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“Okay…” I thought I was, so I don’t know why he had to come over to tell me.
His jaw hardens. “I’m sorry about last night. Have you heard from Oscar?”
“I talked to him,” I say, realizing that maybe what he just said was his excuse to come over. “He’s okay. Still in pain though.”
“He’ll be at the dinner, too, so—” He gives me a warning look. “—behave yourself.”
I wish I could act affronted at that, but I can’t. Having Oscar come into my apartment last night was fucking dumb. We should’ve finished talking in the car and then he could have been on his merry way instead of injured during the most important time of the year for him.
Magnum looks me up and down, but eventually concentrates on my face.
“What?”
“Did he hurt you?”
I shake my head. “He didn’t touch me at all.” I tug my hand through my hair, pulling at the roots. “He was just furious over Oscar.”
Magnum swallows. His prominent Adam’s apple gets lost in his copper scruff but then drops down again. “I don’t know how long you’re going to be able to keep this up,” he says. I slice him a look, and he continues. “I know you care for all of them, so what are you going to do?”
I shrug. It’s not as if this question hasn’t plagued me, and I’m still one hundred percent riding on the hope that I can mold Johnny into a better person. Maybe even open him up to the idea of having others he can count on. Brawler and Oscar are good people, and they would be so good for Johnny. I can’t like them all for nothing, right? What if it could be just us? All of us, there for each other?
I know we aren’t used to getting everything we want—or at all—but this is one dream I’m going to hold close to my heart.
“I don’t really have a plan,” I admit, casting a wary gaze at Magnum.
“I just don’t want to see any of you get hurt, and in my experience, that’s where this is headed. All of you are heading down a one-way street that ends badly.”
I shrug again. “This may seem like the most selfish thing to say, but I’m not giving any of them up right now. Hopefully, ever. My heart can’t take more loss.”
Magnum’s gaze cuts to me, and for some reason, it slices right down to the bone this time. “You deserve to have everything, and anyone, you want.”
My emotions stir. My body remembers the way he massaged me yesterday. The moments we’ve had getting to know one another. It’s easy to try to shut that shit down, but I can’t help the way Magnum looks at me, as if he might feel the same way too. Maybe there’s a reason he’s asking all these questions.
“Magnum.” I take a step toward him.
He takes a step back. “You need to focus on you right now.” He licks his lips, gaze dropping to take me in. “I have a feeling this dinner won’t be pleasant.”
“Fuck the dinner.”
He shakes his head. “Not this one.” He breathes out, watching my every move to make sure I don’t get close again, as if he wouldn’t be able to stop himself if I did. “I just needed to make sure you were okay. I’ll come get you in an hour to take you up to the dinner.”
He retreats, and when I say retreat, I mean it. He turns around and strides from the room without giving me a second glance. My heart is in my throat.
Fuck me. There’s something in the water in the Heights. Or I’m just attracted to people who are just as fucked up as I am.
32
When Magnum comes back to get me, I’m perfectly put together. Because this has been hailed as a business meeting, I have a very reserved, knee-length dark blue dress on with my hair in waves down my back. My makeup is muted and tasteful, but with hopefully a hint of ‘take me fucking seriously’. I was even able to cover the scratches up on my forehead. I don’t know what’s going to go down. The meeting isn’t what it was going to be originally with all the big businessmen in the Crew getting together with their wives, but I’m steeling myself for anything.
“I’ll be by your side the whole time,” Magnum says when we’re in the elevator.
I turn toward him. There’s just something about the way he’s said that that reminds me of the shootout. “If you’re holding something back from me—.”
He shakes his head quickly. “No. For fuck’s sake, no. I’m just telling you I’m there.”
I eye him, but he seems sincere. If something big goes down that I wasn’t let in on again, I’m going to really make them pay this time.
The elevator dings, and I step outside. There’s a gentleman in the doorway of Big Daddy K’s suite who’s looking inside but turns when he hears the elevator. He’s the same age as Johnny, or at least he looks to be.