Page 33 of Wraith (Deviant Assassin #1)

I sit cross-legged on my bed, the soft glow of the bedside lamp barely penetrating the gloom as the storm rages, making the old, worn windows rattle. The scent of fried potatoes and cheese fills the air as I dig into a container of the ultimate comfort food—loaded tater tots.

“I belong to no one,” I say to Boo, offering him a bacon crumble from one of the two jumbo paper containers in the takeout bag.

He takes the perfect bite of salty goodness into his little paws, but cants his head at me, and hisses softly, clearly calling me out on my bullshit.

“Alright, alright. I only belong to you.”

Satisfied with my correction, he licks his little greasy paws clean with a little chirp

“You know, Boo,” I say, popping another tot into my mouth, chewing slowly as search for words for the mayhem inside me.

“I was so hopeful my life would finally make some sense as soon as I’ve finished paying Blade’s debt.

I’d have an amazing life—my routine, my rules, my time making corpses pretty.

Ya know, normal shit. And then, out of nowhere, not one but two demanding men come crashing into my world. ”

Boo waits patiently, his beady onyx eyes fixed on mine. He understands me better than anyone, or at least, he’s the best listener I’ve ever known. I sigh, running a hand through my still damp hair. It’s a chaotic mess, just like my life.

“Blade,” I grumble, his name leaving a bitter taste on my tongue that I chase away with another bite of cheesy potato heaven.

I sigh, as Boo scampers onto my leg, listening intently as I stroke his soft fur, comforted by his presence.

“He just shows up after eight years, acting like he has every right to whatever the fuck he wants. Like he owns the place—and me. And the worst part? I let him. I let him kiss me, touch me, fuck me. Worse, it was pure fire. Everything I’d been dreaming of for so long, right up until it was over.

Who can blame me for losing my shit? He’s hot and handled me like a woman with needs, not the young girl he promised to protect and cherish. ”

Disgusted with myself, I shake my head. I’ve carefully crafted walls around my heart, and Blade just waltzes in and tears them down like they’re made of tissue paper.

The feel of his hands on my skin, his lips on mine, has me wanting more.

It’s like he’s branded me, marked me as his all over again.

And I hate the way my body tingles at the memory.

Leaning back against the headboard, I let my eyelids sink closed as my thoughts whip around faster than the wind from the storm.

“I have no clue what to think or do, Boo,” I admit, not liking the pain that is creeping into my voice as I ramble on like one of those whiny women I can’t stand.

“It’s just, I’ve been alone for so long, it’s become the norm for me.

I’ve learned to rely on myself, to trust myself, to keep my distance from others.

And just when I might find a little sliver of happiness, or at least damn good sex, not one, but two men are hell bent on upending my life! ”

When I drag my eyes open, Boo looks up at me, sympathy shining in his eyes as his little nose twitches.

The weight of the situation settles like a brick against my chest, making it hard to breathe.

So much of my life has been spent running, hiding, fighting.

I’ve become a monster who hunts and kills on command.

There are things that can never be undone.

Horrible things that have stained my soul.

Worse yet, I’ve enjoyed it far more than any sane person should.

It’s not just about earning my freedom anymore.

“I never thought I’d see him again.” My voice fades to a pained whisper, but Boo has no trouble understanding me. “Never thought I’d have to face the pain and betrayal he left me with.”

I growl in desperate frustration, struggling to break free of the past. Struggling against the darkness threatening to drag me under.

But the memories come flooding back like a tidal wave.

The day Blade disappeared from my life, leaving me alone and broken.

The agony of his absence, the emptiness that consumed me.

All the nights tears soaked my pillow while I agonized over what I’d done wrong, and why he’d left me.

“He was my everything, Boo,” I say, my voice choked with emotion. “He was my rock, my sanctuary, my partner in every way. I actually believed we were a team, unstoppable. We had plans, dreams of a future together.”

As if the memories of the hard times aren’t punishment enough.

The good times float through my mind. Laughter, joy, passion.

The way Blade would look at me, his eyes filled with love and desire.

How he would touch me, igniting a fire within me I thought could only be quenched by him, forever.

Now, those memories mock me, evidence of how deeply misplaced trust can cut a soul.

Back when forever was more than a pathetic pipe dream of a child.

“We were so happy once, Boo. At least I was,” I correct. “I was so in love. And then, in the blink of an eye, it was all gone. He was gone . And stayed gone, right until he waltzed back into town blowing shit up! Outside of my house!”

Guess I’m not the only one with a dark, twisted soul these days.

It’s all his fault. Once he left I changed as I slowly gave up hope he was coming back for me.

Not even the horrors my parents put me through compared to the pain of Blade’s abandonment.

The darkness that has always been in my soul grew to consume me from the inside out.

All I could think about were the lies, secrets, betrayals. The emptiness he left behind.

When Zephyr told me how I would have to kill for Umber as retribution for Blade’s crimes, I was horrified.

At least at first. But the more blood on my hands, with each photo added to my photo album, the line between right and wrong, good and evil, blurred.

The monster Wild’s hunting and wants to cage took shape.

A long time ago, I accepted I’d remain alone, because my need for revenge runs deep.

My salvation—or any peace I may find—will come from the deaths of those who try to break me.

They’ll all get what’s coming to them, just like my parents did.

Those sworn to protect me instead tried to kill me—to break my spirit.

In a way, they succeeded, though I survived.

Even I know my desires are twisted, a dark reflection of the pain I’ve endured.

Boo nibbles at my finger to get my attention, ready to work his magic to pull me from my dark thoughts, just like he always does.

He regards me for a long moment, his nose twitching adorably, then he hops off my leg and scampers around the room, his little body a blur of motion.

A small chuckle fights its way past the ball of emotion clogging my throat, the sound a sharp contrast between his boundless energy and how the last few days have drained all the energy from my aching body.

Well, the aches are more likely because of how Wild drilled me against a building.

Boo hides behind things and pops out to surprise me, miming hide and seek. The clever way my sidekick mocks the men coming and going from my life.

“What are you doing, smartass?” I ask, bemused despite my life being burned to the ground. My constant companion peeks out from behind a pillow, his beady eyes sparkling with mischief.

“You’re ridiculous.” I say, shaking my head in mock disapproval. Uncaring of my opinion about his antics, Boo dooks, his body shaking with laughter. He darts out from behind the pillow and races across the room, hiding behind a stack of books.

Climbing off the bed, I play along, pretending to search for him.

“Where did you go, Boo?” I call out, my voice filled with feigned concern.

He pops out from behind the books as he chitters.

“There you are!” I exclaim, lunging for him.

He squeaks and darts away. I chase him around the room, laughing and dodging discarded shoes and dirty laundry. Boo is fast, but I’m determined. I corner him behind the dresser, leaving him nowhere to go.

“Gotcha!” I say, scooping him up into my arms.

He squirms and wriggles, as if trying to escape, but I hold him tight, and he lets me, his mission to distract me accomplished. I tickle his little belly, and he dooks again.

“You’re a little troublemaker, aren’t you?” I say, smiling down at him.

He looks up at me, his beady eyes filled with love and affection.

“I love you too, buddy. You’re the only man for me.

” I curl my fingers to scratch under his chin, gently.

“You know life’s a cluster fuck when my biggest problem isn’t Blade coming back,” I finally whisper what has me terrified.

“Wild declared his love for me, Boo. Just threw it out there, like we’ve known each other more than two point four seconds.

Can you believe that shit? He said he’s devoted to me, that he wants to be with me.

” A bitter laugh rattles in my chest. “How long do you think that would last if he discovers I’m Wraith?

Pretty sure against the walls inside the state penitentiary aren’t somewhere he wants to fuck. ”

Boo tilts his head, his expression a curious, ‘ what the actual fuck did you just say ’ as he blinks at me.

“Exactly! He’s crazy—a crazy, delicious damn stalker!

It would be so much easier to walk away if he didn’t turn my insides to liquid and my body to pleasured putty.

” I ramble on to my furry, non-judgmental friend, unable to hold the words back now that I’ve started.

“The world has really gone to hell in a handbasket when you understand the complexity of my feelings better than any of the crazy dominant assholes trying to lay claim on me. We don’t need them, do we? ”

Boo’s always by my side, always tries to keep me happy, and it’s been enough for a long time now. Maybe it should stay that way, or maybe not.

“Wild wants me desperately. Which makes my head spin, in the good and the bad ways. I’ve never felt so desired, and it’s an impossibly good feeling, ya know?

” Boo just blinks up at me patiently. “Well, maybe you don’t, since you’re a bachelor and all, but it’s incredible .

The way he looks at me as if he wants to devour me whole and it still wouldn’t be enough. ”

Restless from sitting still for so long, Boo scampers toward the basket on the nightstand holding his things, and some of Fi’s too.

He rummages through it, his little paws moving quickly as he searches for something.

The corner of my mouth tips up as I watch him, his antics always managing to lift my spirits, no matter how dark they may be.

Finally, he emerges with a small hat, a tiny replica of a fedora that he uses to taunt Felix.

He places it on his head, tilting it at a jaunty angle, and strikes a pose he learned from Felix when they play what he calls Queens on a runway.

One paw on his hip, the other extended outward.

I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it, the sound bubbling up from deep within me, a release of the tension that’s been hanging over the gloomy room.

Encouraged by my laughter, Boo struts around the nightstand, his little body moving with confidence and sass.

He mimics Felix’s expressions and mannerisms, his little face and body completely in diva mode.

I laugh harder; the sound filling the room, a stark contrast to the storm that still rages outside.

I can hide in here, but eventually I’m going to be forced to deal with the damage of the storm ravaging my life.

Oblivious to my mental chatter, Boo crosses the bed as if walking the catwalk at a fashion show and stops in front of me and takes a dramatic bow. Pleased with himself, and the routine that will surely torture Fi, dooks softly, his whole body shaking with laughter.

“You’re the best, you know that?” I say, affectionately. He’s a master of distraction, always knowing just what to do to make me smile. I’m grateful for him, for the way he always manages to make me feel better, no matter how bad things may seem.

Maybe, just maybe, things could work out. I can find a way to finish enough jobs to get my freedom before my dirty, possibly devoted, FBI agent throws me in jail, or my errant husband blows more shit up.