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“Do you want to talk about it?” His voice is like gravel.

Yes. No. Fuck, I don’t know.I wasn’t expecting him to be so bold and just bring it up like that. The sound of the toaster pops in the distance but I’ve completely lost my appetite now so I ignore it.

“Not yet,” I whisper.

He nods his head and bends forward towards the coffee table, the hem of his shirt rises, revealing a sliver of his lower back and my mouth goes dry as images of last night, tornado around my mind.

I twist my wet hair into a low bun as he sets my computer in my lap. “What's this for?”

“I figured now would be a good time to find out my enneagram.”

A grateful smile spreads across my face because I know he's doing anything he can to make me feel comfortable. And if he's trying so hard, then maybe he doesn’t think last night was a mistake. I let my body relax a little more as I sink further into the couch and fire up my laptop.

“I have a vivid imagination.”

Miles throws his head back pretending to be annoyed. “Oh my god. All these questions are the same, I don't know.”

“Okay, I’ll say neither agree nor disagreeagain.” I throw a pointed glance at him. “Next question. I show two different sides of myself to different people.”

“Strongly agree.” His eyes fixate on mine causing my entire body to feel like I’m being engulfed in flames. I don't need to ask to know that he’s referring to me. It’s obvious to anyone witheyes that he’s different around me than he is with anyone else. I should have come out of my room a lot sooner because just being around Miles relaxes me in a way I’ve never felt before.

“You know what? I don't need this test to tell me, you're an eight,” I say closing my laptop.

“What about you? What does the test say about you?”

I fill my cheeks with air before blowing it out with a heavy sigh. “The condensed version I guess would be gentle and nurturing. A ‘yes’ person, someone who will take care of everyone else before themselves and at the core, my basic desire is to be loved.” The second the words are out of my mouth I wish I could take them back. It feels too vulnerable.

“Hmm,” his eyes narrow in deep thought. “And do you agree with all of it?”

“There’s definitely a lot more that goes into it than just that.” I turn to face him. “But for the most part, yeah, I think so.”

“And what type are you most compatible with?”Eight.I stare at him unmoving, my swallow audible.

“I’m not sure,” I lie. His tongue swipes at his bottom lip before he pulls it between his teeth and my chest lifts on a shaky inhale. His long legs are sprawled out comfortable in front of him with an arm casually draped over the back of the couch. I set my laptop down and scoot closer to him. I place my hand on his knee and he drops our eye contact, concentrating heavily where my hand sits. When his body stiffens I hesitate, losing some of my nerve. “Tell me something,” I say.

A long silent pause fills the room. His eyes remain on my hand and I’ve gone back and forth one hundred times on if I should move it, but I hold my breath and keep it there. Waiting.

“I really fucked up last night.”

I’ve never actually been hit, but I imagine this is what it feels like. I pull my hand away as if I’ve been burned and violently rear my body back.

His head falls back with a grunt before looking at me. “Camila, I?—”

I hold up a hand to stop him, “No. You know what, I shouldn’t have said anything.” I untangle my legs from under me and hastily move to get off the couch.

“You didn’t say anything.”

I don’t remember what I said or didn't say. All I can hear is a ringing surrounded byI really fucked up last night.I walk around the coffee table trying like hell not to fall because I’m not even sure my brain is connected to my muscles anymore.

“Camila, wait. That's not what I meant.”

“Please. Let's not do this. We have a few weeks left before we can do anything about our situation,” I wave a hand between us. “And you were right before, we shouldn’t complicate it. It’s not a secret we might have had a little attraction to each other in the beginning but I’ve definitely worked that out of my system now. So, we're good. Let's just leave it at that. Please?”

His lips pull slightly down and his intense stare is too much for me to bear. He opens his mouth once and I look away.

“Okay...” His voice is dull and my eyes close for a brief moment before I hurry to the stairs. I don’t need to look back to know his eyes are following me.

Staying in bed this morning and worrying about this exact outcome couldn't have prepared me for how terrible it would actually feel. I’m crushed and embarrassed. Mostly I’m annoyed that I even let myself believe last night would have changed anything.I’ve slowly been allowing myself to search for the things I didn't know I wanted, and the first thing I decide I want tells me a night with me was a mistake. But he did tell me from the very beginning this would never be anything more than a business deal and I would be better off remembering that from now on.