Page 20 of Wooing the Wiccan (Elf Magic #1)

CHAPTER TWENTY

Raeulfr

The part of me that was so happy earlier today aches fiercely as I get into the car.

Eoin doesn’t ask how it went, just starts the engine and pulls the ridiculous vehicle out onto the road.

If I ask him to, he’ll stop the car right here and take me home by portal, and that’s what I want—to be home, where I can hide away and lick my wounds.

Wounds that are of my own making, because I was so stubborn I refused to consult my security team.

At the very least, I should have made sure Dáithí knew Jared is human.

What was I trying to prove by keeping so many secrets?

“Did you update the rest of the team?” I ask, breaking into the silence, and from the corner of my eye, I see Eoin’s wince.

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I knew you had to.” I brace myself for the next part. “Sam invited Jared to CSG tomorrow, to meet with someone in the integration department—and Noah. He’ll be in the building. The team needs to stay away from him.”

“We wouldn’t hurt him,” Eoin protests, shocked.

“That’s not…” Dammit, I’m not doing anything right tonight.

“I never thought you’d hurt him. Jared has had a lot of shocks tonight, including learning about my position in the community.

He’s taking time to think about things and become familiar with this new world.

It will be easier for him to do so without reminders of the deceit he’s been subjected to, so to that end, my security team and I will stay out of his way.

” I marvel at the way thousands of years of diplomatic experience have kicked in and stripped my words of any emotion.

I sound like a press release instead of a man on the edge of breaking down.

Eoin says nothing for a moment, his attention on the road. “He’s asked for time to think about the situation?” His tone is carefully neutral.

“I offered it, and he accepted.”

That gets a scoff. “You offered . Self-sabotage is not attractive, Your Majesty.”

Ouch. “What was the alternative? He was clearly overwhelmed, and I wasn’t going to pressure him into making a decision he might regret later—or into rejecting me completely.

” Just saying the words out loud is painful.

“Better that he has time to think about what he wants, and hopefully remember how understanding and patient I am.” I hesitate, but Eoin knows almost everything about this relationship already and watched me fuck it all up tonight, so what’s a little more soul-baring? “I told him I’d wait for him.”

The head of my security team lets out a huge sigh. “If Dáithí finds out about that, I’ll never convince him that we should be serious.”

I’m never going to understand their relationship.

“We’re going to come back to that in a second,” I say, because I have questions.

“First, I’m sorry, but Dáithí’s going to find out.

I told Jared that if he needed anything, he could call the DEA and Dáithí would help him.

So he has to be briefed.” The resignation in Eoin’s expression changes my mind about asking him to do it. “I’ll talk to him in the morning.”

“I’ll make myself scarce until you do,” he mutters, “so he can’t be mad about me keeping secrets.”

“Is that something he gets mad about? Because your job?—”

“No, he doesn’t get mad about work secrets. All I need to do is say I can’t talk about it, and he’s fine. He understands that my security clearance is higher than his.” He grimaces. “But when he finds out that I know he knows about you and Jared, he’ll be mad that I didn’t talk to him about it.”

I take a second to make sure I actually understand what he said. “Because you both knew about it? But you didn’t know that he knew until tonight.”

“Which is why I have to avoid him until you see him. If I see him first, but don’t tell him what happened tonight, I’ll get the cold shoulder for not talking to him about something we both know.”

The solution to that is simple. “You can tell him about it, if you’d like.” It won’t be a hardship to not be the one to tell Dáithí about my current relationship angst. Whoever said talking about pain makes it better was a very different person from me.

“No. Wait… yes. No.” Eoin’s frustrated curse almost coaxes a smile from me. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who’s got no idea how to manage his love life. “Yes. If you’re sure?”

I shrug. “I may as well help you win some points, since I’ve got zero.

” Possibly I’ve dropped into negative numbers.

“Now tell me what’s going on with you and Dáithí.

If you want to,” I add, belatedly realizing that he might not want to talk to his boss about his personal life. I’m also his species leader, though.

“I wouldn’t mind an outside perspective,” he admits.

“Dáithí… I think he’s insecure about my feelings.

I don’t know. He insists that we’re just dating casually, no matter how much I push for him to commit.

I want to call him my boyfriend—I think of him that way, and I haven’t dated anyone else since we started seeing each other, but he’s being stubborn about this.

He says my dating history is a red flag and he’d rather we stayed casual than set expectations I won’t be able to meet. ”

I flinch. While it’s true that Eoin’s past is a who’s who of sexual exploits, with nary a serious relationship to be seen, that was rather a cruel thing for Dáithí to say—and not at all like him. Dáithí is sassy, snarky, and occasionally catty, but not deliberately cruel.

“How long have you been dating now?” I’m grateful for the distraction from my own woes.

“Nearly a year. We spend almost all our free time together, but he doesn’t seem to want more than that.” His unhappiness with that is clear in his voice.

“Have you asked him what he would need from you to take things further?” I ask gently.

Eoin and Dáithí are paired souls, so I know they can be happy together, but that’s not something I like to volunteer unasked.

Sometimes people need to find their own way, and just because their relationship would be long-lasting and happy doesn’t mean they have to choose that path.

Eoin’s silence is the only answer I get.

“You’re afraid he might say he doesn’t want to, no matter what you do,” I guess, and the pained noise Eoin makes is my confirmation.

He turns the car into the driveway of the condo building’s underground parking lot and presses the button on the keyring to open the garage door. “You think I should do it.”

“I think you should decide what’s most important to you,” I correct. “Would you rather continue like this and be fairly certain that Dáithí will stay in your life, albeit ‘casually,’ or is a full commitment the only outcome you can be happy with?”

He stares beyond the opening door into the garage. “Both those options include the chance that Dáithí will walk away from me.”

“That’s how free will works.” I hesitate. “I haven’t spoken to Dáithí about this, but from what you’ve said, it’s likely he’s trying to protect his heart from being broken.”

“I can’t change my past.”

“Nobody asked you to.”

I’m still thinking about that when I walk into my office the next morning, far earlier than I usually arrive. I couldn’t sleep, and Eoin was anxious to be here early, too, so there was no point in hanging around at the condo. Maybe if I get some work done, later I can…

No. I’m giving Jared space. I won’t come up with an excuse to visit the CSG offices when he’s there, in the hopes of seeing him.

Just like Eoin, I can’t change my past, can’t change who I am, and if Jared wants to be with me, he’ll make that decision in spite of the things that concern him.

Me pressuring him isn’t going to help any.

The quiet of an empty floor gradually gives way to the sounds of people coming in to start their day, and it’s not a surprise when someone knocks on my door. My days are full of people wandering in and out.

I look up, mouth opening to bid them enter, but the door’s already opening. There’s only one person who does that. Sighing, I sit back in my chair. He might be one of my oldest and dearest friends, but I’m not sure if I can handle Brandt today.

Unexpectedly, he doesn’t launch immediately into speech, instead closing the door and coming to sit opposite me, his face solemn, eyes searching mine. A pang of unease has me sitting upright.

“What’s happened?”

“That’s what I came to ask you,” he says.

“I had a call from Dustin almost before dawn this morning. He heard through a grapevine of about forty people that you were at a hockey game with a human last night and left before the end, after some sort of kerfuffle.” His gaze remains steady.

“Is there something you’d like to tell me? ”

Wonderful. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that gossip is racing through our part of the community, but I’d hoped it wouldn’t. This is hardly the welcome Jared deserves. “Where do you want me to start?” It’s a genuine question, because I’m so muddled this morning, I have no idea.

“You never told me you liked hockey.” The accusation sits between us like the most confusing weapon to ever exist.

I blink. “I… don’t. I don’t know much about it.” The game was fun, though, when I wasn’t worrying about Jared seeing something he shouldn’t. And I liked how much Jared was enjoying himself.

“So why were you there?” Brandt settles himself more comfortably in the chair. I study him.

“Are you sure that’s the question you want to ask?” If I’d needed to put money on what he’d be asking, neither of the questions so far would have been on my list.

“No, I want to know about the human. But I promised Percy?—”

He’s interrupted by a knock, and I hold up a finger. “Just let me deal with this.”

“It’s Percy,” he informs me.

Since Percy’s supposed to be hours away at their estate and, unlike Brandt, can’t fly, I really hope he’s not right. “Come in,” I call.

Percy enters, a sleeping toddler draped over his shoulder, and I sigh, standing. “I can’t believe he dragged you here.”

Brandt gets up to take Cecy and lay her down on the couch against the wall, and Percy comes around the desk to give me a hug.

“There was no dragging. After I spoke to him, Sam called me. He didn’t give any details, but said he thought you might need some support from Brandt and me this morning.

I brought Cecy because I wasn’t sure if you’d need cuddles too. ”

Glancing over at the sleeping dragonet, I admit to myself that it might be easier to recount this whole mess to my friends if I had the baby as a distraction. She’s asleep, however, and we all learned the hard way never to wake her when she’s sleeping, so I’m on my own.

I wait until we’re all seated, and then launch into my story, keeping my voice low so I don’t disturb naptime. Brandt opens his mouth to say something at a few points, but each time Percy gives a firm shake of the head, and he closes it again.

“…and then I left, and Eoin drove me home,” I finish.

Brandt glances at his better half. “Can I speak yet?”

“Only if you’re going to be helpful and supportive.”

The dragon smiles. “Oh, good.” He looks at me. “I’m sure you feel like this is a disaster, but it’s not that bad.”

I squint at him. “That was you being supportive?” It missed the mark.

“You can stop speaking now,” Percy tells him, but Brandt shakes his head.

“No, listen. Your Jared was accepting of the community. When you and Sam told him everything, he was shocked, but he didn’t reach for a torch and pitchfork. He wants to learn more—he’s coming here so he can become part of the community.”

“Thank you for summarizing what I just told you.” I’m not sure where he’s going with this, but I wish he’d hurry up so Percy can say comforting things.

“You’re missing the point. People like you here.

There’s nobody in these offices or CSG’s who doesn’t hold you in the highest regard.

They respect you, they like you, and they’ll say good things about you.

That’s going to reinforce all the nice feelings he had about you before last night, which leaves us with an open-minded and accepting human who wants to be with you and will have his doubts assuaged.

” He leans back in his chair with a smirk.

“It’s not that bad. The only downside is the wait. ”

Is he right? I look at Percy, refusing to let hope rise without a sane opinion.

The former lucifer purses his lips. “He’s got a point,” he concedes, and hope soars . “That doesn’t mean we can’t help the situation along a little.”