12

WILDER

Visiting my grandmother’s grave was something I didn’t do often, mostly because seeing all of my family that had gone before me was always rough—a reminder that we were only on this planet for a blip.

But this time… this time, it felt like it was where I was meant to be.

It was a small graveyard, mostly cougar families from the area, including mine. I was the only one here and took the opportunity to stay a while. I had a lot I wanted to tell her, but since she was with the goddess, this was as close as I was going to be able to get.

I told her about the scrapbook with her picture in it, and about finding my mate—and how Thorn was human and that he accepted my beast so readily. I left no details unshared, minus the naked ones, of course. And when I was done, a sense of peace washed over me. But that wasn’t the powerful part of the visit.

The part that really changed everything was seeing my grandfather’s plot right next to hers. Obviously I knew it was there and had always been there, but for some reason, when I stood up to leave, I caught it out of the corner of my eye and emotion slammed into me. I hadn’t even met him, he was gone before my time, but in some ways, I felt like I knew him.

He and my grandmother had been together until he left this world, and she’d never stopped loving him. She kept him alive with her stories.

That got me thinking. What if? What if my grandfather had waited to ask her to be his mate? They’d have lost time—time they couldn’t get back. And it gave me the resolve to be brave and ask my mate to be my mate. I didn’t want to miss time with him, not even a second.

It was all I could do not to go home and mark him. But I couldn’t. I wanted to do it right. I wanted to do it the human way, to give him the choice. It would break my heart if he turned me down, but it would break my heart more to know I hurt him by taking the choice away.

I called my cousin on the way back and asked him how that worked—the human side of things. He lived among them and understood them far better than I did, that was for sure.

Paul and I didn’t talk often. He hadn’t stayed in Cougar Lake, but instead, moved to a small city not too far from us. He loved his career and life there, or at least said he did. But he wasn’t one of those shifters who left and never looked back. He always made time for family and picked up on the first ring.

“Cousin! What’s up?”

“Well, you got a minute?” I wasn’t sure how to even begin, but if he was going to be heading into a meeting in another minute, I’d rather call him back than have to begin again.

“For you? Always. Hold on—” A few seconds later I heard a door click, probably to his office, and then he got back on the phone, and I told him all about my mate.

“Well, simple. You need to ask him. Maybe even ask him to get married. Humans like that.”

“Maybe. I don’t fully understand the whole married thing, if I’m honest.” I’d feel my mate out on that one, because I had no problem following his traditions if they were important to him. “But yes on the mating part.”

“You know your mate better than I do. It wasn’t like you invited me over to meet him yet… hint, hint.”

We really did need to get together more often.

“I need you to truth bomb me—how bad is it living in the city?”

He let out a long sigh. “In the beginning, it takes a while for your beast to get used to it. But he does. And for me—I mean, this city’s not big, but it was hard because I was alone. If you go back with him, you won’t be alone, so it won’t be as bad.”

“And what about Cougar Lake?” It was already declining at a quick pace.

“What about it? It’ll still be there. You don’t have to sell your place. You can let one of the younger generation use it in exchange for carrying forward or something. Don’t worry about that. That’s the chicken-shit in life. Worry about being with your mate.”

And he was right. Thorn was my priority.

By the time I got home, I was resolved to tell my mate what I wanted in life—to woo him, and, if need be, go back with him. The choice would be his, because at the end of the day, his happiness was more important than mine.

One of my cousin’s suggestions was a nice dinner out. About 45 minutes south of us, there was a steakhouse that had a good reputation and was known for being shifter-friendly. They didn’t exclude humans from coming, but it was more shifter-frequented, and I figured that would be good, because we could talk there.

Thorn seemed excited about the idea of me taking him on a surprise date, and on the way down, we talked about the progress we’d made on the resort. It wasn’t at all what you would call romantic—but it didn’t need to be. Not everything was about romance. In fact, the real stuff wasn’t. It was just the two of us living our lives together.

And while nothing had been settled, nothing determined, it felt like that’s what we were doing—living our life together, and I loved it.

We pulled into the parking lot, and I was happy to see there weren’t many cars.

“This looks so fancy. I’m wearing jeans.” Thorn unbuckled and faced me. “We can go elsewhere if you think I’m underdressed.”

As if I, too, wasn’t wearing jeans.

“It looks fancy. It’s not,” I promised him, then walked around to help him out. He didn’t need the help, obviously. Getting out of the truck was no big deal. But I liked to, and he let me.

We walked inside hand in hand, and the host brought us straight to our table. I’d managed to get one with a lot of privacy when I made the reservation, thanks to the promise of a big tip—and letting it slip that I was going to ask him to be my mate.

Shifter-owned places were really awesome like that. They let us blend the old ways with the new.

“Smells amazing in here.”

Thorn was right. It did—but he was referring to the food, or me? I meant my mate. I couldn’t get enough of his scent. It was him.

We ordered our dinner, and he turned to face me, both of us sitting side by side in the circular booth.

“You seem nervous all of a sudden.” He took both my hands in his. “What’s going on?”

“It’s… I—” I let out a long breath. “It’s because I am nervous. And I want to tell you about something. Something that’s specific about my kind—but also about us.”

“Okay.” He sounded unsure, and I knew I was botching it up. So, this time when I began talking, I just blurted it all out—everything I’d ever learned about mates. I only stopped when the server dropped off the bread, then started back up again.

It sounded more like the stupid health-and-lifestyle class I took as a teen than the romantic gesture I wanted it to be. But he just nodded along, and when I stopped, he asked a couple clarifying questions, then pulled his bottom lip in with his teeth and leaned back.

“Did I scare you away?”

“No, I just… Why didn’t you do that—mate me, I mean?” His voice cracked, so full of emotion.

“Gods, trust me, I wanted to. But you… you needed to make the choice, too.”

“Yeah. That’s fair. We can leave here. Go do it now.” He grabbed my hand again, my cougar ready to push forward and mark him right here.

I shook my head slightly, and he pulled his hand back.

“It’s because I’m human.”

“Oh gods, no. It’s because—well, you don’t live here. And once we mate, being away from you… I don’t think I could handle that.” Why wasn’t there a handbook about this? I kept making things go from bad to worse.

“Who said I have to go back to the city?”

“It’s your job. And your home. And your life. You—” I thought it was a given.

“I can find another job. But I already feel it, deep inside, that this is my home. And my life. And besides, I don’t even need to interview to get a new job.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… if I stay here, we could reopen the resort. You and me. Together.”

Together. I loved the sound of that.

“Would you want that life? Working with me by your side every day?” He had a career, and it wasn’t shifter hospitality in the middle of practically nowhere.

“More than anything.”

I felt exactly the same. “Then I will ask you to be my mate—officially—after our date. You need time to think about it. No rushing in.”

He groaned, but there was a sparkle in his eye. He liked the sound of that. I did too.

We enjoyed our dinner, but when the restaurant closed, it was time to go home. I wasn’t ready to leave my mate– for our night to be over.

“Thank you, for an amazing evening.”

“I hope it’s not over yet.” I leaned in and gave him a kiss on his cheek and whispered in his ear, “There’s something else I’d like to do together.”