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“Maybe I do and maybe I do,” Joy said, laughing.

“Hey, Skylar Alyssa!” Sydney yelled and both Alessi and Hayden turned around from where they’d been getting food. “When is your next book out because I have a need.”

Alessi, who was also known as the sapphic romance author Skylar Alyssa, gave her plate to Hayden and walked over.

“It’s proving to be a little challenging, but it’s coming, I promise. Just a little slower than I’d like,” she said, frowning.

“That’s got to be so hard, I don’t know how you do it,” Sydney said, shaking her head.

“The only thing I’ve ever tried writing is fanfic, and it wasn’t very good,” Joy said, her cheeks going a little pink.

“Wait, what was your ship?” I asked.

She gave me a sad look. “Clexa.”

“Ouch,” I said. “But at least you get to write a happy ending in fanfic?”

“It doesn’t make up for what happened in the show,” she said, and I couldn’t help but agree.

It didn’t matter that the show had been on years ago, your ship not sailing still hurt.

“If we were a ship, what would our name be?” Lark asked Sydney.

“Slark? Sydark?” Sydney suggested.

“We could be Jez,” Joy said.

Everyone joined in making ship names for all the couples and there was a tight feeling in my chest. I wanted a ship name. I wanted a person to have a ship name with.

At some point a few people hopped into the pool to cool off and I decided to make my move with Ezra. Joy was deep in a conversation with Alessi about a potential book event.

“Are you excited about going back to school?” I asked her, hoping that wasn’t too boring of a question.

“I’m nervous. It’s been a few years,” she said. “I’m trying not to think about the cost, or the time commitment.”

I felt like I was still recovering from graduating school. At least once a week I had a nightmare that I’d forgotten about signing up for a class and was sitting in the final exam without having gone to any classes.

“Are you still doing toy reviews and so forth?” I asked.

“I’m going to try to keep up, and keep writing my advice column, but I won’t know if I can juggle everything until the fall,” she said. This was my chance. I scooted closer and dropped my voice.

“So, um, I actually have an online store where I make silicone toys,” I said, pulling up my website on my phone and showing it to her.

Ezra looked at the phone and then at me and smiled.

“It’s incredible how accessible toys are these days,” she said.

“I know. I kind of did it on a whim and got addicted to designing them and coming up with cool color combinations. I don’t do anything too creative, but eventually I’d love to have my own space to really go wild,” I said.

“If you want, I’d be happy to do an honest review for you,” Ezra said.

“Oh that’s okay. I’m still really new at this,” I said. One thing that was keeping me from really expanding was that I kept my prices low. Not that I wasn’t putting all my effort into making the best product I could, but I was one person in a garage. I didn’t have the hardcore equipment or years of experience or a freaking engineering or chemistry degree like some people. I was just a girl in a garage with some silicone and glitter and some tentacle toy molds.

“We all have to start somewhere. Don’t downplay your skills,” she said.

“Thanks. I just…I don’t tell people about it for fear they’d get weird and judgmental,” I said.

Ezra rolled her eyes. “Tell me about it. I can’t wait to tell people I’m a certified sex therapist and watch their heads explode.”