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“I couldn’t, River. Not without questions. Eventually you’d be wondering why I never went home. Why I stayed on campus the entire year. And your mom? I’m not entirely convinced she can’t read minds.” I make a cross sign with my fingers.

River snorts. “That’s because she can. Mom’s spidey sense is off the charts. But you could have come a few times. Like you did freshman year.”

How can I make her understand how I felt at her home? I don’t want to hurt her. “Being with your family was the best, but also so hard. I had nothing like that. I’ve never had family meals and all that laughter and joy. It was too much. It made me envious, and I didn’t want to feel that way. You and your family were so kind to me. But I was an outsider. I didn’t belong, I didn’t know how to be.” My stomach clenches, the truth I’m so used to denying hits me like a physical blow.

I’m saved from her response when one of the regulars waves at me. “I’ll be right back.”

I refill their drinks and get them a fresh batch of pretzels. The Three Stooges watch me. I glance at the TV. How much longer until this game is over? Fourth quarter. Hope they leave soon.

I go back to River. She puts a hand up before I can speak. “I want you to come home with me for Christmas. I don't want you to spend Christmas alone ever again. Please say yes.”

I wring my hands in my apron. “I don’t know if I can come.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because my father wants me to spend Christmas with him.”

She squeals and covers her mouth with both hands. Wiggles in her chair like an excited little kid. “Oh my God. That’s good, right? You said he’s a nice guy.”

“Yes, it is good. And guess what? I have a brother and sister. He’s married, and the wife is lovely too.”

“I’m so happy for you. Tell me more.”

I grin at her. “I will. But first ask me what I did for Thanksgiving.”

Chapter Thirty-Seven

“Professor Beckett?You had Thanksgiving dinner with Professor Beckett?”

“Yes. And his brother, Tommy, too.” I take the empty fries plate and put it in the dirty dishes tray.

River gives me her empty mug. “Now, speak. Leave nothing out.”

I put both our mugs on the tray. “Tommy invited me over. Said it was Dylan’s idea—”

“Oh, it’s Dylan now. No longer Professor Dick, I see.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me.

I look around the bar, no one is asking for anything. The game is over, and the highlights are playing. It’s only the locals and the Three Stooges hanging out now. “Hold on.”

I walk to them. “Can I get you guys anything else?”

“No, I’m good.” This from the guy on the left. He gets up and slides me a twenty. “Keep the change.”

“Thanks, Larry.”

He smiles. “Hey, you remember my name.”

I smile back and turn to the other two. Curly, the guy in the middle, gets up and puts his jacket on. He was nursing a soda all night. Guess he’s the designated driver. He gives me a five and both of them step back, waiting for Moe.

“You guys go.” He looks at River. “I’ll stay a little longer.”

A chill runs down my spine. I don’t like the way he’s looking at her. I don’t like it at all.

Larry, the nicer one of them, steps closer. “What? How you going to get back to campus?”

“I have a feeling I’ll get a ride.” Moe takes a long sip of his beer. His fifth for the night.

“Come on, let’s go.” Curly puts his hand on Moe’s shoulder, but he shoves it off. “You two pussies can leave. I have plans for tonight.”