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“Archie Colt? I always thought you were Boone Holt’s little brother.

” He’s likely saying that because my boys and the Holt boys are close.

Especially the youngest two. In fact, there’ve been a couple of times while working the french fry booth at the farmer’s market that I’ve mistaken Tyson, the youngest Holt, for Archie, too.

I nod and smile, sensing Archie and Tanner’s gazes moving between me and Dean.

“Yeah, well, the Holt boys are almost exactly the same age as my boys. As you’re aware, their oldest, Boone, just graduated and now my oldest, Rawley, is a junior.

And Rex, their middle boy, is a sophomore like Tanner, and their youngest Tyson is just a year older than Archie.

And those two,” I continue, suddenly feeling like I’m talking too much or too loudly as nerves bead in the form of sweat all along my neck.

“Tyson and Archie spend a lot of time together, so if you saw Archie with the Holt’s or chasing Boone, it’s because the Holt and Colt boys are friends. Have been forever.”

He scratches the side of his head, causing his hat to tip to the side just slightly. Tanner reaches up and affectionately and playfully bonks it back down into place. “Same ages, similar last names, that could be confusing,” he says with a smile.

Something about his lopsided grin makes me grin back.

“And this is my mom,” Tanner says, jokingly, as if we stole the opportunity from him to introduce us.

Dean’s hand juts out, and I glance at it a moment before sliding my hand into his.

It’s so big, and the way he squeezes with force and gentle ease as we shake makes that flutter in my belly come to life again.

“Clara June,” I tell him, a rush of insecurity hitting me as a family brushes past. The mother, her auburn hair styled in a sleek ponytail, nails painted white on the tips, winks at Dean.

“Good game, Coach,” she says, eyeing him over her shoulder before she eyes me next.

It’s only a split second, but it’s enough to make me feel… insecure.

Tanner plays ball, but I’m not the involved mom who watches practices and chats with all the other moms about fundraisers for new pads and new stadium lights.

I don’t chat up the coach in hopes of being invited to the team cookout, and I don’t join their private chat groups on social media to discuss “our boys” the way the other moms and dads do.

I just can’t. I have to work. And I have to work a lot.

When my eyes slide back to his, part of me thinks they never left me. He’s studying me, my eyes, or maybe the liner spilled beneath them from a long day in a crowded restaurant, or maybe the crows feet that have taken up space from years of stress and exhaustion.

“Dean McAllister,” he says, and I realize then that we’re still shaking hands.

I must realize it just when he does, and Tanner, too, because we both pull our hands back.

I cradle one hand with the other, in front of me, and smile up at him, trying my best to hide the strange nervousness that suddenly and strangely hit me.

“I’ve heard nothing but good things about you, Coach.

And I know Tanner is ready to lead this season.

” Archie sticks his hand in my pocket, fishing around for a stick of gum.

He pulls out a pen, and my waitressing pad.

“No gum?” he asks, blinking up at me as he places both of his boots on one of my feet.

Dean shoves his hand into his pocket, producing a box of TicTacs. His eyebrows raise as he holds the box up, meeting my eyes, silently asking me if it’s okay. I nod.

Archie sticks his hand out and Dean fills his palm with mints.

“Thank you,” Archie tells him. A group of sweaty football players bump into me from behind, pushing me into Dean’s chest just as they tackle Tanner to the ground.

They’re whooping, laughing, and wrestling, and I’m stepping back from the wall of muscle and cologne, apologizing.

“I’m so sorry about that,” I tell him, grabbing Archie's hand so he doesn’t get pulled into the playful tussle.

Dean whistles, and the boys halt, Tanner clambering to his feet, out of breath. “Y’all know you knocked into Tanner’s mom, so get up here and apologize.”

Three boys get to their feet, bring their hands in front of them, and one by one, they apologize. Even Tanner.

I glance up at Dean, who’s still eyeing me.

Awkwardly, I turn to Tanner. “Archie and I are heading home. You want us to wait around, and give you a ride?”

He shakes his head, hooking a thumb over his shoulder, toward the cluster of boys. “We’re going for pizza, then we’re gonna play Call of Duty at Jason’s house.”

I press my finger to his chest. “No later than midnight.”

He nods, then kisses my cheek before fist bumping an impatient and ready to leave Archie. “Thanks mom. Love you.”

“Love you, too,” I say, but by the time too has left my mouth, Tanner’s back is to us and he’s drifting off with his friends, happy as ever.

I look up to see if Dean is still there, and he is. And he’s still looking at me. Heat flashes through my veins. “It was very nice to meet you, Coach.”

He takes his hat off and places it over his heart, partially bending.

“It was lovely meeting you.” He places the cowboy hat back on his head, but not before revealing a swathe of curly, thick, reddish blonde hair.

The mustache above his lip, full but neatly trimmed, is a shade darker than his head, and I wonder, does all that curly hair span over the wide breadth of his muscular chest?

My eyes drop to the buttons on his polo a moment before I hastily turn, grabbing Archie’s hand, and tugging him along with me.

“Ain’t we gettin’ Rawley?” Archie asks, skipping along next to me while my heart beats out of control. I glance over my shoulder. Dean McAllister is speaking with a father of a player, but he catches my eyes, and sends a wink my way. I turn back, enjoying a private smile.

“Ain’t is not a word, Arch. And yes, we’re—” I stop in my tracks as Dolly Gray appears in front of me, decked from head to toe in Bluebell Bruisers gear. Her blonde hair is pulled up into a bouncing ponytail, and beneath one eye is a streak of gold, under the other, a streak of blue.

“Clara June!” she squeals, pulling me into a hug. I inhale what can only be Hudson’s cologne, and when she steps back?—

“Hi, Hudson,” I greet as he stands at her side. I look between them. “Where are the kids? ”

Dolly loops her arm around Hudson’s waist. “They’re at his sister’s. They didn’t wanna come to the game. But we’re taking Tyson back with us, to have a little sleepover with Bear.” Her eyes drop to Archie then back up to mine. “Can Archie come, too?”

Archie looks up at me with his puppy dog eyes, and I can’t say no. Bear and Tyson are his two best buds. “Can I mom?” he whimpers.

I glance up at Hudson and Dolly. “You’re sure three little boys isn’t too much?”

Dolly shakes her head. “No! We’ve got a chili bar and a s’mores bar and we rented Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles . It’s gonna be so much fun!” Hudson pulls Dolly into his chest, placing a kiss on top of her head.

“Should I go get some of his things and drop them off?” I ask, swiping my fingers through his hair just as he leaves my side to join an approaching Tyson.

Dolly waves her hand between us. “No way! Not worth the gas. We’ve got tons of jammies and stuff. Even a new toothbrush.”

After thanking them and agreeing on an eleven in the morning pick up time, I make my way toward the gate where the rest of the town is slowly filtering through, toward the gravel parking lot, when I’m stopped again.

“Clara June!” a man’s voice calls out.

I spin, finding Jake Turner, Riley Turner, Jo Jo Turner and Rawley. Jake and Riley smile as we close the gap between us. “We’re gonna go for pizza, and grab a movie at the RedBox. Thought maybe Rawley could join us? What’s his curfew?”

“Midnight,” I reply, “same as always.”

“You’re welcome to join us, Clara June,” Riley says, smiling as she loops her arm through Jake’s. I look down at my dirty uniform, and back up at them .

“Thanks for inviting me but I came straight from work. I’d love a hot bath right about now.” I look at Rawley. “Midnight, got it?” I smile at Jo Jo, who smiles back, still in her cheerleading uniform, only now wearing Rawley’s sweatshirt over the top.

“Alright, next time then. And don’t worry. We’ll make sure he gets home on time,” Jake says with a tip of his hat, a country man’s goodbye.

A few more goodbyes with Jo Jo and Riley, and before I know it, I’m back at home, locking the front door behind me.

The house is littered with dirty laundry, empty styrofoam cups, an old clamshell of takeout, school papers, miscellaneous football equipment, toy guns, gaming discs out of their cases, and dirty dishes.

With my back pressed against the front door, I let out a long sigh, kick off my shoes, and hang up my coat and purse on the rack. Friday night. All my boys are gone. The house to myself. The messy, destroyed, absolutely abhorrent house all to myself.

I chew my bottom lip, thinking of all of the things I can do.

I could clean this place up. It’s so much easier to clean with the boys gone.

Before I can decide on how lame my Friday is going to be, my purse buzzes.

Digging out my phone, I’m surprised to see a text from my friend Jackie.

Meet me for a drink. I’m lonely and bored.

Before you play the single mom card, I have a solution.

Make Rawley watch Tanner, make Tanner watch Archie, give Archie Benadryl. Boom, child care solved.

I smirk at her messages. I do in fact play the single mom card when she invites me out. Rawley and Tanner are both old enough to stay with Archie, and to stay alone. I just… don’t like going out.

Just got home from football. I’m not going out.

Where are you anyway?

Take a guess

[Photo]

Through the text message comes a photo, and I nearly gasp at what’s in frame. Though it fully was not her intention, as the photo is framed around Lassoed and Loaded’s jukebox, still, there he is.

Coach Dean. Standing at the bar with… I squint at the photo, recognizing the Bluebell athletic director, but unable to place his name.

They’re both still in blue jeans and Bruiser polos, cowboy hats on their heads, sweating bottles of beer in their hands.

In the periphery are two women wearing Daisy dukes and knee-high cowboy boots.

In a matter of seconds, the photo makes me feel hot, and excited, then sad, and lonely.

I text her back.

Lassoed and Loaded! Have fun.

Play Wheel in the Sky for me !

I stuff my phone in my pocket, and trudge down the hall, stepping over a heap of sneakers that are all tied together by the lace (why?), and push into my room. I start the bath and undress, briefly contemplating bringing my waterproof vibrator to the tub.

It’s been so long since I was able to finish. So long that I’m not even sure I can anymore, and after such a long day, I don’t want to ruin the peaceful evening alone with disappointment from my broken body.

Instead, I soak in a bath then go to bed.