Page 44 of Wraith (Deviant Assassin #1)

Blade

H ow can she be the same person I knew so long ago and yet so different at the same time?

Kiera’s always been fierce, independent, street savvy.

Survival was her driving force. Minimal connections.

No regrets. Now, though, she’s fallen hard for twin boys who aren’t her responsibility.

Even though I imagined mini-Kiera’s running around, she insisted kids were a liability she couldn’t afford.

We were so young; I didn’t push it. Now here she is with two of them, all on her own.

Her fear and worry for them washes over me like a tidal wave.

The Kiera I knew wasn’t one to cuddle, or even hug, for that matter.

We never took long walks together; talked about our dreams and wishes.

We were both too busy trying not to get swept up by a street gang and fighting the temptation to fall into drugs or alcohol to numb the pain of our day to day.

After I put a stop to Rick and Donna, pimping Kiera out, she could breathe easier.

But that didn’t bring down the wall she built, not even toward me.

And who can blame her after the hell she faced?

But, now? I’ve witnessed how she puts the twins first. Hugging and comforting them.

Playing sports together and chasing each other around in the front yard.

Creating a family for them, the polar opposite of the one she had.

Kiera loves those boys and wants only the best for their lives.

So, they had to go with Tris until I can help them become a family again.

But blaming her for putting them in this position went too far.

Her relentless pacing is only interrupted by the glares she keeps sending my way. Kiera’s arm keeps reaching out, her fingers curling as if she’s imagining my neck caught in her hand. Her lip curls and I swear she’s imagining my death because a satisfied smile flits across her luscious mouth.

“Fuck you, Blade!” she finally growls out, her voice lowering with each word, which is a definite sign she’s about to lose her shit. “You have no right. No right!”

“I’m your husband! It’s literally my job to protect you, Kiera.”

“You aren’t shit! You walked out, left me behind.” She stomps over to me, getting up in my face, her voice once again lowering. “You’re a coward and I’m not here for that, you asshole.”

She’s so fast, I don’t have time to stop her when her fist flashes out, glancing across my cheek.

Had I not moved my head in time, she would have knocked me out with a solid hit to my chin.

She lets another fly, trying for a second shot, but without the element of surprise, there’s no way I’m letting that shit happen again.

With a grunt, I grab her arm, spin her around, and slam her back against my chest. She screams her frustration, kicking her legs in the air as she struggles to break my hold when I lift her up.

I throw the thoroughly pissed off hell cat face down onto the couch.

She flips over, arches to spring at me again, but I straddle her and pin her beneath me.

One hand gathers her wrists together, holding them in a tight grasp above her head.

The other grabs her jaw, shoving her head up to look at me.

My fingers press into her cheeks as I hold her in place as she spits venom at me.

I know I’ll leave bruises later, but she’s playing for keeps right now, preferring me un-alive.

I’m not going into her photo album of murder.

“Calm the fuck down and listen to me. It’s the least you owe me,” I grit out, hanging onto my temper by a thread.

Full of piss and vinegar, she struggles, trying to get her legs up between us to push me off, but my thighs hold her lower body in place.

I press my face to her, mashing our noses together.

“If you want to see Boo and the twins again, you better stop fighting me. I’ve had enough of your shit.

Keep testing me and I will knock you the fuck out. ”

This Kiera, the one currently beneath me, is a new woman.

She just didn’t have it in her to fight before.

Her parents conditioned her to be a good girl and take their abuse.

She hid inside herself, and it took me a long time to coax her out again.

To show her she’s worthy of love and respect.

Zephyr shaped this Kiera. I know she didn’t become this on her own.

“I’m going to kill Z for doing this to you.” Her struggles stop and she eyes me warily. “The piece of shit who turned you into a killer.”

An eyebrow cocks, and she scoffs, letting out a huge breath.

Tears well up in her eyes until they run down her smooth cheeks.

She bites her full bottom lip and tries to jerk her face out of my grasp, but I’m not stupid enough to let her go.

I’m concerned when her body shakes with laughter; a cruel smile playing across her lips.

“Then you’ll have to kill yourself, jackass,” she says, as if it’s a joke. I freeze in shock, reading the truth in her eyes. She believes what she’s saying.

I tilt my head in question. Me? This has nothing to do with me. I search her face again for signs of subterfuge but see only pain and anger.

“I don’t understand, Kiera. This happened when I was gone.

I tried to help you, and you refused it.

” Letting out a sigh of frustration, I loosen my grip a fraction.

“I’d never pull you into this world. It’s the reason I left in the first place.

To protect you, give us the type of life we never imagined. ”

“Protect me? You left me in debt, Blade. You left me holding the bag filled with your poor decisions.”

I suck in a breath, trying to figure out how to calm her without becoming her punching bag.

“Something’s not right here; we need to figure it out.

” She considers my words and once her body relaxes a fraction, I continue.

“I’m going to release you. You can tell me whatever the hell you’re talking about.

Truce?” She gives an infinitesimal nod, and I let go, stroking a thumb across her cheek.

Reluctantly, I move and settle beside her on the couch.

I study her for a moment, but the fight seems to have drained out of her.

For now anyway. Rubbing my hands over my face, I prepare myself for her truth. “Okay, start at the beginning.”

She runs a hand through her mussed hair and rolls her lips between her teeth.

“Well, you know the beginning. You disappeared. A man came to me and said you ran off and left a pretty large debt behind.” I give her a confused look, my brows dipping down, eyes narrowing.

Her shoulder comes up, and she tilts her head toward it.

“He explained that if I didn’t become an assassin…

” she holds out a hand, palm up, indicating me.

“… kill in your place. I wouldn’t be long for this world. ”

None of what she’s saying tracks. It’s impossible. When she pauses, I urge her to go on. I fight for calm to let her get the entire story out.

“Okay, what happened next?”

“At first, I stalled for time, hoping you’d show up and say everything had been worked out.

That you were sorry I got wrapped up in your mess.

When two weeks went by, and after searching every hospital and police station, every morgue that had a John Doe and came up empty. I realized you ghosted me.”

Shanking my head, I’m unable to stay silent any longer. “I wouldn’t— didn’t do that, Kiera.”

Eyebrows raised, lips twisted in a grimace, her eyes convey how skeptical she is of the truth.

“So, word got out that you disappeared. Rick… decided to come for me. He thought he could make me… He was going to…” Kiera chokes up, eyes downcast, while locking the fingers of her shaking hands together.

Pressing her lips together until they turn white, she glances at me.

Our gazes meet and lock together in pain.

“It was my first kill. It was an accident, but… I was so relieved, too. For a moment I thought… this is finally done. I don’t have to be afraid of him anymore.

But it wasn’t long before it sunk in there would be consequences for killing someone, no matter how justified. ”

I reach out, rubbing her knee, unable to sit through this any longer and not touch her. Needing her to know I get it, that I don’t judge her.

“You did the right thing. So, what did you do next?”

“I went to contact the person who told me you fucked me over, but his associate showed up at our meeting spot. He said he was my trainer, my handler. In the end, I took the job, to pay off your debt. It didn’t matter how angry I was at you, how hurt.

I needed to do whatever it took before he found and killed you.

He also promised to keep Donna off my back.

I was in shock, scared shitless and half out of my mind with fear for being charged with murder and your possible death.

The next thing I know, Donna saw her last sunset thanks to a heroin overdose.

” She blows out a shaky sigh and continues.

“He trained me directly, became my handler, and the jobs started coming in. With each kill, I pay off your debt. But I never saw the person who told me about you again.”

“Who were these fuck-wits?” I growl.

She just shrugs, “It was all silly code names, you know how it is. No real identities.”

I pull her hands apart and lace our fingers together. My eyes implore her to believe my side of the story.

“Okay, my turn. A friend approached me with the offer of a lifetime. Become a very well-paid assassin. I was young and dumb and saw it as a way to provide for the family I hoped to have with you. I told him I would do it but wanted a hefty advance in good faith. He agreed, but I had to leave for training immediately and couldn’t tell you about our deal.

I thought it was the perfect way out—for us both. ”

“So, why did you fuck him over?” she says, but I hear the uncertainty in her voice.

“That didn’t happen, Kiera. I bought you a house, this house,” I say, waving a hand around.

“He was supposed to give you a letter saying I had to leave suddenly. It had the keys to this place, our bank account information telling you to design and furnish it to your heart’s content and said I would be back as soon as possible.

I asked you to please understand and said I would make it up to you as soon as I got back. ”

A pucker forms between her brows and her mouth turns down. “I never got a letter or even knew about this house, Blade.”

I nod my head, rubbing our entwined hands over my temple. “Yeah, I see that now. Please tell me you believe me. Tell me you know I would have never left without an excellent reason.”

Kiera gives me a weak smile, a tiny glint of hope lighting her eyes. “Why didn’t you come back? Or even try to talk to me? Where have you been all this time?”

“My friend came to me first. He told me you refused the letter. I didn’t believe him at first, but…

” pain seeps into my voice as my throat constricts, “he showed me a video of you in bed with another man. I lost my shit. Undeniable anger and pain filled me. I didn’t trust myself to see you face to face.

” Her jaw drops open at my raw admission.

“I honestly didn’t know what I would do except that it would be bad, something neither of us would ever come back from.

So, I did the next best thing I could think of and put an ocean between us.

I left the country and moved to Europe. Became The Shadow for Umber and tried to forget you.

” I bring our hands to my lips and kiss her fingers.

“It didn’t work. I’ve been living in hell without you. ”

“You didn’t ghost me,” she says in wonder.

“I didn’t ghost you. Would never ghost you, Kiera.”

“I believe you,” she sighs, and the knot around my heart finally eases.