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He nodded, his eyes flat. His skin was ice-cold, and the hand on my neck, where the bite mark would be, was steady. The arm around me was firm, but a storm of violence brewed beneath the surface when he got this still.

“Sera?”

I opened my mouth to answer but couldn’t get any words out. Not even a denial. It didn’t make sense. This was a dream. I could say anything. I could lie. I could tell the truth—one that wasn’t all that bad. Right? So many people had experienced worse than I had. The man I looked at, the one my mind had called forth from memories, had. But the thing crawling up my throat now wasn’t words. It was a scream that burned me as I fought it back. I didn’t even understand why. I was dreaming. I could scream if I wanted to.

But I didn’t want to.

I didn’t want to think about any of this.

Because I was me here, and I was her there.

“Sera,” he said quietly. “Please.”

“I don’t want to dream about this.” My voice cracked. “I can barely deal with this when I’m awake.” The words tumbled out of me like the water rushing over the rocks. “I don’t want that in my dreams. I don’t want any of that near us because this is me with you. I’m here, and nothing else—”

“It’s okay, liessa.” Something cold flashed in his eyes, something feral that even sent a chill down my spine before he tugged my cheek to his chest. “It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about any of that now.” A tremor went through him then, causing my chest to hitch. He held me in silence for several moments, the hand on the back of my head tangling in the strands of my hair.

I let the feeling of his body calm the racing of my heart. His hands were cold, but the rest of him was wonderfully warm. I soaked him in because a part of me knew this could be my only chance, real or not.

“You’re so brave. Do you know that? So godsdamn brave and loyal.” His chin rested on the top of my head as he dragged a hand up my spine. “You are more than worthy of the swords and shields of the Shadowlands.”

Seraphena will be a Consort more than worthy of the swords and shields each of you will wield to guard her.

That was what he’d said before, and a new wave of tears pricked my eyes.

“There is no one like you, Sera.”

“Stop being sweet,” I murmured, not even caring that I was basically telling myself these things. Or it was my subconscious speaking them. And it made sense because, right now, I needed the pep talk.

“I’m not being sweet.” His hand made another soothing sweep across the center of my back. “I’m only telling the truth. You’re the strongest person I know.”

I smiled, snuggling closer.

“And even when you feel fear?” He managed to somehow pull me closer to him. “You’re never afraid. There is a difference, remember?”

“I remember.”

“Good.” He dipped his head, this time pressing a kiss to my temple. “There’s something I need to ask you, liessa.”

I exhaled, long and slow. “Okay.”

“Do you have access to any weapons?”

I blinked. Okay. I hadn’t expected my mind to come up with that, but I could deal with this line of questioning. “No.” I thought of what I’d found in the chest. “Well, I did find something that I managed to use as a weapon.”

“Was that when you tried to escape?”

How did he know…? He didn’t. I did. My mind was creating what he said.

“What did you find?” he asked.

My lips pursed. “I believe it was a…glass cock.”

Ash went still against me. “I’m sorry. I believe you misspoke.”

“I didn’t.” My lips twitched. “There’s a chest, and in it are a bunch of what appear to be glass cocks. I think they were…” I shook my head, my stomach twisting as I thought about what their presence signified. “I don’t even know if they’re still in the chest. I haven’t looked, but I imagine they’ve been removed.”

Ash didn’t say anything for a long moment, but then he gently guided my head back. As our gazes connected, I detected the faintest scent of stale lilacs.