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“Four,” he said.“I do a lot of travel, and it’s nice to have my own landing pad.I have a condo in Minneapolis, a lake house out near Duck Lake, where your family lives, the house in Boca—north of Miami—and of course, the estate down in Mariposa.And a number of rental units around the US, like in Key West and New York City.”
He said it casually, like it was normal to own so many locations, but maybe for him, it was.Maybe it was simply about getting used to a different normal.Could she get used to this normal?Right now, it felt simple.Easy.
But tonight she was in the middle of a fairy tale.
“When we get back to Miami, I’ll check on the search for your boat,” he said.“Someone’s got to have seen it.”
“I hope so.Unlike you, I have only one residence—and that’s it.”She finished off her gelato.“But I do get around in it.So, in a way, I also have many homes.”
“I like how you think.”He got up to throw their cups in a nearby trash bin.“So, did you always want to be a diver?”He helped her out of her chair and took her hand again.
“Oh, no.That was after my parents took us on a trip to SeaWorld.Of course, I grew up around lakes in Minnesota, but there’s something about diving in the ocean.They let me take a beginner diving class at the resort in the pool, and I absolutely fell in love with it.It’s like flying underwater.”
“Yes,” he said.“I agree—it’s very freeing.Although I had to get over the idea of claustrophobia the first time I did it.”He’d laced his fingers through hers, intimate, his hand encompassing and strong.
“Oh, that’s normal.One of the biggest things we tell people is that youcanbreathe, so stay calm.”
“I just didn’t love the idea of not having any options.I only have that air, and if it fails me, then I die.”
“Yeah, that’s not a great way to look at it.”She laughed.“But you’re right, you have to learn to trust your equipment.”She looked at him.“You don’t seem a man easily frightened.Is there anything you’re afraid of?”
He considered her a moment, and her question seemed to play in his eyes.“Yes,” he said quietly.“I fear getting it wrong, and getting into a mess that I can’t untangle myself from.”He stopped and turned to her, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.“I fear other people getting hurt because I made a bad decision.”
She wanted to kiss him again, especially when his gaze roamed her face.She could get lost in those eyes, in the sense of him holding her.
“I fear freezing.Or running.Mostly because I don’t know what to do,” she said.“Like when Boo went missing and then Grandma collapsed in the kitchen.I thought Grandma was going to die and that it would be all my fault.Thankfully, my brother Conrad came into the house, saw what had happened, and ran to get Grandfather.But I was just paralyzed—useless—and I hated that about myself.”
He was watching her, and she looked away, started to walk again.But he said nothing, his presence easy, quiet.Freeing.
“Iranafter Margo died.I couldn’t stay in the Keys.Everything there reminded me of her.Her brother Mo has a memorial for her every year—a big party to celebrate her life.”She shook her head.“I’ve never gone.I think that’s why Steinbeck came down to Key West—because he knew that the anniversary of her death was coming up and he really wanted me to go.”
“Really wanted you to go?”
“He thinks I need to face it and forgive myself, but it’s too easy to go back to that moment when I’m watching her fast ascend and I’m paralyzed.I can’t bear the memory of it, so I just don’t go.”
He made a sound like understanding, a deep hum in his chest that somehow rumbled into her too.
“What’s funny is that I always tell people when they’re shark diving to not panic, to stay still.Don’t run, because it only alerts the shark to follow.I froze with Grandma, but with Margo, I ran.And now I just...I run.”
“And the shark is always on your tail.”
She looked up, nodded.
He stopped and took her other hand.“Whatever business problem I have, I have two choices.I can either ignore it or I can face it.Facing it helps me figure out how to fix it.”
“I don’t know how to fix grief.”She sighed.“And I didn’t know that grief would feel so much like fear.”
She felt a little naked standing there, but he just smiled, softness in his gaze.
“I guess the truth is that I don’t like being scared.And I don’t like being helpless either.”
He studied her and then gave a nod.“Join the rest of the world.”
Right.
And then he shrugged.“We’re not so different.”
Oh, she only wished that were true.Because at any moment, the clock would strike midnight and the fairytale would end.