Page 63 of Wonder

And her gaze… it’s glassy. Distant.

As if she’s not in this room at all.

The others are focused on Buck. I can hear them bringing him around, talking to him, as she sits with her hands wrapped around her knees and something that looks a little too close to terror in her eyes.

I know what it feels like to lose a twin.

Kayden tenses as I get up. But he follows as I cross the floor to her, sinking down onto my haunches. “Alyss?”

I keep my voice gentle. Soft. Behind me, the activity stops. “What are you doing?”

I hear Kayden muttering as I reach for her hand. It’s like ice, her fingers wrapped so tightly around her knees that it takes me several seconds to peel them free, to take them in mine as I try to warm them. “Hey, sweetheart. You with me?”

She doesn’t look at me at all. At any of us.

Chess pushes in beside me. “Lyss?”

I study her, study the sweat beading on her brow, the light shaking of her shoulders. “She’s having a flashback. Bad memories.”

“How the hell would you know?” But he sees it too.

Because I know exactly what that feels like.

He takes her other hand, both of us trying to warm her. Chess glances over his shoulder to where Buck is stirring. “He’s alright, baby. Buck is fine.”

“I don’t think she’s seeing Buck,” I murmur. Her eyes flicker, watching a movie none of us are privy to. “Why would seeing him seize give her a flashback?”

I’m not expecting an answer. It’s none of my business.

But Chess goes still next to me. His next words are filled with something. Grief, maybe. “Oh, Lyss.”

He sounds as if his heart is breaking. I keep rubbing her hand, trying to anchor her. “You’re okay. It’s not real, Alyss. It’s not really happening.”

Slowly, my movement gentle, I reach for her cold cheek, cupping it. “Take a breath for me. Okay?”

It doesn’t seem as if she’s breathing at all, every muscle locked in terror. But slowly, she drags in a ragged-sounding breath.

“That’s it. Good girl. Again.”

She takes another, then another as I encourage her. My heart thumps inside my chest. “Good. Can you look at me?”

Slowly, so fucking slowly, her eyes slide to mine.

They fill as we stare at each other. And my heart breaks for her, as a tear trails down her cheek.

I know exactly what that feels like.

She saved my twin.

But she lost hers.

And of all the people here, perhaps Kayden and I are the only ones who could truly understand what it feels like to have half of your own soul torn away from you.

When she crumples, I’m the only one close enough to catch her. And her sobs – her shuddering, silent sobs, they fucking shred me as I pull her into me, sliding my legs around until she’s curled against my chest and I’m gripping her tightly. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

She’s not okay. We both know it. But I say it anyway. I say it over and over again.

My eyes lock with Chess’s. He looks fuckingdevastated, as though her tears have punched a hole directly through the center of his chest.