Page 4
Story: Art of Convenience
You up?
Me
I know you didn’t just send me a ‘you up’ text.
Jonas
Soak it in. I can’t imagine you ever getting another one.
Me
????
Jonas
It’s the first Saturday of the month. Half-off pancakes at the cafe if we get there by 9.
Me
You make 7 figures. Why the hell are you harassing me out the door for half-off pancakes?
Jonas
It’s one of the ways I get my kicks.
Me
I don’t want to know about your kicks. I’m going back to bed, leave me alone.
Instead of settingmy phone down and going back to sleep I open my work email and busy myself for a few minutes.
Boom Boom Boom
It sounds like the task force is at my door.What the hell?I move swiftly out of the king-size bed. Not bothering to find a shirt, I hurry through the living room, clipping my hip on the side of one of the green couches. I squeeze my eyes shut and breathe a silentfffffuck.Just as my hand grasps the doorknob, I’m met with a hideous falsetto.
“How could you use me like this? You said I was the one! Did last night mean nothing to you?”
I rear back from the door, my eyes narrowing as I try to get my ears to work harder.
“You just want to use me like toilet paper, I get it. Well, let me tellyousomething. You will never find anyone who will lick that ass better than me.”
My eyes threaten to pop out of their sockets when I realize whose voice that is. The door nearly flies off the hinges when I rip it open, grab Jonas by the back of his neck, and throw him inside my suite.
He holds up his hands in mock surrender, “Okay, I’m sor—.” He drops his head trying to hide his laugh which only causes my scowl to deepen. “I’m sorry. But since you're up, can we go get pancakes now?” He points to the door behind me.
“You’re an idiot.” I adjust myself in my gym shorts that are twisted after I flew out of the bed and move to the kitchen to assess the coffee situation.
Jonas only shrugs, “Just another way I like to get my kicks. Annoying you.” He makes his way further into the living room and falls down onto the daybed by the window that overlooks the fountains below. “Put a shirt on, so we can go, the Ubers here take forever,” he yells across the open floor plan.
I run both hands through my hair and look at Jonas, the picture of unaffected, before giving up and walking back to my room to change.
Camila
The dry sunis beating down on my skin and sucking the life out of me. Although to be fair, it could also have something to do with all the Adios Motherfucker drinks we downed last night. I gag a little at the memory.
“Remember when we were supposed to just go to a nice dinner and have an early night last night?” I look over at Taylor, squinting out of one eye.
“Honestly, this is better,” she says, keeping her eyes shut as she basks in the sun. “We only wanted to have an early nightlast night,so we could day-drinktoday, but in this heat? Who would want to do anything but lay out at the pool anyway? Now we’re in recovery mode so we can go hard in the paint again tonight.”
Me
I know you didn’t just send me a ‘you up’ text.
Jonas
Soak it in. I can’t imagine you ever getting another one.
Me
????
Jonas
It’s the first Saturday of the month. Half-off pancakes at the cafe if we get there by 9.
Me
You make 7 figures. Why the hell are you harassing me out the door for half-off pancakes?
Jonas
It’s one of the ways I get my kicks.
Me
I don’t want to know about your kicks. I’m going back to bed, leave me alone.
Instead of settingmy phone down and going back to sleep I open my work email and busy myself for a few minutes.
Boom Boom Boom
It sounds like the task force is at my door.What the hell?I move swiftly out of the king-size bed. Not bothering to find a shirt, I hurry through the living room, clipping my hip on the side of one of the green couches. I squeeze my eyes shut and breathe a silentfffffuck.Just as my hand grasps the doorknob, I’m met with a hideous falsetto.
“How could you use me like this? You said I was the one! Did last night mean nothing to you?”
I rear back from the door, my eyes narrowing as I try to get my ears to work harder.
“You just want to use me like toilet paper, I get it. Well, let me tellyousomething. You will never find anyone who will lick that ass better than me.”
My eyes threaten to pop out of their sockets when I realize whose voice that is. The door nearly flies off the hinges when I rip it open, grab Jonas by the back of his neck, and throw him inside my suite.
He holds up his hands in mock surrender, “Okay, I’m sor—.” He drops his head trying to hide his laugh which only causes my scowl to deepen. “I’m sorry. But since you're up, can we go get pancakes now?” He points to the door behind me.
“You’re an idiot.” I adjust myself in my gym shorts that are twisted after I flew out of the bed and move to the kitchen to assess the coffee situation.
Jonas only shrugs, “Just another way I like to get my kicks. Annoying you.” He makes his way further into the living room and falls down onto the daybed by the window that overlooks the fountains below. “Put a shirt on, so we can go, the Ubers here take forever,” he yells across the open floor plan.
I run both hands through my hair and look at Jonas, the picture of unaffected, before giving up and walking back to my room to change.
Camila
The dry sunis beating down on my skin and sucking the life out of me. Although to be fair, it could also have something to do with all the Adios Motherfucker drinks we downed last night. I gag a little at the memory.
“Remember when we were supposed to just go to a nice dinner and have an early night last night?” I look over at Taylor, squinting out of one eye.
“Honestly, this is better,” she says, keeping her eyes shut as she basks in the sun. “We only wanted to have an early nightlast night,so we could day-drinktoday, but in this heat? Who would want to do anything but lay out at the pool anyway? Now we’re in recovery mode so we can go hard in the paint again tonight.”
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