Page 12

Chapter 12

Yoshi

“ D id you seriously just create a new law on the spot? Without asking your father, the Daimyo ? And, oh yeah, in front of the Emperor himself?” Kaneko hadn’t stopped pacing my chamber since we returned to the castle. Whether he was excited by our passing the first Trial or merely possessed the pent-up energy of a caged tiger, I wasn’t sure.

“I did what felt right,” I said simply.

“What you thought was right?” His arms flailed in the air. “We were tasked with the fate of a thief, and you thought it was right to establish an entirely new law to guard against hunger and famine? To tax the farmers to feed the poor?”

When he said it aloud it did sound rather, well, far-reaching.

“I guess I didn’t really think of it like that,” I admitted, flopping down onto my bedroll.

“You were amazing , Yosh.” Kaneko threw himself down beside me, his frenetic energy somehow rising to a new level. “You took charge but let each of us have a voice. You listened and considered, then decided. When faced with the Emperor’s own voice, you didn’t lose yours. Gods, I know grown Samurai who would’ve pissed themselves had the Emperor even looked in their direction. If he spoke to them, their hearts might’ve stopped.”

“I didn’t really think about it.”

“You what?” Kaneko’s eyes bugged comically. “The Divine Ruler of the whole fucking Empire, the Son of Heaven who never speaks directly to anyone, asks for your judgement, and you didn’t think about it?”

“Um, no. Not really, I guess.”Kaneko burst out laughing and fell back on the bed. “Only you, Anzu Yoshi. Only you.”

I let myself fall back to land beside him and stare up at the ceiling. The intricate carving of the white-painted planks always comforted me as a boy, helped me sleep and dream. Only then did I realize our shoulders were pressed into each other. The back of his hand bumped into mine, and I swore his fingers rubbed gently, teasing my skin with an affection I’d never felt.

Suddenly, all my questions about thieves or judgements or laws fled through the window, free on the clouds where they would likely not enter my mind again.

At least, not until I’d dealt with the Kaneko problem.

Is Kaneko a problem? I asked myself.

I loved his shoulder pressing against me, feeling his presence intrude on my space, tasting his breath as—

“Oh, gods, what are you doing?” I pulled back as his lips came within a hair’s width of mine.

“Yoshi,” he said, his voice barely a whisper and huskier than a spice addict sucking a pipe. “I know you feel this.”

“Feel what? Kaneko, what—”

This time, with my back pressed against the bed, he lurched forward and I had nowhere to run. Our lips pressed together, so tender, so tentative. Then hunger overrode fear, longing suppressed doubts, and Kaneko’s tongue found purchase in my mouth.

I couldn’t think. I didn’t want to. All I wanted was to wrap my arms around—oh, hells. Kaneko had wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. Our chests pressed together, and he squeezed me with all the strength he possessed. He was far stronger, so resisting was useless, assuming I’d wanted to resist, which I hadn’t . . . and didn’t . . . and never would.

Kaneko filled my room.

Hells, he filled my world.

His eyes, pools of liquid oak flecked with gold, drew me in and held me captive. I closed my own eyes and dreamed of his hair falling across his forehead, how his skin glistened in the sun, how its rich, dark tone made me want to lick and bite and—

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long,” he breathed.

And whatever resistance I had left vanished.

“Kaneko, I—”

He pressed a finger to my lips. “Please, don’t say we can’t do this. Please. Yosh, I’m . . . I can’t stop thinking about you. And I don’t mean to spar or whatever. I mean for this.” He motioned with a hand between us. “I want to be with you, Yoshi, to know you, to feel you. Hell, I want to taste you.”

“Kaneko!”

“Give yourself to me, Yoshi. Let me be more than just some friend—”

“You’ve never been just anything . . .” I said with far more heat than I’d intended. His eyes flared wide as I schooled myself. “Kaneko, you have always been . . . more. I don’t know why or what any of it means. I don’t know what we should do, what is right, but—”

“But you want me,” he said, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

“Fuck you,” I said, desperate to not return his grin, and failing. “Fine. I want you. Damnation, I want all of you, Kaneko. I want you so badly it hurts, so badly my gut churns and aches when you aren’t around. I want—”

Lips smashing together quelled whatever else I wanted.

In that moment, I clearly wanted his kiss more than conversation.

Arms and legs wrapped around and through and over and under, neither of us finding a comfortable way to lie on or beside or beneath the other, neither of us willing to release our lips long enough to figure out a better solution. At some point, Kaneko’s hands found the crease in my kimono , and he began untying my waistband.

I gripped his wrists. “Kaneko, we shouldn’t—”

He kissed me again, and I forgot my words. “Let me have you, Yoshi, all of you.”

With the last ounce of my strength, I pressed my palms to his chest and gently pushed him back. “I want to give you everything, Kaneko—I truly do—but not here, not in this castle where Mother or Father might barge in. Not with a Trial hanging over our heads and our futures so uncertain. When I give myself to you, I want moonlight and sake and everything to be perfect.”

His smile was the light of every star that ever shone in the heavens. His hand reached out and brushed my hair, so gently I barely felt his touch.

So gently I felt it in my soul.

“When the time is right, we will become one. I swear this to you, Anzu Yoshi- sama , son of Anzu Hiroki Daimyo . By the gods and the Divine Lord, I swear this to you.”

I stared into his eyes and saw every future the world could ever know. I saw his smile, heard his laughter, felt his touch, and tasted the salt of his tears. I knew, in that one moment, that our lives had just changed and would never—could never—be the same.

And I could barely contain my heart’s joy.