Page 222
Story: At the Edge of Surrender
“That’s right, Auntie Raven. My mommy told me I’m really extra smart, so you need to know it.”
Maci went right back to the tumbling instructions Nolan was giving her, the little boy far too excited that she was going to be joining him in class next week.
Affection rushed out of Raven, and she glanced at me. “She’s so special, Emery. I’m so thankful she’s a part of our lives. Thatyou’rea part of our lives.”
I wavered in my uncertainty, so desperately wanting to be a part of it.
Concern rode into her expression. “You are staying?” she pressed.
Wariness wheezed from my nose. “I’m supposed to go back in two weeks.”
Questions marred both their brows, and I sighed as I continued, “Emmalee left me her clothing boutique back in Wisconsin. Her friendhas been managing it for the last few months, but I’m scheduled to go back and take it over.”
Charleigh frowned. “Is that what you want to do?”
I couldn’t stop the bout of wistfulness from rushing out. “My sister and I, we always dreamed of owning a shop together…”
I hesitated, unsure how much to give them, but my heart told me I could trust them with most anything. “But, we had a traumatic experience when we were seventeen.”
Both Charleigh and Raven released heavy breaths. In an instant, their care and understanding weaved around me.
Emboldening.
Sustaining.
As if they absolutely understood everything I was feeling.
“I kind of…withdrew afterward. At first, I tried to act normal. To go to college and date and do all the things I thought someone my age was supposed to do. But it got worse with each year that passed. By the time we graduated and Emmalee was ready to open it, I had gotten to the point where I barely left my house. So, she ended up doing it alone. Without me.”
I gave them a sad glance. “I know it broke her heart a little bit.”
Needing a safe place to cast my attention, I turned it back to Maci and Nolan. I was silent for the longest time, swimming through the memories, through the support of my new friends.
Finally, I whispered, “After Maci was born, something changed inside me. I realized I didn’t want to be the aunt who couldn’t leave her house. I wanted to experience thislifewith my niece. I’ve been slowly coming out from behind the shell I built around myself. And now that Emmalee is gone…”
Thickness gathered in my throat, and I forced myself to continue, “I want to live. I want to live the way my twin had tried to get me to do. But now, I’m starting to wonder if thatlifeis supposed to begin here.”
I took in the scene. This house and the children’s laughter and the tugging on my spirit. The connection that pulled through time and space, begging for Kane’s return.
And I couldn’t imagine it—leaving this behind.
Any of them.
A shiver rolled through me at the thought, mixed with the anxiety that I couldn’t shake with Kane being gone. Goosebumps lifted, and I ran my hands up my arms.
Raven must have noticed it because she rubbed the same spot, her face twisting in sympathy.
“You’ll get used to it,” she whispered, so low, as if she could see straight into my mind.
I looked her in the eye, a plea pouring out. “What am I getting used to?”
Her expression dimmed. “Kane needs to tell you that, Emery. I can’t do it myself. But I will tell you that anything he does, he does it because he’s a good man.”
Was that enough?
I wanted it to be.
I wanted to let go.
Maci went right back to the tumbling instructions Nolan was giving her, the little boy far too excited that she was going to be joining him in class next week.
Affection rushed out of Raven, and she glanced at me. “She’s so special, Emery. I’m so thankful she’s a part of our lives. Thatyou’rea part of our lives.”
I wavered in my uncertainty, so desperately wanting to be a part of it.
Concern rode into her expression. “You are staying?” she pressed.
Wariness wheezed from my nose. “I’m supposed to go back in two weeks.”
Questions marred both their brows, and I sighed as I continued, “Emmalee left me her clothing boutique back in Wisconsin. Her friendhas been managing it for the last few months, but I’m scheduled to go back and take it over.”
Charleigh frowned. “Is that what you want to do?”
I couldn’t stop the bout of wistfulness from rushing out. “My sister and I, we always dreamed of owning a shop together…”
I hesitated, unsure how much to give them, but my heart told me I could trust them with most anything. “But, we had a traumatic experience when we were seventeen.”
Both Charleigh and Raven released heavy breaths. In an instant, their care and understanding weaved around me.
Emboldening.
Sustaining.
As if they absolutely understood everything I was feeling.
“I kind of…withdrew afterward. At first, I tried to act normal. To go to college and date and do all the things I thought someone my age was supposed to do. But it got worse with each year that passed. By the time we graduated and Emmalee was ready to open it, I had gotten to the point where I barely left my house. So, she ended up doing it alone. Without me.”
I gave them a sad glance. “I know it broke her heart a little bit.”
Needing a safe place to cast my attention, I turned it back to Maci and Nolan. I was silent for the longest time, swimming through the memories, through the support of my new friends.
Finally, I whispered, “After Maci was born, something changed inside me. I realized I didn’t want to be the aunt who couldn’t leave her house. I wanted to experience thislifewith my niece. I’ve been slowly coming out from behind the shell I built around myself. And now that Emmalee is gone…”
Thickness gathered in my throat, and I forced myself to continue, “I want to live. I want to live the way my twin had tried to get me to do. But now, I’m starting to wonder if thatlifeis supposed to begin here.”
I took in the scene. This house and the children’s laughter and the tugging on my spirit. The connection that pulled through time and space, begging for Kane’s return.
And I couldn’t imagine it—leaving this behind.
Any of them.
A shiver rolled through me at the thought, mixed with the anxiety that I couldn’t shake with Kane being gone. Goosebumps lifted, and I ran my hands up my arms.
Raven must have noticed it because she rubbed the same spot, her face twisting in sympathy.
“You’ll get used to it,” she whispered, so low, as if she could see straight into my mind.
I looked her in the eye, a plea pouring out. “What am I getting used to?”
Her expression dimmed. “Kane needs to tell you that, Emery. I can’t do it myself. But I will tell you that anything he does, he does it because he’s a good man.”
Was that enough?
I wanted it to be.
I wanted to let go.
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