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I ran my hands over his shoulders, neck, up to his cheeks. “I’m not Kendra. I will not just disappear, Kaden,” I assured him.

It was the wrong thing to say. Kaden jerked back and grabbed my wrists, tearing my hands away from his face and stepping back.

“What happened with us,” he let the words fall, “was the biggest mistake of my life.”

Something broke in me. I gasped. But Kaden was not finished.

“Stay away from me, Allie. I mean it. I can’t take this shit right now.”

My hands were tingling; I wanted to slap him so badly. But I wouldn’t give in to this desire.

Instead, I felt myself shut down. The pain and the fear became so overwhelming and unbearable that I had two options: I could let it break me. Or I could push everything, every single sensation, into the farthest corner of my heart until there was nothing but a cold center. I could numb myself before the pain did it for me.

“So you want me to leave?” I asked. My voice was calm, no trace of the sadness or anger that was shaking my core.

Kaden nodded once and averted his eyes. “Yes.”

“You want to end our relationship like this? By throwing me out of the apartment?”

“The rules were there from the start, Allie.”

My teeth clenched. “And they were doomed from the start—your words.”

“I say a lot when I want to have my way.”

“Don’t act as if you only said it so I’d let you in,” I hissed. “There would have been more effective ways to do that.”

Kaden breathed out. “Why are you making it so hard for me?”

“Because, goddammit, I’m not one of those girls you can hook up with and toss to the trash heap. I’m the girl who lay in your arms and confided in you about her own painful past. I’m the one who—”

Kaden put a hand on my mouth. “No.”

I pushed it off. “You can’t just call it quits because you’re afraid to share your past. I know how hard it is, Kaden. Believe me. But I did it anyway.”

“And that’s my problem!” he cried, rubbing both hands on his face.

I froze. “What did you say?”

“Allie, please, I can’t. I tried… it just won’t work.” He swallowed. “I just can’t be together with you. It’s not about you. It’s—”

“Because of Anderson? Because of the thing with my mom?” I whispered.

He shook his head. “There are just some things that… happened. Things that would destroy you if you learned about them. It can’t work. I can never be with someone like you.”

His words shattered me. I backed away.

Something dark flickered in his eyes. “And sooner or later we would have broken up anyway, believe me. It’s better this way.”

I suppressed my tears. My protective walls stood up at once. Then I looked into Kaden’s eyes with as much contempt as I could muster. Cool and calculated, even though I was falling apart inside.

“I’m not the kind of woman who runs after anyone, Kaden. You should know that by now.” I squared my shoulders. “If you want me to go, I’ll go. But don’t think I’ll ever come back.”

It seemed like an eternity passed before he nodded. “I can live with that.”

So I did it. Turned around and left, though my heart hurt so much that I could hardly move.