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It makes the spot between my legs warm. I wanted him to touch me tonight. I wanted him to kiss me.
I must have Stockholm syndrome. That’s the only explanation for how I feel. Otherwise, I’ll have to admit to myself that maybe I don’t hate Finn as much as I say I do.
Finn
Aria’s naked body consumes my dreams and when I wake up, I find that I’m rock hard. I take care of it in the shower. When I come, I think of Aria on her knees before me, my cock in her mouth. I’ve had hard-ons for women before but nothing this intense. Nothing this consuming.
I want to make her fully mine. I’ve never cared about a girl enough to make her mine before. What is Aria doing to me?
To distract me, I take on another job to make some extra cash. Before I leave for the day, I make sure to lock the bedroom door while Aria is sleeping so she can’t escape again. We may be married but that doesn’t mean she’ll abide by that.
The new job I take is from a man who wants his wife murdered. A lot like the doctor situation. His wife has more money than he does and he wants it.
I meet up at a bar to meet the man and collect my money than I head off to kill the woman.
I watch the home for a few hours to make sure no one stops by. The husband told me he was going to be at work all day while his wife stayed home.
The wife’s name is Sarah Williams. A simple name. A simple life. One I’m going to end. I’ve already made a hundred grand and I’ll receive the rest once I kill the woman.
When no one arrives, I slip my ski mask on and break into her house. I hear Sarah in the living room. She’s watching TV.
As I tiptoe closer, I see that she’s not alone.
She has a baby with her.
She and the baby are on the ground, playing some sort of game you play with children. I don’t really know since I know nothing of kids.
She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. A girl judging by her pink onesie.
Jack, Sarah’s husband, never told me they had a baby. He also didn’t tell me that Sarah was young. As in her early twenties. As in, close to Aria’s age. She kind of resembles Aria with her blonde hair too.
This poor girl doesn’t even know what’s going to befall her.
I stand in the doorway to the living room, watching them, and not making a sound. It would be so easy to shoot her in the back of the head from here. I could make it so she didn’t have to feel any fear before she died.
But when would Jack return home from work? The baby would be on her own until then and I didn’t sign on to kill babies. I may be a colossal asshole but I draw the line at children. I will not murder a child or baby.
If I kill Sarah right now, the baby could get hurt and that doesn’t sit right with me. I remember being abused by my father when I was a child. I remember how scared I was. I would be doing the same to that baby.
Sarah is innocent like Aria is and yet, I’m screwing up her life. Or, I will in a moment when I can get my feet to move.
But… why can’t I move? Sarah means nothing to me. She’s a job like any other. Killing her should be easy.
So why can’t I pull the fucking trigger? I can’t even seem to lift my gun to point it at her head.
“Who’s my favorite baby?” Sarah asks her daughter, making the baby laugh. Jack didn’t tell me everything.
Move, I tell myself. Just kill her. Do your job.
But… I can’t. I fucking can’t. I can’t hurt Sarah and her daughter. For the first time since I’ve become a hitman, I can’t do the job I was born to do.
I tiptoe out the back door and hurry to my car and drive off. Jack will be pissed I didn’t do my job but I’ll just kill him instead. Sarah is better off anyway. She won’t know it but she will be.
I didn’t kill anyone, I think in awe as I drive away.
I showed empathy for once in my life.
All I know is that I’m changing and I’m not sure if it’s for the better or not.