Page 34

Troy

T he fire crackled, sending wisps of smoke curling toward the ceiling. The smoke carried a sickly sweet scent that made my stomach twist violently.

I crouched beside it, watching the meat sizzle over the flames. My mind spun and broke, trying to ground itself in the horror of what I was doing.

I was starving.

And I hated how good it smelled.

I swallowed back bile, forcing myself to focus on the heat of the fire, the weight of the knife still in my hand, and the guilt and shame curling inside me like a snake.

Adrian sat nearby, holding Elena close, her frail body tucked against his.

She was alive, but it was getting harder to tell.

Her breathing was too light, her skin pale, and her body too fragile.

We had no choice.

And I hated myself for it.

The meat finished cooking, and I stared at it for too long, my mind rejecting what I had to do next.

This isn't right.

I forced down a breath and called out softly, "Come eat."

Adrian shifted, adjusting Elena as he reached for the plate I handed him. He took a double portion, his silent way of telling me it was for her, too.

I watched him hesitate before taking the first bite.

The second the meat hit his tongue, his entire body jerked, his face contorting in disgust as he gagged.

His hands trembled as he chewed, his throat convulsing like he was about to spit it out.

But he forced himself to swallow.

I closed my eyes, pressing my lips together before taking my bite.

The second the flavor hit my tongue, my stomach rebelled.

It was sweeter than I expected.

Not gamey. Not metallic. Almost like… chicken.

I gagged, clamping a hand over my mouth as tears burned down my cheeks, the reality of what we were doing sinking into my bones like ice.

I forced myself to keep chewing, knowing I wouldn't start again if I stopped.

I had to eat.

We had to survive.

I took another bite.

Another.

Each one felt like swallowing glass, my throat closing around every mouthful, my breath coming in short, sharp bursts.

When I couldn't stomach it anymore, I set my plate down and rolled onto my back, staring at the ceiling, my chest shaking.

A soft, broken sob slipped out.

Then another .

I pressed my hands to my face, but the tears kept falling, kept coming until my entire body was trembling.

I had never felt this kind of pain before.

Not when my mom left.

Not even when I thought we might never get out of here.

This—this was worse than all of it.

I barely noticed when Adrian finished eating; his gags were barely suppressed as he wiped his mouth with a shaking hand.

I heard him shift, the plate scraping against the floor as he adjusted Elena in his arms.

Then I heard the first bite.

I froze, my breath catching, my stomach twisting all over again.

She ate quickly, and her body was too weak to question it and care.

She didn't know. I couldn't stand to tell her. Not now. Maybe not ever.

I bit my fist to keep from crying out, from sobbing openly as I listened to Adrian feed her, his voice soft and soothing, whispering gentle reassurances like we weren't monsters.

Like we hadn't just done the unthinkable.

She'd asked us not to do this to Dean. She said she didn't want to be part of it. Guilt surged through me. I wanted her to live, so I'd done this to save her. Not hurt her.

She drank water.

She lay back down.

She slept.

And just like that, it was over.

Adrian moved to me, his boots scuffing the floor, his breath uneven. I felt his hands on me, tugging me to sit up.

He hugged me like he was trying to hold me together.

I didn't hesitate. I clung to him, my fingers digging into his back, my body shaking violently .

We didn't speak. We didn't need to. We just sat there, gripping each other, crying in the silent hell we had created.

Finally, Adrian pulled back, his red-rimmed eyes filled with something I couldn't name, something raw and broken.

He didn't say anything. He just nodded, and I knew. He understood.

This would haunt us forever.

We moved together, exhausted and shattered, slipping back into bed with Elena, our bodies pressing against hers and holding her between us.

She sighed in her sleep, her fingers curling instinctively against my chest, and I felt my heart lurch painfully.

I kissed her hair, whispering soft reassurances into her ear, my voice thick with emotion.

"I love you," I murmured.

Adrian echoed the words beside me, his voice barely a whisper, his arms tight around her waist.

We lay there, wrapped around her, whispering our love, our guilt, our fear into the darkness.

Then, silently, I closed my eyes and begged God for forgiveness and rescue.

I begged for this nightmare to end.

And then, finally?—

I let sleep take me.