Kenna

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Kingsley moved to stand beside her, and Kenna crossed her arms to avoid touching him. They wouldn't be here, waiting to see what crimes her dad committed to put him on death row at the state prison if Kingsley had told her the truth from the beginning.

As quickly as she'd lost her mom and dad when she was twelve years old, she'd just as quickly gained the Stafford men in her life. Kingsley rode in on his motorcycle and declared he'd protect her. Zane had promised the same thing to her younger sister, River.

River had gotten over Zane's part in lying to her for all those years, but Kenna refused to deal with Kingsley.

He had years to tell her the truth. How many times had she sworn her dad was alive somewhere and Kingsley had shot the idea down, telling her he was dead?

Their whole relationship was a lie.

"Turn on the computer," said Zane.

Kingsley went around the desk to the back wall where the computer sat, pushed the button, entered the password, and waited for it to load. The hum of the computer stopped.

"Ready." Kingsley swept his hair back. "What am I doing?"

"Look up the name Burt Shay," said Zane.

Kenna moved toward Kingsley to see the monitor, but she looked at Zane. "Is that my dad's real name?"

Zane nodded.

River joined her as Kingsley scrolled through the results. There were hundreds of pages. She couldn't focus on the words. Kingsley went too fast.

His broad shoulders tensed. She leaned closer.

Murder. Brutal. Massacre.

"Oh. My. God." Her stomach rolled.

She covered her mouth. That couldn't be right.

Kingsley turned in the chair and met Zane's gaze. "I think that's enough for right now." He turned off the monitor. "Let's take baby steps."

"No." Kenna lurched forward, trying to reach past him to turn the computer back on. "I want to read what it said."

He held her against his chest and backed her away from the desk, away from the truth. "Slow down."

Kenna struggled in Kingsley's strong arms, her breath coming in short, panicked gasps. "I need to know," she insisted. "I deserve to know the truth about my father."

River stepped closer, placing a comforting hand on her sister's back. "Kenna, maybe it's better if we take a moment to process this. We can look at it together, but let's just...catch our breath."

Kingsley's jaw clenched, every muscle in his body taut with tension. She wanted to push past him and look for herself. She'd imagined every possible scenario through the years when nobody believed her that her dad was alive.

She understood the headlines and could imagine the horrific details beneath them. But she needed to know what her father was living through when she was shuffled around in the foster care system, being told he was dead.

"Kenna, we'll go through everything," Kingsley said softly. "But we need to keep our heads. What you're going to read can't be unseen. You need to take more than two seconds to decide if it's in your best interest to know more or if you want to walk away and put it behind you. You need to talk with your sister and see if this is something she wants to—"

"I do," said River, squeezing her sister's hand in solidarity.

Kingsley nodded in agreement, his grip on Kenna loosening slightly. He'd already kept the truth about her dad from her. She wasn't going to let him do that to her again.

"You're not alone in this." He rubbed Kenna's back. "Whatever happens next, you have your sister and us."

With a shuddering breath, Kenna stopped struggling and leaned into Kingsley's embrace. "I just want to know."

He leaned down to push the button on the computer tower.

"Wait." Kenna turned to River, grabbing her arms. "You don't have to stay here."

She'd always tried to protect River. How many times had she tried to convince her that her dad wasn't dead and there was no reason to be sad?

Growing up, she pretended he was on a business trip or got lost in another country while on vacation. Not once had she imagined him on death row.

She even excused Zane and Kingsley's need to watch over them as something her father would've wanted. He would've made sure they remained safe if he wasn't around.

"I'm not leaving you," whispered River. "You tried to tell me he was alive, and I didn't believe you."

Now was not the time to discuss how alone she felt, fighting for something no one believed in and how there were moments, long moments, when she questioned what family meant to her.

It was hard enough to understand what she had overheard and how she'd concluded that her dad was alive.

She shook her head and squeezed her sister's hand. "It's going to be bad."

There was no sugarcoating what happened to their dad. He was waiting for the state to kill him for crimes he committed.

Together, hand in hand, they walked over to the computer.

Kingsley moved out of the chair and motioned for her to sit. Zane brought over another chair and set it in front of the monitor for River. The two brothers stood behind them, silently supporting them while close enough to read over their shoulders.

As far as she knew, they had no idea of the crimes their dad committed, only that he'd remained on death row the entire time they were protecting her and River. She grabbed the mouse and clicked on the first Google result. A news article from Idaho Statesman newspaper.

Three days ago, forty-five year old Burt Shay entered Lehman's Mart & Gas with two automatic weapons, killing Mitch Bellow, Aaron Dixon, Shaun DeFrees, and Roy Fine. This horrific crime occurred precisely nine months after another grizzly murder outside the same business involving Shay's common-law wife.

"I didn't know Mom was murdered," whispered River.

Kenna looked away from the monitor. "What did you think happened?"

"I don't—an accident." River met her gaze. "Dad said there was an accident. I thought it was a car accident."

"I remember what he told us." Kenna inhaled a trembling breath. "I overheard him on the phone later that same night. I think he was talking to the police, and he'd gotten angry, demanding answers about why they weren't looking for the person responsible for killing his wife."

River closed her eyes, shaking her head. Kenna glanced at Kingsley. His dark gaze locked onto her, silently questioning her. She'd never told him that information because it hurt too much to replay that day in her head.

Turning back to the monitor, she scrolled online, looking for a later entry. Finding the jury's ruling, she opened the page.

The twelve jurors voted unanimously. Burt Shay was found guilty of four counts of capital murder, which carried the death penalty.

She stood and walked away from the monitor. "He wouldn't kill someone—four men, for nothing. They had to have done something to him."

River sniffed. "Maybe he went crazy after mom was killed. Maybe raising two daughters on his own, since mom was always the one who handled getting us to school and watching us when we were home, was too much for him."

Kenna turned around and looked at Kingsley. "Did they ever find my mom's killer?"

"I don't know, but I can look." He moved around the chair and sat in her place, typing on the keyboard. “What was her full name?”

“Louanne Pruitt,” said Kenna and River at the same time.

As quickly as the name came, she shook her head. “Try that one and Louanne Shay.”

River frowned. She shrugged. At this point, they had no idea what her parents' real names were.

She paced the office, unable to sit down. To her, her father would never be a killer.

Not the dad she remembered. He adored her mom. In the evenings, she often watched her mom sit on her dad's lap in front of the television. They never paid attention to her or the TV. They'd talk quietly, whispering in each other's ears. Her mom would smile, smothering her laughter behind her hand, while her dad's hand liked to pat her mom's hip. But she could tell by how he rocked the recliner that he was happy.

"I'm not finding anything except the reference that Burt Shay's common-law wife was killed outside the gas station,” said Kingsley.

“Look for a murder in St. Maries without using a name." Zane hugged River from behind. “For whatever reason, Burt Shay could’ve given his family new names. River and Kenna could be aliases he gave to the state.”

"Those are our names. I don't remember any others," said Kenna.

“Could he have done that?” asked River. “Birth certificates and everything?”

“Anything is possible.” Zane’s voice hardened. “At this point, we must accept that anything could’ve happened as we unravel the mess.”

“Neither name shows anything.” Kingsley swiveled in the chair and met Kenna’s gaze. “Let’s take a break and get something to eat.”

She followed everyone out of the office and into the clubhouse. The music, loud conversations, and general hum of the room made it feel as if she was walking in a dream. She couldn’t make sense of what was happening around her.

Outside, silence cloaked them.

Zane and River headed toward his motorcycle. Kenna walked straight, heading toward the bar.

“Hey.” Kingsley motioned her toward his Harley. “You can ride with—”

“I’ll walk.” She kept going, not giving him a choice.

It'd only take her a few minutes to walk down the hill. She wasn't in the mood to be close to Kingsley. When he was around, it muddled her thinking. She had a hard enough time as it was trying to make sense of her life.

She questioned her parents, who she was, and even her sister. All the years she'd spent separated from River had strained their relationship. Or maybe growing up had added an additional hurdle she'd have to climb over to feel the same security that she once had with River.

Maybe she'd never gain that closeness back.

Maybe too much had happened for her to return.

Trusting others would never be easy for her. Foster parents, social workers, and Kingsley had lied to her.

The rumble of the motorcycle deafened her to her thoughts. Kingsley pulled up beside her, cut the engine, and let his bike roll down the hill, keeping the machine beside her.

Ahead of them, Zane had already parked and stood with River outside the bar. She dropped her gaze to the ground, watching her step.

"Are you okay?"

Of course, she wasn't okay. Everything she knew was a lie, and her parents weren't there to make it right again. She had a hard time accepting what she read online. It felt a lot like it was happening to someone else.

"I'm fine." She continued walking.

"We need to talk." He let the bike roll ahead and stopped in her path. "Later. Tonight. Leave your bedroom unlocked."

"There's nothing to talk about." She walked around him.

He rolled after her. "I know I hurt you."

She scoffed. "You were my person."

"I know."

Before she reached her sister and Zane, she glanced at him. "I just want to eat, sleep, and forget about today."

Kingsley inhaled deeply and nodded. She squared her shoulders to hide how much it hurt that he'd accept her pushing him away so easily. Yet, if he fought for her, she'd still walk away.

She had a hard time forgiving people.

Her dad was her hero. For the last nine years, he was alive and hadn't wanted her to see him. He rather have her believe he was dead.

When a parent makes that big of a decision to hurt their child, what was she supposed to think?

If her Dad couldn't love her enough to stay in her life, how could she expect Kingsley to love her?