Page 109
Story: A Soul to Protect
“Will you stay here with me if I help your people?” When her lips parted, as if in surprise, he didn’t like that her next words were likely to be a garbled mess of unsure. “T-r-u-t-h-f-u-l-l-y, what point would there be in your staying? You s-e-e-k to feel safe. If I destroy everything that makes you scared, you have no use for me. I will no longer matter.”
“That’s not true, Nathair,” she stated, her eyes crinkling in sadness. “You’re making it sound like I don’t feel anything for you. I care deeply for you, and you mean more to me than you seem to even realise. My feelings for you are not hollow, Nathair, and I wish you wouldn’t think that.”
“But is it enough?” he asked, his usually steady fingers twitching in uncertainty. “My home is here, in this cave, where I cannot hurt anyone. You miss your people, your family, your home. Is what you feel for me more than your desire to return to those things?”
“That’s not fair,” she cried, licking at her lips.
He let out a soft growl, and his gestures became aggressive. “You promised!”
She flinched and then nodded. “I... I don’t know. This feels like it’s moving too fast, and I’m scared.” Despite her bubblingtears, she did meet his gaze. “W-would you come to my home with me?”
The tension bunching his muscles eased a little.She wants me to go with her?
He’d already stated why he was afraid to be near his own kind, let alone humans who could smell of fear or blood – although that would be mostly nullified if she gifted him her soul and removed his hunger. But the fact she’d evenofferedit... proved he’d been wrong.
She does hold me in her heart.
Perhaps a small piece, but enough to ask him, a Mavka, a literal fucking monster, to greet her people by her side. Would she have done so proudly? Would she have held his hand and said he was her partner, or even a friend?
He wanted to. If that was the answer, then he wanted to go with her.
“I cannot. I will kill your people by accident,” he signed. “If you do not remove my hunger, there will only be d-e-s-t-r-u-c-t-i-o-n where I go. Even if you do, I may harm you, or someone, due to my fragments.”
“But if you clear out the mountain springs, we could stay there. It’s currently filled with Demons, and no human dares go near them or into the cave systems, but it’s right near my village.”
Well, that sounded dangerous for her people. Demons inhabiting a place so close to their village only made him wonder how they’d all survived so long.
“What if I slip into a fragment while I am near your people?” He took in a long, calming breath once more, just to steady himself and stop his hands from shaking. “What if you change your mind, Linh? You may find another male, one that is pretty like you, and is kind to you. I am a Mavka. I have a skull–”
“I know what you are, Nathair!” she shouted, her eyes clenching shut and her fists bunching. “Why do you keep stating it like I care? I’ve already told you how I feel about your exterior. T-this morning, I even tried to worship it my own way, so please stop referring to yourself as what you are, like I needreminding.I can see you, have seen you, have even touched you, and have desired you since the beginning, even when you were a little scary.”
His head reared back in surprise. With her little hands balled into fists and her eyes clenched shut, she’d roared her words. It only made him swallow the truth of them with a heavy lump of emotion.
But it wasn’t enough.
I am not human.He couldn’t escape this nagging worry that if he were to travel with her to her people, she’d realise just how much of a monster he was. Right now, he was comforting, he was safe.
When she felt that again, what use was he? There were other males, ones like her, ones that didn’t have voices screaming at them from inside their heads. Ones who had soft flesh, and two legs. Who could give her the kisses she obviously sought whenever she lathered them over his skull.
As I said to her, I am not a holy being.And his orbs shifted to dark orange in crushing guilt when he realised just how much he selfishly wished to keep her. Enough to separate her from her people forever, enough to not give her the chance to realise how odd their pairing was.
This is doomed to fail.
He hated that. He hated that he could see how deeply she wanted to protect her people, and would likely resent him when he continued to deny this wish. He hated that no matter what he did, whether he helped them or not, she would eventually go back to humankind. Nathair doubted he, and what he couldoffer – this life – would be good enough for not just her, butanyhuman.
Being with her own kind was not unjustified, but this relationship just wouldn’t work otherwise.
He also hated that he... didn’t care.
As he’d said to her, if he could not have her, he would like a taste of her. To be someone she remembered fondly in the future, as someone she had temporarily desired, and someone who may have helped...healher. Someone he, in his own selfish way, hoped she regretted leaving behind.
I want her for as long as she wants me, and then more.His heart radiated with tender affection and a sickening cold pang.
“You promised that you would take my plans as what they are: truth. If you do not stay, I do not think I will be able to fight my fragments on my own. I worry about how much they will crush me in your absence.”
He worried they would return tenfold and obliterate him from the inside out. They’d tortured him more violently than ever when he’d returned to life. He kept wondering if her being here meant he would need to restart.
Her lips trembled as she took in his words. Nathair revelled in the heartsick he could see in her expression because it was proof hemeantsomething to her.
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