Page 100 of Woman on the Verge

Too busy. You?

The woman at the front desk of the pediatrician’s office says she can see Liv in a half hour. I take the girls out into the courtyard of the building, hoping their imaginations will run wild enough to grant me a few minutes of peace.

Him: Busy here too. I notice I like texting you when I’m a bit stressed. You calm me, remind me what’s important

“Mommy, be the monster!” Grace yells, just as I sit on the edge of a planter box. She starts to run away from me. “Come get us!”

If I ever go back to working on my résumé, I’m going to put “the Monster” as my most recent job title.

“Grace, not right now,” I say.

“Monsta!” Liv shouts.

“Pleeeease,” Grace says with her little prayer hands.

“Go look at the pond,” I tell them, pointing to a koi pond that should interest them for at least five minutes.

They walk over, and I realize this is a horrible idea.

“Girls, please don’t touch the fish!” I yell.

This is why Elijah and I cannot have phone conversations. This is why we cannot FaceTime.

Me: You are the most pleasant distraction for me too

Grace takes off her shoes and socks and steps into the pond.

“Grace, no.”

She does not even lift her head to show she’s heard me.

“Grace!”

Him: You are the sexiest woman I’ve ever met

Liv is now copying her sister, taking off her shoes and socks. She sticks both her hands in the water. They have given me no choice but to intervene.

“Girls, I saidNo. Stop.”

I grab Grace by the arm, harder than necessary, maybe harder than I ever have.

“Oww!” she screams, insta-tears flooding her eyes.

She looks at me with the same terror Kyle did when I got in his face and told him not to tell me to calm down.

I am the Monster.

I release her arm, and she wraps her fingers around it, grimacing.

“Mommy hurt Gracie,” Liv says.

“Honey, Grace is fine,” I tell her. “Right, Grace?”

Grace is still holding her arm, looking at me with what can only be described as betrayal in her eyes.

“You girls weren’t listening,” I say, explaining myself. “That pond is full of bacteria.”

Grace continues sniffling.