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There were times when I’d managed to enjoy it. After enough alcohol and months of deprivation, touching another had been pleasing. But I’d never kissed any of them. I’d never looked into their faces as they came. I’d fucked them from behind, or let them ride me. Anything to avoid intimacy. Because that’s not what this was.

But now it was simply torture.

Not even imagining I’d been with Elara had helped. The lady had tried several times to mount me, and I’d managed to avoid that. I’d fucked her with my hand, and when she continued to mewl and pout I finally used my tongue. She’d tasted acrid and stale, her scent making me nauseous. But she’d come quickly, screaming as she flailed amongst the silk sheets.

The only satisfaction I’d felt was forcing my cock down her privileged throat, seeing the tears leak from the corners of those fucking eyes that looked at me like a piece of meat. I’d flooded her mouth with my release, and she’d desperately wiped it off her chin, clearly disappointed I’d not done that inside her.

Never again. I pressed my fists to my eyes. I didn’t want to do this ever again. I didn’t want to be whored out ever again. I rolled onto my stomach, retching heavily. I didn’t care if I threw up on this bed, on its fine velvets and silks. I hated it.

With shaking hands, I dressed, rushing out into the passageway and past the cruel, judging gazes of the guards. They’d heard everything. They knew what that room was for. Shame burned at the base of my neck, tears biting at my eyes. By the time I was back in my chamber, my lungs were contracting painfully as I tried desperately to breathe.

I picked up a bottle of liquor that I’d smuggled into my room at some point, pulling the cork out with my teeth and spitting it on the floor before I downed so much of the biting alcohol my throat was numb. I wanted to wash away that taste, that fucking awful taste of that female. I tore off my clothes that reeked of her, and threw them into the corner of the room.

The bath I drew myself was so hot that it scalded my skin as I sank into it. I scrubbed at my skin until it was raw, until everything hurt. And still I felt so desperately and awfully unclean.

There was a sharp knock at the door, followed by a muffled bellow ofThe King,and suddenly Theron had swept into my room. He was still dressed in his attire from the ball, save for his crown, and the slight way to his step told me he’d imbibed too much wine.

“Good evening, my friend,” he drawled, sidling to the tub. “And, how was our noble guest?”

“Fine.” I still felt sick, her taste clinging to the roof of my mouth.

Theron guffawed, sitting on the window sill, his arms crossed over his chest. “Fine?”

“Yes, fine.” I wanted to cry, or scream, or smash in the side of the tub. My chest was tight and I felt as though my skin was 10 sizes too small. Sweat broke out on my upper lip from the heat of the water. I felt as if I'd go mad if Theron didn’t leave instantly.

But he didn’t leave, of course. He ran a thumb across his lower lip, watching me carefully. “She was a little confused.” He said finally.

“A little old to be pure, isn’t she?”

Theron laughed out loud. “Indeed. Old enough to be your mother, I suppose. But in any case, she was a little confused as to why she did not get to know your cock.”

“She and her mouth knew my cock very well, Sire.” I had to bite back the cynicism that threatened to color my words. “She wanted me to fuck her so I did.”

“But not with your cock.”

Bile rose in my throat. “Sire, if you please, I’m tired, and-“

“Why didn’t you fuck her, Rook?”

I exhaled heavily, rising out of the tub and meeting his eyes. “Why do you care?”

He raised an eyebrow. “I beg your pardon?”

“I asked, why do you care? She paid you handsomely, I made her come so hard she tore shreds into your fine silk sheets. I ask again,Sire, why you care so much that I didn’t impale her with my cock.”

His eyes flamed. “You are tasked to keep the visiting ladies to this court happy, Rook.”

“I am tasked with whoring myself out to sate their curiosity.”

Theron slammed a hand into the window sill. We both stood still, venomous gazes fixed on each other. If he wanted to kill me, right now, he could. I was naked in a bath and totally at his mercy. There was less than nothing I could do.

Then that cruel grin snaked across his face, his green eyes glittering in the dim light of the lamp overhead. “I have business for you to attend to, in the Lowlands. You leave in the morning.”

I gritted my teeth. “What kind of business?”

“Business.” He took a step towards me. “You would do well not to question me, my friend. You know I have a tremendous amount of respect for you. But do not test the limits of that respect. When I hand you a task, I expect you to honor that task and fulfill it asIsee fit. A rogue Night Demon who will not do as he’s told is no good to me.”

“Are you saying I’m replaceable?”