Page 76

All magic felt dark to me. Thus far, I had seen no good come from it.

She went on, “You and I are not the only things out here.” She bit her lip in consideration, as though not sure she should share more. “I do not know how you would fare against her.”

Her.

“Her?” I asked.

Thora nodded. “The huldra. These are her woods, too. She has never bothered with me, and I have never bothered her. We stick to our corners. Give each other space. But you... I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I don’t know how she would react when confronting a dragon.”

I flinched. Were we just going ahead and calling me that now? Was there no hesitation? No further conversation?

“Still don’t think you’re a dragon?” she asked, reading my reaction with narrowing eyes.

“Like you said, it’s a complicated thing.”

I didn’t knowhowI’d turned into a dragon. I didn’t know if it would happen again. I didn’t know how I even turnedbackinto a human. I had just gone to sleep in a barn and woken up my old self. Ididknow I had no control over any of it. It was not a weapon I could wield.Complicatedseemed a far too gentle euphemism for all that.

She chuckled lightly. “That it is. And recognizing such already makes you smarter than a lot of witches I used to know.”

Used to know.Was that because they were gone? Or because she had made herself...gone?

I had the uncanny sensation that I was looking in a mirror, that I was seeing myself in this wretched woman who lived in miserable isolation and recounted people long gone from her life.

“I’m not a witch, though,” I countered.

“No,” she mused. “You’re something else.” She sniffed then and shook her head. “And they’re not witches either. Not anymore. They’re dead, so that makes them... nothing.” This she uttered so matter-of-factly, as though she were long accustomed to the condition of her friends and family being dead.

I wassomething else. Yes. That was true.

The way heat swam beneath my skin still... even now, like a serpent beneath water, gliding, searching for the right moment to emerge, I was still that. I was not free from it. It was not gone. The dragon was still here. It went deep. Like the roots of a tree. A disease that coursed through bone and blood to the meat of me. Now that it had been unleashed, I could recognize it. Feel it throbbing inside me like the beat of music.

“You should proceed with caution out there. Head east. It’s the quickest way out of the skog.”

I didn’t want to go east. I wanted to go north. Directly north, into the Crags. That mysterious and formidable place that called to me. Terrified me. Thrilled me. I could still recall those peaks breaking through the clouds.

Answers were north... where dragons once lived. They certainly wouldn’t be found back in the City. That place dealt in many things, I now realized, except the truth. And there weren’t any answers here with Thora, who didn’t want me around. And they absolutely were not with Fell or his people. If I ever turned in front of them, they would kill me on sight. They would not stop and ask questions. Not that I could answer them when I was in dragon form anyway. I could expect no mercy from a people with a history steeped in dragon slaying.

Thora shrugged as though she knew I had plans counter to her advice. “But you will do what you must.”

I nodded. Yes. I would.

My fate waited in the north.

My palm buzzed. That flicker of another life, of Fell... left behind, but not behind, not ever behind as long as I could feel this connection, this echo of him.

I knotted my hand into a fist, trying to crush it, to banish the sensation just as he was banished from me. Husband or not, married or not, we could never pick up where we left off. Never live as husband and wife. I would have to forget about him. That door had closed with a slam the moment I tasted fire. The moment I felt the wind on my face.

I glanced to Thora. She had done it. She had forgotten about everyone. The entire world ceased to exist for her. She was strong. She had carved out this life for herself here. Alone.

If that was what I had to do, I could do it, too.

“Come,” she said, pushing up from the table. “I won’t send you away empty-handed. Let’s pack you a few things for your journey. I have a compass you can have. You’ll find it useful. The forest can get dark. At times it’s hard to tell north from south. And you’ll need to dress warmly. Oh.” She looked back at me as though seized with a sudden thought. “When you’re out there, you may need these, too.” She walked to a nearby shelf and removed something from it. As she offered them to me, I could see they were several strips of leather.

I turned them over in my hand, unable to imagine their use. “Why do I need—”

“I just have a feeling you may need them. They’re sturdy.”

Afeelingshe had. That was good enough for me. I supposed when a blood witch said she had afeelingabout something, heed should be taken. She had not led me astray so far.