Page 8 of Wooing the Wiccan (Elf Magic #1)

CHAPTER EIGHT

Raeulfr

When the knock comes at my office door the next morning, I’m ready for it. Eoin may think he’s in charge of this meeting he called to lecture me on security and humans, but he’s wrong.

“Enter.” I rest my hands on the top of my desk and don my stern expression. It’s gotten me through many situations that were much more difficult than this.

The head of my security team lets himself in and closes the door before he turns to see my face. “Not having a good morning, Your Majesty?” he asks.

“It hasn’t been too bad, but we have some serious issues to discuss.”

He hovers for a moment, waiting for me to stand and invite him over to the armchairs where we normally have our meetings.

I see the actual moment when he realizes what my failure to do so means.

His eyelid twitches, and he slides into one of the visitor chairs facing my desk.

“We do, Your Majesty. The team has raised some serious safety concerns.”

“I’m sure they have. Please, do share them.” Aside from a moment where I nearly slipped up and called Wicca a human religious practice—which it is, but the implication would have raised questions—I haven’t done anything to truly raise concern.

Eoin sighs, the way he always does when he thinks I’m being difficult. The fact that he’s only had to do it a handful of times in the past thousand years gives a good picture of how easy I am to look after. I should get a free pass to be “difficult” every once in a while.

“I was surprised when Niamh reported that your meeting yesterday afternoon was with the same human you went out with after the magic class last week,” he begins.

“Were you? I’m surprised that it’s important enough to surprise you.”

He sighs again, and I resist the inappropriate urge to smile.

I’ve never made him sigh at me twice in one meeting—and for it to happen within just a few minutes!

Maybe Brandt’s recklessness has finally rubbed off on me.

“Everything you do is important to your security team,” he declares.

I’d feel guilty—as he clearly intends—except I’ve done nothing to put my safety at risk.

“Which is why we’re concerned that you’ve been keeping secrets from us. ”

Taken aback, I say, “Excuse me?”

“Your first meeting with the human was impulsive and perhaps misguided. This second meeting, however, was obviously arranged ahead of time, which means you’ve been corresponding with the human.”

“His name is Jared.” This conversation is far worse than I had expected, but one thing I want to be clear on from the outset is that nobody will disrespect Jared.

“And yes, he and I have been in communication this past week. I’ve also communicated with all my viceroys, Brandt, Percy, and several others—do you require a comprehensive list?

I don’t have one ready, because it has never been of interest to you before. ”

“Surely you can understand why this is different,” Eoin begins, but I don’t see this conversational gambit going anywhere that would be acceptable to me.

“No, actually. Thanks to Steffen, Jared has undergone a deeper background and security assessment than some of the people who have access to walk into this office. It’s been determined by a combined security panel—to which you appointed a member—that he is not a person who would do harm to the community even if he should accidentally discover the truth.

He has been deemed safe to teach magic to.

I fail to understand why you believe, given all this, that me exchanging text messages with him poses a security risk. ”

Eoin’s lips tighten. “Niamh’s report?—”

“Ah, yes. Let’s go on a little tangent, shall we? Perhaps you can explain to me why you’re lecturing me about security when Niamh posed a far greater risk to it last night than I did?”

He straightens. “What do you mean?”

“The first thing we agreed to do when we migrated here was fly under the radar and avoid arousing human suspicions,” I remind him, and he nods.

“Standing in the middle of a store and blatantly staring at a human for uninterrupted minutes is not inconspicuous. Jared was uncomfortable. We’re fortunate that he wasn’t so uncomfortable as to report it to the staff, who might have called the police.

I’m sure having my bodyguard escorted from the store by the police wouldn’t have been conspicuous at all . ”

“I wasn’t aware?—”

“Then,” I continue, “shortly before I departed the store, Niamh thought the best way to get my attention would be to throw a napkin at my head. Jared saw her and recognized her as the person who’d made him uncomfortable earlier.

It’s fortunate that I distracted him before he put the details together and realized that she not only was the one who threw the napkin”—I inject those three words with disgust—“but also that she’s connected to me .

” I told Niamh last night that I wasn’t happy with her professionalism, so she won’t be surprised when Eoin raises this with her.

“Niamh told me about the napkin,” Eoin admits.

He doesn’t sound any happier about it than me.

“I agree it wasn’t advisable—especially since the h— Jared had seen her earlier and recognized her.

She says it was the least objectionable and noticeable way for her to prevent you from potentially taking an unsafe physical action. ”

I’ve been around for a long time and am widely considered to be wise, intelligent, and knowledgeable, yet it still takes me a moment to process and understand that sentence. “I thought I knew Niamh fairly well,” I say slowly, “but is it possible I missed the fact that she’s homophobic?”

“Raeulfr,” Eoin chides. He only calls me by name when he’s particularly exasperated. “You know that’s not true.”

“I didn’t think it was, but I can’t imagine why else she’d think me holding a man’s hand might lead to—what did you call it? ‘Unsafe physical action.’” Disappointment is a lead weight in my stomach. Does my security team not want me to find happiness again?

“It’s not that Jared is a man.”

“Then what? We’ve already established that he’s met security standards.”

“He’s human ,” Eoin grinds out. “And before you accuse me of being speciesist, I’d like you to seriously think about this.

Our— your —entire existence is a secret from him.

He thinks you’re human like him. You could never truly be honest, be yourself with him.

He doesn’t even know what you really look like. ”

Involuntarily, I lift a hand to the side of my face. The difference in bone structure between elves and humans is enough that we use spellcraft to hide it—along with our pointy ears. It’s true; Jared has only seen my glamor.

Eoin presses on. “We were mildly concerned yesterday when it seemed like you’d befriended him, but when Niamh reported the hand-holding and calf-eyed looks, that concern became a very real thing.

Are you romantically interested in this man, Your Majesty?

And if you are, why did you keep it from us? ”

“It’s only been a week, and we’ve only been texting,” I defend. “If I’d decided to pursue this, I would have advised you.”

“If you’d decided to pursue this?” he echoes. “Respectfully, sir, have I been talking to myself for the past ten minutes? You can’t pursue this. He’s human, and he knows nothing about us.”

I narrow my eyes. This conversation is truly beginning to irritate me now. “The community has welcomed trustworthy humans for thousands of years, Eoin. Humans marry into all species—it’s how we were able to begin the program to reintroduce magic to them.”

“Yes, but none of them has married a species leader before.”

The words fall between us like stones, shocking me.

“You are not just any member of the community, Your Majesty. Nearly two hundred thousand elves rely on you to guide us and be our connection to the life force. If you pursued things with this man, not only would you be forced to be dishonest with him in the early part of your relationship, but when—if—you eventually revealed the truth, you’d also have to tell him that he’d be sharing your time and attention with your people.

That his life would come under scrutiny for being with you.

That’s a lot of pressure, and I’d hate to see you hurting again, sir. ”

I say nothing. Eoin doesn’t pull his punches when he has a point to make.

After a moment, he stirs. “I wish we hadn’t had to have this conversation,” he says softly.

“Your safety and well-being are my priority, sir, and have been for a long time. That’s not just physical.

All of us on the team care about you, and we want what’s best for you.

If you choose to pursue things with the human—Jared—that’s your choice to make, and we’ll all wish you every happiness.

We just want to ensure you’ve considered every aspect of it. ”

He said a moment ago that he would hate to see me hurting again, but it might be too late for that.

All the excitement and joy that’s been fizzing inside me for the last week, and especially since last night, is gone, flattened by the gloom of reality.

Even if things between Jared and me do continue to grow, it’s a rare man who would stand fast under the revelations that his partner was lying to him, was of a different, previously unknown to him species, and was in a high-pressure leadership role with no retirement in sight.

Is Jared one of those rare men? Do I want to potentially put myself through the pain of discovering he isn’t?

My phone chimes, as if on cue, and because I desperately need the distraction, I pick it up and swipe to read the message.

Jared:

Good morning! I was thinking… Do you want to come over this weekend? There’s a new moon Sunday night, and I wanted to add some magic to some of my usual rituals. You can learn more about Wicca and we can work on some spells together. I’ll even feed you LOL.

I stare at the message for a long moment, my heart aching, then text back:

Yes, please.

Raising my eyes to Eoin, I say, “I don’t know yet what I’m going to do, but I’m taking a few days to think about it, and I’m having dinner with Jared at his home on Sunday.”

My head of security tightens his lips. “That sounds like you’ve made a decision.”

“No.” I shake my head. “It’s not that easy. But by Sunday, I’ll know whether I’m going to use this dinner to say goodbye or not.” My tone is grim, because I know what I need to do. Maybe I’m delaying, but it would be foolish of me to do anything except end this infatuation.

Eoin nods. “It would be helpful if you could find out his address ahead of time so?—”

“You’re not going into his home while he’s not there,” I order. “We’ve established that he’s trustworthy. It’s bad enough that I’ll have a bodyguard sitting outside the whole time.” I’m not letting them violate his private space, not when I know from things he’s said how fiercely he guards it.

From the expression on his face, Eoin’s not happy. That makes two of us.

I ring the doorbell of the charming cottage that’s Jared’s home. His front garden is tiny, just a patch, really, but even in winter it’s tidy, and I can tell from the dormant plants that it will be lovely in just a few short weeks.

Too bad I won’t be around to see it then.

I’ve been psyching myself up to do the right thing for days, and it’s made me miserable.

The only times I’ve let myself be happy are when Jared and I are talking on the phone—and that makes things even worse, because how can I say goodbye to something with so much promise?

The door opens, warm light and the lovely lemony scent I already associate with Jared flooding out to envelop me, and Jared smiles at me with such pleasure that my resolve wavers.

Something brushes against my ankle, and I look down at the cat winding its way between my feet.

“Oh—sorry,” Jared says. “That’s Marge. I forgot to ask if you were allergic or anything.”

I bend and scoop the cat up, cradling her in my arms. “No, I’m not allergic.”

Jared beams. “Good. Because Margie’s queen around here, and we would have had to spend the whole night outside if you were.”

The life force rushes around me, a whirling, dizzying burst of etheric energy, the way it always is when it wants to communicate something to me. Realization settles in my bones. Eoin’s probably going to sigh, but I’m not giving up Jared… not unless he wants me to.