Page 18
Story: 40 Ways to Catch a Bad Guy
“Ya don’t even know what my questions are.”
“You’re right. If they involve any troll matchmaking, I don’t want to know. But I’m interested in everything else.”
My laughter rang out as I said goodbye.
Chapter Six
The troll whisperer’s real name was Jayesh. He answered to Jay for those he thought were too lazy to use his proper name.
Jayesh was a paranormal linguist and a naga. Unlike Hisser, who was a full snake shifter, a naga always shifted into a hybrid form. Their top half stayed human except for their long, forked tongues and slitted eyes, while their bottom half transformed into a gigantic serpent with massive coils they used to support themselves when slithering or rising to face their foes.
Today, Jayesh looked no different from the rest of us, except for the seven earrings he wore in one ear, the face chain running from his nose to his eyebrow and the whitest natural smile I’d ever seen in my life. The feathers near his ears spoke to his youth, but youth to a naga meant he was less than a millennium old.
“So what’s the miserable troll’s deal?” I asked.
Jayesh spread his hands. “Your troll’s name is Bo. A female troll recently chose him as her primary male. She broke things off before they sealed the deal because he brought no courting gifts that pleased her. He thinks her parents spoiled her but still wants to mate with her. I’m paraphrasing for your benefit. It’s hard to translate troll culture into human terms.”
“No, I get it. His female thinks she can do better than him. I’ve had to take down a whole mated group at once so I know how they work. Being chosen as a primary male is averybig deal. They’re the badass in the relationship and in everyone’s eyes.”
Jayesh smiled at me as he nodded. “I see you know trolls.”
I nodded and thought of the tiger cats at the animal breeder’s lair—the tiger cats Ben intended to put down. Trolls highly prized tiger cats as functional pets. Once properly trained, tiger cats assisted in hunts and kept smaller animals from invading their lairs. The cats could also assist when committing crimes though I didn’t see this easily depressed fellow striking out in that direction. Bo seemed more like the home and family type given how hard he’d taken his female’s rejection.
I turned to Jayesh. “Bo is not criminally inclined. I don’t think he needs to be behind bars.”
Jayesh lifted his hands in the air. “I agree, but our orders are to collect and hold him.”
“Take him. That way, I’ll know where he is. Would it change Bo’s situation if he had a tiger cat to give to his future bride?”
Jayesh laughed. “Do you know where one is running around without an owner?”
I smiled at his amusement. “I know where there’s a bunch of them. An animal breeder has been allowing his creations to hunt and eat human domestic animals so he’s losing them anyway. Right now, the plan is for the tiger cats to be put down. That seems a waste of bargaining material when they could help Bo win his true love.”
Jayesh burst out laughing. “If Bo were to show up with a tiger cat as a gift, she’d be shocked. Courting gifts are usually a half-eaten squirrel or a handful of mushrooms. Sometimes it’s a pretty rock. With a tiger cat, Bo could get any female he wanted. It might raise his standards.”
“How about if he had five of them? I think I remember seeing five.”
A snickering Jayesh tugged on his earring-free earlobe. “Bo could gift her one or two, and trade the others. What he gets for them could pay for a very nice lair. Five tiger cats for Bo would be equal to a human winning a million-dollar lottery. What do you want from him in return?”
I grinned at him. “I want to not worry about orphaned tiger cats eating human pets or naked trolls with appallingly large man parts frightening the people of Salem. Bo should get mated as soon as possible. He needs something productive to do with what he’s hiding beneath his loincloth.”
Jayesh lowered his head and laughed without restraint. “You are nothing like what I was led to believe.”
I shrugged. “Oh, I’m probably worse than ya heard, Jayesh, but not with this troll. This can be one of Ben’s win-win scenarios if ya’re successful. I don’t like killing mutated animals unless it’s necessary. Talk to Bo for me, will ya? Tell him I’ll see him soon with some tiger cats.”
“Do you want a long-term deal with him, Aran? Or is this a one-time situation?”
I pondered the possibility of having someone willing to take future tiger cats off my hands. That would solve a lot. “Long-term makes sense if Bo is willing. He’d have to let me know where he lives so I could drop future ones off.”
“I can teach him basic language skills for human speech. He’ll be able to communicate with you but only a little.”
“So long as Bo’s not issuing threats and trying to beat me with a club, we’ll manage.”
Jayesh smiled at me. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Aran of The Dagda. I’m happy we found a mutually beneficial solution to our good friend, Bo.”
I basked in his approval. In our kind of work, it was likely temporary. I’d be making him mad one day. “Remember this moment when I make ya mad, Jayesh.”
Jayesh grinned and headed back to Bo. Instead of getting into the front seat with the brawn Ben had hired, Jayesh climbed into the back of the collection van with a handcuffed Bo.
Table of Contents
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