Page 14

14

KALEN

“You’ve got this.” It was probably the tenth time my brother had said those words to me, and he believed them. But still, it was terrifying knowing that I was on my way to pick up my mate, to show him who I was for the very first time. He saw me as the math professor slash fix-it man who saved the day, and I was all of those things. But I was also a lion.

“And if he doesn’t want me anymore?” I voiced my biggest fear. It would crush me. Now that I had a taste of happiness, how could I ever go back? I couldn’t.

“Then I’ll be right over.” He spoke as if it was as easy as that. It wasn’t.

“You can’t come right over. It’s too far.”

“I’ll find a way,” he promised.

I didn’t doubt he’d come. My brother was pretty great like that.

“But don’t worry—it’s not gonna happen. You’ve got this.” How very much I wanted to believe him.

“Now get off the phone and go see your mate.”

I was planning to meet him at my favorite place to shift, and this time, I wasn’t going to chicken out like I did last time I considered showing him my mane. Although, to be fair, chicken out might not be accurate. Arlo had been looking delicious on our date, and it was hard to focus on anything other than tasting his lips, running my hands down his back, slamming into him. Yeah, my brain had been in full-on mate mode that day.

But also, I hadn’t fully figured out how I was going to present who I was to him. There was no easy way to tell someone you were an animal some of the time and not in the kinky fun way. Although, I could be that for him if he ever asked.

Waiting had been better. At least that was what I kept telling myself.

We met at the lot at the foot of the trail I was taking him on. Asking him to bring his own car had pissed my lion off. He wanted to provide and protect, and for some reason he refused to see that this was protecting Arlo. I never wanted him to feel like he had no way out. If we had taken the same car, he would have either felt trapped, or if he drove, like he had to be in a confined space with my beast. Neither was a great scenario.

Arlo was already there when I pulled in, his face lighting up the second he saw me. I parked beside him, and he ran around to my car door before I even got my seatbelt off and threw his arms around me as I stepped out.

“I’ve missed you.” He nibbled on his bottom lip. “I’ve missed you a lot.”

“I missed you too.” I hugged him close. “Ready?” If we didn’t leave now, I was going to lose the strength I’d borrowed from my brother. I’d have done anything to have the confidence he currently had that this would all work out and that my lion wasn’t going to result in my mate pissing his pants and running away in fear.

“Yeah, ready.” He thought the plan was going for a walk—or a hike, as I’d called it—and then getting dinner before heading back to his place. And I wanted to do all those things. But it was what we did during this time that mattered.

We chatted about our day, a little bit about my job, a little bit about his—normal small talk on the way to the clearing. With each step, I felt more confident that everything would be okay. He was so relaxed and comfortable with me, how could it not be?

But then we arrived, and it was do-or-die time. Then terror flooded me. There was so much riding on this one conversation, this one reveal.

“Listen.” I cupped his cheek. “I have something to show you, and I need you to know you will never be in danger.”

His face went pale, his eyes wide, a slight tremor rolled through his body. I’d already messed this up epically.

“You’re scaring me.” It was but a whisper.

“I know. I know I am. But I don’t know any other way to do this.” Tears threatened to fall from my eyes. My job was to keep my mate safe and feeling loved, and what did I go and do? I had him literally shaking, his fear so palpable.

Unsure how to make it better, I followed my grandfather’s rule: When you are in a hole, stop digging. I’m not sure where he got it from, but he reminded me of it every time I got in trouble growing up and thought I could talk my way out of it.

Instead of trying to explain who I was first, I went to the show-and-tell method and started pulling off my clothes. His eyes went wide. Last time he saw me naked, I could scent his slick—his need. That was absent now. On some level, he understood that he was the prey in this scenario. At least on a biological level.

“That is an interesting way to get me naked.” His attempt to lighten the mood failed, his voice trembling.

I shook my head. “No. I’m not. I promise… I just… please… stay here.”

He opened his mouth as if to speak, but instead, gave one single nod. I toed off my socks and shoes, dropping the rest of my clothes on the ground in a puddle.

“Remember that I am safe, no matter what you see.”

He didn’t respond, his eyes fixated on me.

Our.

Mate.

Fix.

As if I hadn’t been actively working on doing that.

Before I could second-guess myself—or was it fifty-thirding myself—I took my fur. My paws landed on the ground with a thud, Arlo taking a step back.

This was not good. This was very not good.

My first instinct was to shift back, but my beast made it known he was going to fight me on that. If Arlo thought my lion was scary, I couldn’t imagine what he’d think while watching my beast and me in a power struggle.

I conceded to my cat under the condition he allow me to take over. In an attempt to make my massive predatory self look more like a house cat, I laid straight down. The very last thing I wanted was to make this worse, and having him worry that I was about to pounce and turn him into dinner would do that.

“This can’t be real. This can’t be real,” he kept muttering over and over again, his eyes squeezed tightly closed.

I didn’t move, instead watching him as he attempted to process what he was seeing or currently not seeing as the case might be.

When he opened them again, I was still lying there, watching him, forcing myself to look as passive as I could. He took the sight in for maybe a second and then snapped them closed again.

“It can’t be real. It can’t be real.”

This time, I shifted back, wanting nothing more than to comfort him, reassure him, somehow fix this. In my happy dreams, he would’ve come over to me and snuggled in close, telling me how beautiful I was. This was very much not that.

I pulled on my boxer briefs and jeans, figuring that standing here naked wasn’t going to make things go any better.

“Arlo?”

He opened his eyes, looking behind me as if to make sure the lion wasn’t still there. “You... you were just a lion, right? I wasn’t imagining that?”

“Yes. I was.” He didn’t say more, so I continued. “I’m a shifter.”

“No. That can’t be. That’s not real. That’s only in books.” His words sped out, blending together.

“No, it can be. I promise. I know this is a lot to take in.”

“How… how… Why am I freaked out but not fearing you’ll kill me?” That was at least promising.

“Because you sense I could never harm you. You’re my mate.”

“Whoa.” Three steps back. All that promising I just felt fell away. “You’re telling me that because I had sex with you, now you, like, own me or something?”

I wasn’t sure I could’ve made a bigger mess of this if I tried. I needed one of those watches that turned back time so I could have a redo, one that wouldn’t scare my sweet mate like this.

“No! No, I’m saying this all wrong.” I took a deep breath in an attempt to center myself. “I’m saying that attraction you have for me? That connection? That’s nature’s—rather Fate’s—way of showing us that we’re meant for each other. And the sex was… sex. And it was great. But that’s not mating. There’s more to mating.”

I started babbling, throwing every single fact I thought might help ease Arlo into this at him. Words were pouring out of me, and I wasn’t sure I made even the tiniest bit of sense. But he wasn’t running, and I was calling that a win… for now.

Then, when all my words were depleted, he took one step back.

“Please don’t go.” My voice cracked, my emotions raw.

“Listen. I need to think about this. This is... so… it’s so much.”

He was right, and in that moment I was glad that I had him bring his own car. As much as I didn’t want him to leave, it was good that he had a means to get the time he needed.

“At least let me walk you back to the car.”

I thought he was going to refuse me, but then, out of his mouth came one word in barely a whisper. “Okay.”

I threw on my shoes, shoved my socks in my pocket, and yanked my shirt over my head. I walked beside him. Neither of us touched. Neither of us talked.

Please don’t let this be the end.