Page 11

Tillie

I don’t know why I kissed Xavier. One second I was lost in the nightmare of my past, the next I knew I’d die if I didn’t taste him.

His lips were warm and firm against mine, a stark contrast to my hesitant touch.

For a moment he froze, then his hand came up to cradle the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair as he returned the kiss with gentle restraint.

I could feel him holding back, careful not to frighten me, and that tenderness made something break loose inside me. I pressed closer, deepening the kiss, desperate to feel more of him. His other arm tightened around my waist, and he groaned softly against my mouth.

When we finally broke apart, it was Xavier who ended the kiss. We were both breathing heavily and I’m sure the desire in Xavier’s eyes mirrored my own. Still, because he was the man he was, Xavier had to make sure this was what I really wanted.

“Tillie,” he whispered, his voice rough. “You don’t have to do this. Not for me. Not because you think you owe me something.”

I shook my head, cupping his face between my palms. “I’m not. I want this. I want you.”

His expression was a mixture of hope and disbelief. “You’ve been through hell today. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret when you’re thinking clearer.”

I couldn’t help but be amused. “I can’t tell you how many nights I lay in my bed by myself and dreamed you’d come to me.

I’d wake up just as you were sliding your cock inside me and want to cry in frustration.

” That made him suck in a breath, his eyes going wide.

“Yeah, Xave. Do you want to know why I’m absolutely sure this is what I want? ”

He swallowed, nervous. “I want to point out that bikers and convicts have a certain… reputation.” He looked and sounded like he was giving me a lecture, and I nearly smiled.

“While I most certainly have the necessary equipment at or above the average size, I haven’t had sex since a month and three days before I went to prison.

” I knew better than to smile, but it was getting harder and harder.

“Do not take this first time to mean I’m gonna be a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of fuck.

I might come before you the first time, but I swear by God Almighty you will come. Several times.”

That was all I could take. I burst into giggles while leaning in to kiss him again. He sighed, then let out a disgruntled grumble against my lips. “Don’t see anything so Goddamned funny.” But there was no heat in his voice.

“This is one of many reasons I know I’m absolutely making the right decision.

There was never any doubt in my mind you’d make sex good for me.

But now I’m worried I might be rushing things.

” As soon as the words left my mouth, I wished them back.

So, I put a finger in his face and gave him what I hoped was a stern look.

“But you absolutely will not go find another woman to fuck. You want to fuck, I’m all over that shit.

But it will be me. Not someone else, so forget I said I was rushing things. Seems like I’ve not moved fast enough.”

Now it was his turn to laugh. “Little bloodthirsty, baby?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. I just want things clear from the start. You said you’d never reject me for sex, and I’m OK for it to be just sex.

” I winced, shaking my head. “OK, that’s not true.

I won’t be OK with it, but I’ll still accept it.

I want you that much, Xave. I’ll take what you’re willing to give. ”

“Good,” he grunted before snaking his arms back around me.

The feeling of security was immediate. Being held tightly in this man’s arms was like nothing I’d ever experienced.

I wanted to stay with him forever, but if this was all I ever got, I’d hold it in my heart forever and smile every time I thought about it.

“Because, baby, you ain’t gettin’ just sex from me.

” His voice was low and rough, his dark eyes intense as they searched mine.

“What you’re gettin’ is everything I got to give.

All of me, for as long as you’ll have me. ”

My breath caught in my throat. “Xavier…”

“Shh.” He brushed his thumb across my bottom lip. “Let me show you what you mean to me, Tillie Girl.”

This time when our lips met, there was no hesitation from either of us.

The kiss was deeper, hungrier, filled with all the longing that had built up between us over countless Saturday visits separated by bulletproof glass.

His hands roamed across my back, pulling me impossibly closer as I melted against him.

When he rolled us over so I was beneath him, he braced himself on his forearms, careful not to crush me with his weight. “You tell me if you need me to stop, yeah? Anytime, for any reason.”

I nodded, running my hands up his muscled arms. “I will. But I won’t need to.”

He studied my face for a long moment, then slowly began kissing his way over my chin and down my neck to the swell of my breast. His lips traced a path of fire across my skin, and I arched into his touch, desperate for more.

Every careful caress erased another memory of pain, replacing it with pleasure so intense I could barely breathe.

“Xavier,” I gasped as his hand slipped under my shirt, his calloused fingers skimming along my ribs with surprising gentleness.

“I got you, baby,” he murmured against my collarbone. “Let me take care of you.”

My breath hitched as his lips slid up and down my neck, his beard creating a delicious friction against my sensitive skin. Each touch was reverent, almost worshipful, so different from anything I’d experienced before.

“Can I take this off?” Xavier murmured against my collarbone, his fingers playing with the hem of my shirt.

“Yes,” I whispered, lifting my arms to help him. “Please.” The cool air hit my skin as he pulled the fabric over my head, but any chill was immediately replaced by the heat of his gaze.

“Beautiful,” he breathed, taking in the sight of me in my simple cotton bra. His calloused fingers traced the edge of the fabric, sending shivers down my spine. “So fucking beautiful.”

I reached for his shirt, suddenly desperate to feel his skin against mine. “Need you, Xave.”

With a crooked smile, Xavier sat back on his heels and pulled his shirt off in one fluid motion.

I couldn’t help but stare at the expanse of tattooed muscle revealed to me.

My fingers itched to trace every line, every scar, every inch of him.

He was heavily muscled but not overly large. Just perfect for me.

“Like what you see?” There was a hint of vulnerability beneath his teasing grin.

“Pretty sure you know exactly how yummy you look.”

“Make no mistake about it, sweetheart. I am yummy.” His cocky, boyish grin made me laugh.

Especially when he flexed. Xavier always had the power to make me laugh, even when I’d been sad, afraid, or felt defeated.

Of course, he’d make me comfortable during intimacy.

Xavier would settle for nothing less than our first time together being absolutely perfect.

I should have felt self-conscious. I wasn’t wearing anything fancy, and my body bore the faint marks of old scars Paul had left. The way Xavier looked at me, though, made me feel like the most desirable woman on earth.

When he unhooked my bra and slid it off, I didn’t try to cover myself. Instead, I watched his face as he gazed at my breasts, the naked hunger in his expression giving me much needed courage.

Xavier lowered his head to press a reverent kiss to the slope of one breast. “Been dreaming about this for too fuckin’ long.”

His mouth closed over my nipple and I gasped, arching into the wet heat of his tongue.

I tangled my fingers in his hair, holding him to me as waves of pleasure radiated through my body.

Every gentle suck, every swirl of his tongue sent jolts of electricity straight to my core.

I couldn’t hold in my moans and whimpers and didn’t bother trying.

When he shifted his attention to my other breast, his hand slid down my stomach to the waistband of my jeans. He paused there, his eyes finding mine in silent question.

“Yes,” I whispered, lifting my hips. “Please, Xavier.”

He made quick work of the button and zipper, then eased my jeans down my legs with agonizing slowness, his fingertips trailing fire along my skin. When he tossed them aside and looked at me lying there in just my panties, the raw hunger in his expression made me tremble.

“God, Tillie,” he breathed, running his palm up my thigh. “You have no idea how fuckin’ perfect you are.”

“I’m far from perfect,” I whispered, suddenly aware of every flaw, every scar that marred my skin.

“No,” Xavier said firmly, his hand stilling on my thigh as his eyes met mine.

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dare diminish yourself.

” His voice was fierce, protective. “Every mark on your body tells the story of how strong you are. How you survived. You’re perfect to me, Tillie Girl. Every Goddamn inch of you.”

Tears pricked my eyes at the raw honesty in his voice. No one had ever spoken to me like that before. Like I was precious. Like I mattered.

“Xavier,” I breathed, reaching for him. “What did I ever do to deserve your care and protection?”

He shook his head. “You ain’t the lucky one, honey. You’re the woman who has to put up with a caveman followin’ you around like a fuckin’ puppy dog.”

Holding back my smile was impossible. “I mean” -- I shrugged -- “puppies are cute. I’m not really seeing the issue.”

His chuckle filled me like warm honey, heating me from the inside out. He kissed me then, deep and claiming, pouring all his emotion into the press of our lips and slick glide of his tongue against mine.

When he pulled back, his breathing was ragged. “I need to touch you,” he said, his voice strained. “Need to make you feel good. Will you let me?”

Instead of answering with words, I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of my panties and pushed them down. Xavier’s eyes went dark as he helped me slide them off completely, leaving me bare beneath his heated gaze.

“Christ,” he whispered reverently, his hands skimming up my calves to my thighs. “You’re gonna be the death of me, woman.”

His touch was featherlight as he slid his hands over my hips and up to my breasts.

When his thumb brushed over my nipple, I gasped and arched into his hand.

The next thing I knew, Xavier had latched onto my other nipple and was sucking at the sensitive peak with steady pulls before licking the swollen nub with the flat of his tongue.

We both groaned. I threaded my fingers through his hair and held him to me, afraid he’d change his mind and leave me like this. But Xavier’s big body trembled against mine, his skin growing slick with sweat.

“I’ve never tasted anything so fuckin’ good in my fuckin’ life.” Xavier sounded almost in awe. Like he was in the middle of the most wonderful experience he’d ever imagined and was afraid to break the spell woven around him. “Need more.”

“Yes!” I nodded my head furiously. “Definitely need more.”

Xavier slid down my body, pressing open-mouthed kisses along my stomach, my hip bones, the tops of my thighs. Each touch left me trembling, anticipation building as he settled between my legs. His broad shoulders pushed my thighs wider, and I felt completely exposed before him.

“Xavier,” I whispered, suddenly nervous.

He looked up at me from between my legs, his dark eyes intense. “I’ve got you, baby. Let me play for a bit.” As he looked up my body at me, sweat dotted my own skin. I was sure there had never been a more erotic moment in my entire life than Xavier with his mouth hovering above my pussy.

Then his mouth was on me, and coherent thought fled. The first slow stroke of his tongue had me arching off the bed with a startled cry. He chuckled against my sensitive flesh, the vibration adding to the pleasure coursing through me.

“That’s it,” he murmured, his breath hot against me. “Let me hear how good it feels.”

I couldn’t have held back if I tried. Each swirl of his tongue, each gentle suck at my clit sent waves of pleasure rippling through my body.

I clutched the sheets, then his hair, then the sheets again as I writhed beneath his skilled mouth.

The sensations he created within me were so intense it bordered on pain and, silly as it sounds, I didn’t know what to do with my hands.

When he slipped one thick finger inside me, I cried out.

It felt like I was spiraling out of control, like my body wasn’t my own.

Only Xavier held the key to pleasure like this and I was greedy for more.

But only with Xavier. I knew in my heart and soul I’d never be able to give my body willingly to another man as long as I lived.

For good or ill, I was all in with this man.

“So fucking wet for me,” he murmured, his fingers exploring my folds with gentle expertise. “Tell me what you like, baby. Tell me how to make you feel good.”

I couldn’t form coherent words as his thumb found my clit, circling it with just the right pressure. “That,” I gasped, my hips rising to meet his touch. “Oh, God! Just like that!”

Xavier watched my face intently as he slipped one thick finger inside me, then another, stretching me gently as his thumb continued its maddening circles. The dual sensation had me writhing beneath him, my hands clutching at his shoulders.

“Xavier,” I moaned, feeling the tension building inside me. “Please, I need --”

Before I could finish my plea, Xavier covered my pussy with his mouth…

And it. Was. On .