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Conn grinned as he kept reading. “Those interviewed reported that his troll manhood hung to just above his knee and danced around when he laughed.”

Like every other male, Rasmus chuckled at the idea of someone with a bigger part than he possessed. It figured that the one subject he found amusing was the same thing that would set a twelve-year-old laughing.

I looked away from Rasmus to Mulan. “The report probably says penis, but ya’ll never hear Conn using the term. He tells me it does not do justice to his impressive male appendage. I paid no proper attention to any of his appendages, but you might understand why he feels that way.”

Mulan grunted and crossed her arms. “Massive troll penis only impressive to troll females. Perhaps naked troll is seeking mate. Maybe he use dancing penis like fishermen use lure.”

I blinked at her. That was quite the analogy. “Ya could be right, Mulan. If there’s a video of his dancing penis, maybe we could upload it to a paranormal dating site and see if anyone swipes on him. We’d be doing him a favor. Right?”

Mulan giggled at my teasing and Conn grinned at us for acting silly. He never got offended by my teasing. Whatever manly skills he possessed as a lover provided him with rock-solid confidence. I could respect that kind of arrogance in males I liked. I had a healthy amount of it myself. Aging had shaved a bit of mine off, but I still could hold my own with haughty baristas who assumed I was too short to attract good-looking men.

Wait until the barista got a look at my new boy toy. She hadn’t seen Rasmus in this incarnation. She might spit in my coffee when I preened but it would be worth it to me. At my age, I needed the ego boost of knowing other women envied me for the man sharing my bed.

Unfortunately, my new lover didn’t laugh at my dating joke. Moments like this were going to make me miss the forgetful, more human version of Rasmus, but I could never admit that without Orlin saying he told me so. Rasmus had a better sense of humor back when he hadn’t remembered his goal of treating our relationship as a science experiment.

Mulan was right—no male was perfect. None of the Rasmus versions had been. I’d have to deal with him as he was now because I’d kept him up all night as well. Neither of us had gotten all we wanted from the other. Learning what it was like to share magick with another magickal had ruined sex with human males forever.

Ezra’s vow that he’d learned how to pleasure a woman without failing her hadn’t even tempted me. It might have before I’d slept with Rasmus, but now the fairy would never get a second chance.

My mouth quirked at my hedonistic reasoning. The best thing about being older was that I felt no guilt at all for thinking that way. I still didn’t know why he’d disappeared the morning after we’d been together... or if he would do it again. Given Orlin being a fixture in both our lives, I expected it inevitable that he would.

I also didn’t know if Rasmus could change back to his original guardian form now. All I knew was that Rasmus didn’t want to leave me because both of us were anticipating a repeat.

Making me sleep with him last night had told me more than any words would have about how much he wanted to be part of my life. Celibacy had been hard on both of us. Arrogance was his default setting and maybe mine as well. His neediness made us even where lust was concerned.

Even understanding him better after our intimacy, I still braced myself to hear something ridiculous when Rasmus made a thoughtful sound in his throat. Conn and Mulan gave him full attention too. The guardian bored none of us with his serious concerns, but it was beyond me not to tease him about being that way.

“I didn’t know dating organizations existed for supernatural species. Plus, trolls don’t strike me as bright enough to use technology. Do you honestly think posting a naked video of him would work to interest potential troll females?”

Unable to control myself, I sighed in great disappointment. Mulan and Conn laughed openly and loudly at Rasmus and his question. This sort of scenario was going to be a dynamic of our relationship. His lack of humor left the moment he remembered who he was. But mine had gone nowhere—except maybe down the toilet.

“Ya’re right as usual, Rasmus. A dating app probably wouldn’t work for trolls. I guess we’ll just have to take out an ad in the newspaper like humans sometimes do to meet each other. Will ya help me with the wording of it?”

Rasmus blinked at my request. He looked at Conn and Mulan who were laughing even harder now. He watched them for a couple of minutes before finally putting it together. “You’re joking about the troll using a dating site,” he concluded.

I rolled my eyes. How could I be lusting for this humorless man? It had to be the challenge he presented to me. Or maybe it was the way he kept waking me up all night. Great sex had to be why I put up with him.

My sigh was louder than the laughter in the room, but I didn’t berate him. “Mulan’s probably right but troll females are in short supply. Only one in seven troll children is born female. Females grow up to be polyamorous so males have to work hard to prove themselves. The first male that a female mates with keeps his primary position in the group for the duration of their relationship...oruntil he has an unfortunate accident at her hands.”

“Why would she kill him?”

I shrugged. “For the usual reasons a female ousts a male from her life, I imagine. Female trolls create harems of three to five males. From centuries of studies, we’ve discovered a female will have at least one child with each male in the group. Trolls may seem unintelligent but they’re not. They just take a simpler approach to life.”

Rasmus looked very interested in how much I knew. “I haven’t worked closely with trolls but brethren assigned to them have shared stories. Trolls descended from other branches of the human species.”

I shrugged. “I wish I could say the same about not working closely with trolls. The one Orlin or one of yer brethren paid to harass us when ya first returned is typical of his kind. Trolls yell as loudly as they can, wield giant clubs, and can break a human in two with brutal strength alone. I wasn’t joking about how impressive it was that ya could knock one into submission with yer fists, Rasmus. Brute force rarely works on them.”

I ignored his grin and moved my gaze to Conn.

“So let’s recap. We have to catch three trolls, a far darrig, and return Hisser to jail before he kills me. All that work ought to keep the lights on at the compound for a couple of months.”

“Hisser needs to die, Aran. There can be no more mercy for him. That snake shifter has lost complete touch with his humanity. Hisser is a perfect example of what happens when a shifter doesn’t shift to human enough. It’s why demons don’t fight staying human most of the time. They value the mental health of both forms. Hisser values nothing except controlling his delusional followers. Rehabilitation is not possible for a creature who sees himself as a god.”

Nodding, because I knew Conn was right, I thought about how I would feel about ending the rogue snake shifter’s life. If death was the only way to stop him, then I wouldn’t hesitate to take his life. Hisser would think nothing of ending mine.

Conn spread the assignments we talked about taking on the table. “Sign the ones we want to do, and I’ll send photos of them to Ben. We can deliver the originals with the first troll we catch and get copies for our records then. I’ll add the jobs to our accounting once the fees get contracted.”

“Tell Ben to split the payments into fourths. It’s only fair.”