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16

KALEN

He was gone. My biggest fear had come to fruition. My mate couldn’t handle the truth of who I was. I wasn’t sure if it was the fact that I kept the secret or the secret itself that hurt him the most. But whatever the case was, he wasn’t in my arms where I desperately wanted him to be.

After Arlo drove away, my lion was uncontrollable. He wanted to run after him. I don’t know what he would have done from there. As fast as we were, he couldn’t catch a vehicle, and he sure couldn’t have stopped it. I tried to reason all of that with him, but he ignored me and started getting more and more insistent on hunting him down.

It took everything I had to keep him from shifting until the car was out of sight, but the moment it was, he did—my clothes in shreds as he bounded toward the clearing. I thought I had more time or I’d have stripped beforehand. I was pretty sure I had some clothes in the trunk, but wouldn’t know for sure until we got back. But now? Now I had a pile of rags and a pair of shoes that were no longer shoe-like waiting by my car.

My lion took off running. He ran and ran and ran, without a destination in mind. His entire focus was to go.

Every once in a while, along the way, the predatory side of him would take over and he’d hunt down an animal that was in plain sight. He killed a rabbit, a fox, and a squirrel, but didn’t take the time to sit and enjoy eating them—he just left them there. He was every bit the predator he was born to be.

Arlo didn’t understand why our mate left, how our mate couldn’t feel the connection, feel safe, feel loved. He didn’t understand humanity, not that that was a surprise. He was a lion, not a person. I tried to help him understand, only I didn’t fully get it myself. I understood the reasons it might’ve been, but what was going on deep inside my mate? Yeah, that was a mystery.

My lion being so confused by the ordeal made it difficult to gain control of him again. Every attempt was met with a power struggle, and it was wearing me out. My lion, on the other hand, appeared energized by it. If I kept going the way I had been, I’d have lost what little control I had and my lion would be roaming the streets looking for Arlo. That would not end well.

So I gave up, saving my energy and keeping an eye on our surroundings. If at any point he got too close to humans or started to do something stupid, like attempt to find our mate, then I’d have pushed back. For now, I planned to conserve my energy for when it was needed and let my beast work it out the only way he could.

The harsh reality of it was that if I stayed front and center, I wouldn’t have the control I needed when the time came to take back the reins. My beast and I were too similarly matched.

Silly me, I thought he would wear out quickly because his emotions were so strong. How wrong I was.

The moon was high in the sky when we hit a river I didn’t even recognize. I had no clue how far we’d run or if we were even in the same county. Heck, we might’ve crossed state lines.

My lion stopped to take a drink, then looked up at the sky and let out a roar of distress. It was heartbreaking and dangerous. So very dangerous. We might be king of the jungle, but humans had guns.

Stop it. You’ll get us found out. And that would not end well.

Mate.

Ours.

Find.

I know you want to find him, but we can’t. We need to give him space. Why couldn’t my lion understand that giving him space was our only chance to get him back. And obviously, I wasn’t going to give up, but being pushy when he asked me not to be wasn’t the way to go about it.

Ours.

I know, I know. But we can’t. We just have to remember that fate doesn’t make mistakes. It will all work out. If only I could believe I was telling the truth.

Because I was just there with my lion—distraught, unsure, and scared. I did want to go back, drive to my mate. I did want to tell him I loved him, ask him to forgive me, to look past our differences, the biggest one being that I wasn’t even human. But I couldn’t. That wasn’t what he wanted. That wasn’t what he needed. He needed time.

I had to be patient.

And being patient sucked.

Oh, it was a fool’s errand. I knew it at the time. Forcing him not to respond wasn’t feasible, especially when all of me wanted to find my mate, too.

As no shocker to me, my lion ignored me, instead lapping up a little more water before running again. Only, this time, when he pounced on a rabbit, he took the time to eat it. I was hoping that meant he was slowing down, being worn out, but it could’ve also just been his way of saying, “I can do what I want.” I didn’t even know anymore. He wasn’t letting me in at all.

We made our way back to the car that way—stopping for prey a few times, eating it, running some more. I wasn’t even sure how much time had passed when I was finally able to get him to give me control again. The sun hadn’t risen yet, but I had a feeling it was getting close to that time.

Back at the car, I shifted, gathering up my shredded clothes and tossing them in the trunk, where I had a spare set stowed. As a shifter, having extra clothing in random places was always a good idea. In this case, it was a hoodie and sweats. Sadly, I didn’t have any shoes—mine weren’t good for anything at this point.

I pulled on what I had and went home, completely defeated.

How could I not be?

My mate. My one true love. He wasn’t here. He was at his home or maybe somewhere else. I didn’t even know. He was scared of me, and heading straight to his cousin’s to hide was a very real possibility.

Each mile I drove had my imagination going even more wild than the one before. At one point I had my mate on a plane to Europe. All that fear dissipated when I pulled into the driveway and I saw my mate waiting for me.

At first I wasn’t sure he was here, that he was somehow a manifestation of my imagination. I blinked. He didn’t move. I blinked again. The same. And of all things, he was wearing a robe.

I picked up my hand in a small wave, and his shoulders relaxed. He was really here. In record time I was out of my car and in front of him. But then it was my time to freeze. What I wanted to do was take him into my arms and hold him close. But I knew better. He’d left me once, and I didn’t want to give him a reason to do so again. All the balls were in his court.

“You changed.” He didn’t meet my eyes.

“No, I haven’t. I’ve always been me. My li— other side doesn’t change the man you know. I’m still me.”

He gave a forced chuckle. “No, I mean your clothes. They’re different.”

My clothes. He meant my clothing. Of course I jumped to the wrong conclusion.

“Yeah, well, I had a hard time keeping my other half inside after… after. The other clothes were kind of ruined.”

“Oh.” He looked down at the ground. “Because of me.”

“No. It was because of me.”

I stood there, letting the silence grow between us—not wanting to push, but at the same time, wanting to hold him.

“I…” He was so hesitant. “Can we go in? I have some things to say.”

His tone was unreadable. Were they going to be good things? Bad things? I opened the door, and we went inside. He waited until the door was closed between us to speak.

“I… I feel it. I do,” he said. “I don’t know why I was scared, but I’m not scared anymore. I want you.”

“I want you.” I took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

He exhaled. “No. I mean… I want this. I want you. All of you. For as long as I can possibly see. I’m in.”

I’m in suddenly became my two favorite words.

“I am too, Arlo. I am too.”

“Mate me. Make me yours.”