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Oscar waggles his brows at me, staring down at his crotch suggestively.
I shake my head. “Bacon. Real bacon.”
“We could go out to eat,” Oscar offers.
“We’ll have to go someplace beyond the Crew’s reach,” Mag says, voice taking on his bodyguard persona. “I can think of a few places.”
“Great,” I beam. “I’ll text Brawler and tell him to skip school. Actually, Oscar, you text him.” That way it doesn’t look suspicious that I’m telling Brawler to skip school.
Within the hour, we pull to a stop a couple of blocks away from the school and Brawler gets in the back with Oscar and me. I’m wedged in the middle, but I don’t mind one bit. “Hey,” I say, greeting him. He has on a Golden Gloves boxing shirt that clings to his muscled torso.
“So, what’s going on?” he asks, gaze shifting to Magnum who’s left the divider down.
“We’re going out to breakfast,” I tell him, squeezing his knee. “Johnny and his dad are away on a business trip. They’ll be back Wednesday.”
Brawler’s face softens, but then he freezes when I squeeze his knee. He darts a look at Magnum.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Oscar says, speaking up. “Apparently Magnum knows that we’re both into Princess. He’s being a pal and not sharing this info with the Crew.” Brawler’s face pales. His gaze moves to mine, but before I can say anything, Oscar interrupts again. “I’m pretty sure he wants to fuck her, but—”
“Jesus, Oscar. Shut the hell up.”
“Notice how he hasn’t denied it though.”
Mag meets my gaze in the mirror. “Brawler, I can understand. That one,” he says, gaze drifting toward Oscar. He shakes his head in response, which tells me exactly what he thinks about Oscar and me.
“That’s what I said,” Brawler grumbles.
Oscar peers around me to stare Brawler down. “Just when I thought we were becoming close.”
“I told you,” Brawler states. “I’ll do whatever Kyla wants because I’m here for her. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
I blink, gazing between the two of them. “You had a discussion about this? Without me?” Damn. We haven’t even gotten to the breakfast place yet, and I’m feeling completely outnumbered.
“More like we fought over you until both of us decided we weren’t giving you up.” Oscar’s voice loses all its edge as he looks at me, his words seeping into my skin.
He might feel differently if he knew what I was planning on doing. Oscar’s in the thick of everything. It’ll be hard for him to leave the Crew, even if he’s not associated with what I plan on doing. I know why he joined, but still the overwhelming sense of being stuck swallows me. It’s an awful way to live.
Brawler pulls me closer to whisper in my ear, “You sure Magnum’s cool?”
I nod, locking gazes with Magnum in the rearview mirror. “He’s good,” I whisper back as Oscar threads his fingers through mine. I place my head on Brawler’s shoulder, loving being next to all of them at the same time. If Johnny were here, it would be even better. Honestly, I want him here. The good Johnny would fit in so well with these guys. I want to show him that life can be better than the Crew. You don’t need hundreds of people under you—fearing you—to make your life worthwhile. You just need a few on the same level, supporting you, because I haven’t felt buoyed like this since my parents were alive. I haven’t felt this safe, this loved, since my parents left this Earth, and it’s all because of Brawler and Oscar and the friend I’ve found in Magnum. Sure, it’s not easy. We’ve had to make sacrifices, but I know they’re with me.
Oscar squeezes my fingers as if he knows what thoughts roam through my head. Brawler told me I should tell him my plans sooner rather than later, and I need to. I just don’t know how to bring it up. It’s not that I don’t trust him with the information, it’s that I hate to put any more pressure on him. It’s easy for Brawler to know. He’s barely involved with the Crew, but Oscar is. However, it hasn’t escaped my notice that getting to Big Daddy K might be easier with his help, seeing as he’s already in the Crew, anyway.
I close my eyes, promising myself I’ll tell Oscar while Johnny and Big Daddy K are away. That will give him time to get his shit together before he sees them again.
I can’t think about the consequences if he defies my trust. It would break me.
24
The next day, there’s no pretense of going to school either. Since Brawler can’t come into the tower without raising suspicion and we can’t go to Brawler’s apartment because his mom is unwell, Oscar grudgingly invites us all to his place. When he lets Magnum and I in, he’s shier than I’ve ever seen him. “Hey,” I say.
It’s a little awkward to be invited into these guys’ homes. It’s like unraveling another layer of who they are. I had a pretend life when I was living in the apartment down the hall from Brawler. Nothing in there was anything I ever would have chosen for myself. It was fake. But here—and at Brawler’s—I get another sense of who they are and how they were brought up.
Oscar and his mom live above a corner grocery store. The apartment isn’t as nice as Brawler’s, but it’s clean.
He smiles at me as I enter but gives Magnum a begrudging look that he doesn’t even notice. “Your mom’s not here?”
He shakes his head, but a line of concentration appears in his forehead like he’s trying not to show emotion. I want to ask him about it, but he won’t open up with Magnum right here. I always thought they got along, and they did, up until yesterday morning. I just hope Oscar can shelter his thoughts when the others come home.