Page 6

6

WILDER

Scenting my mate and leaving was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do. If there had been any other choice, I’d have made it. There wasn’t.

Not only was the situation complicated as fuck, there was no denying that my mate was human. Scents didn’t lie. And being human meant leaving. Showing up as my cougar or a naked man was probably a good way to ruin everything. Either he’d think I was going to kill him with my claws or with an ax. Neither was a good first impression.

Instead, I raced home, threw on some clothes, and hiked back, hating every single second I was gone. My cougar was pushing at me hard. Unlike last time, I knew what to expect, and I was able to contain him. I didn’t need to go through round two of getting my human on so I could finally meet my mate.

When we finally came face to face, all I wanted to do was go in for a kiss, to inhale his scent directly from the source, rub myself all over his body, strip him bare, mark him, and make him mine. I did none of those things.

Instead—what did I do? I was a grumpy asshole. I wasn’t even sure why. He was nice enough to me and still I snapped at him.

I was lucky that he hadn’t kicked me out. I’d have deserved it if he had. He knew who I was, which was good… I guess… but also, knowing that made the conversation we had on the phone even weirder, because why didn’t he ask for me by name? That would’ve made the past few days a whole lot easier.

I needed to figure out a way to have him keep the place—now more than ever—because it wasn’t just about maintaining what was left of Cougar Lake. It was so much more than that. It was keeping my mate here until… until I wasn’t sure what. The whole being human thing added so many levels of complication.

There was no human-shifter handbook for me to reference, and the last thing I needed to do was scare him away so that he drove gods knew where and never came back. Which meant he couldn’t see my cougar until he was ready, I couldn’t be the naked serial killer of Cougar Lake, and I had to stop being a grumpy-ass loser face. All of that was a thousand times easier said than done.

Somehow, I found myself at Old Man Blaze’s table with my mate sitting across from me, both of us with crappy cups of coffee in our hands and legal pads in front of us, making a list. A list of all the things that needed to be done around here. It was far from exhaustive and already filled an entire column.

The resort hadn’t been fancy or well kept, not in the time I’d been around. It wasn’t Alexei’s priority. He was more about enjoying time with the few people who still came here. He’d wanted Cougar Lake to be what it once was, and that was how he did his part.

Me? I did it by showing people around and helping them navigate the wilderness. I started it for fun, but over the years, I’d managed to make some decent money doing it. For shifters, my rate was nominal. They didn’t really need me. But humans? I swore they sometimes had a death wish, making every survival mistake possible. For them, I charged a ton. It was fair given I was the only thing keeping them alive half the time.

I read through the list again. Part of me wanted it to be pages and pages long so that he’d have to stay here while I fixed everything—stay here while I slowly drew it out and kept him here longer and longer, with the hopes that one day he would just figure it all out and choose me as his one and only for always and forever.

That one day preferably being today.

But there was a real risk in that strategy. If the list got too long, he might get fed up and just say, “Nah, it’s not worth it. Time to sell.” The place didn’t have any liens on it, from what he said. He’d inherited it free and clear. Selling it would be easy, and the condo rumor could easily become reality.

I had known that Alexei had a weird relationship with his family, but that weirdness taking the form of his nephew not even knowing him wasn’t something I’d expected. There was a lot that went along with that, but one thing stood out: Thorn wouldn’t have the sentimental connections to this place. He wouldn’t look at the mismatched cups and know that his uncle’s favorite thing to do had been to go to yard sales and get random mugs and cups for the resort. He’d thought it was clever and cute, where so many people would think that it was cheap-looking.

I was with Alexei on that one. I enjoyed not knowing which cup I was going to get next. There were lots of little things like that around here that mattered on some small level to me and probably didn’t even register with Thorn. To him, this place was probably filled with junk.

“And you know how to do all of this?” It wasn’t the first time he asked me, and I didn’t know if I should be insulted or just be glad he was talking to me.

His voice was one that was now embedded in my brain. It was rich and sexy, but also had a playful hint—even though I didn’t get the impression that part was intentional at all. The guy could read me the cereal box and I’d ask for more.

“Anything I don’t know how to do, I can figure out.” Didn’t he know about YouTube? “But before you ask me for the 72nd time—no, I don’t have licenses for any of this. That’s not handyman common, at least not around here.”

He sank in his chair a little bit. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to be a dick. I know you can do this. My uncle trusted you.”

I pinched my nose, wishing there was more I could do. He might not have known his uncle, but there was definitely loss pouring off of him.

“This has to be hard for you, because a loss is a loss. And sometimes it’s not the person you lose that impacts you as much as realizing that there was someone that you aren’t missing.”

He looked up at me. For a second, I thought he was going to reach across the table and take my hand, but he didn’t.

“Yeah, that’s it. It’s like I missed out on his entire life. I hadn’t been able to put words to it before.” He picked up his coffee cup and put it right back down. “It’s more missing the relationship I could’ve had with him. And obviously he cared about me, but I’d never know him. Maybe you could tell me about him sometime? People in town said you worked for him for many years.”

“I did.” I put the pen down and picked up my cup. “But in recent years, he slowed down a lot, and I was here a lot less. Probably less than I should have been.”

I took a long sip of my coffee, not wanting to continue down that road. I already carried enough guilt. Adding to it wasn’t going to do anyone any good.

“Okay. Now that we have this list, does that mean there’s a chance that… you’re staying?” So much for easing in with a softball question.

“I didn’t say that.” He stood up. “But fixing it up and selling it or fixing it up and keeping it are both better than letting this place get razed, right?”

“Right.” On that we both agreed.

“Yeah, I was afraid you wanted to turn this into condos at first because of small towns and rumors,” I admitted. “If that happens, all the city folks would come in and the beauty would disappear.”

Was I being melodramatic? Yes, I was.

“I don’t think my uncle would have liked that.” He stood up. “I think I need to walk around again to make sure our list is good.”

“Did you want me to come with you?”

“No, I think I need a moment.”

That I understood.

“Okay, well then, I’ll go sit outside with my coffee, maybe wander home.” Get some air, because frankly, sitting here surrounded by his scent was nearly killing me.

“Yeah. Thanks. This is different than I thought it would be. More raw.”

“I know what you mean.” How I wanted to hug him and tell him everything would be okay.

I watched him walk to the next room, and I went straight outside, taking a breath of relief and wondering what the heck I just got myself into.