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Five o'clock in the morning and still I haven't got any sleep. At six, I'll have to get up and do training with the soon-to-be Alpha and Beta of our Pack. Nights like these where I never get any sleep because of my thoughts are only around one thing...

Will I ever find my mate? I'm searching for them since my 21st birthday.

Every wolfshifter has a soulmate, chosen by the moongoddes herself.

Your mate is like the last piece of a puzzle, that's fitting in your heart and soul.

The other half make you a whole. Jake, my best friend and current Alpha of our pack, found her soulmate on the spot on his 24th Birthday.

Since he is an Alpha, he had to wait longer than me to gain a chance to find his mate.

But still he got her... Eliza is a beautiful wolf and caring Luna of the pack.

I'm so happy for them both. Seeing them together always is giving me a warmth feeling, but still.

.. it made me always kind of envy... 'cause I couldn't feel this way.

.. ?I share your pain... But maybe we'll find them someday.

..?,Fenrir my wolf sighs. I did not answer, because I do not believe in that any more.

They also have a son. Jackson will turn 24 in October. He's grown to a strong man by now and will take over the Pack as soon as he finds his mate. His chosen Beta is, as usually for an Alpha, his best friend Mark, who also happens to be my son.

And yeah. Even though I've never found my Mate, I have a son. He is quite younger than the soon-to-be Alpha, with only 19 years old. I'm and his Mother, never been a couple, married or stuff like that. It just was casual sex, and he was never planned, but I love him either way.

The fact his mother is a human was kind of a scandal that time. But with permission of the council, I was allowed to explain everything to her, and we shared a type of ?parentship?.

Mark primarily lived with his Mom till his first shift, when he was seven years old.

By then we took turns. When he turned 16 and should become a sixth-former, he moved to our pack and have been going to the pack's own school, where I'm myself teaching survival training, sports and business management.

Our school system is a bit different compared to the casual way in the UK.

Every Shifter comes after their O-level GCSE to our special school.

They do their A-levels normally after upper sixth.

But they've to stay here for mostly three to five more years.

It's like a combined Sixth form and higher education school type.

They also can do their bachelor and master here. Even become a doctor, cause no human university could teach you the anatomy of a wolfshifter.

The new school year will start in a few days, but the Alpha told me to do extra training with Jackson and Mark in order to prepare them for their new roles in the pack.

I sigh and get up. I need tea... immediately! Likewise, I was never the kind of person, who drinks coffee in the morning. I prefer black tea to get my so much needed caffeine.

I shamble down the stairs and expect my yawning, the house is complete silent. No noises, not from my boy's room, and even the wooden stairs do not dare to crack under my feet. I walk inside the kitchen and grab a mug from the shelf and put it on the kitchen area.

After that I take the kettle and fill it with water from the tap, put it back and turn the switch. While I'm waiting for the water to boil, I grab a teabag and stare out of the window in the yard.

I need to mow the lawn... time is passing and my thoughts drifting back to my non-existing mate.

I've always imagined how they could look.

If my mate was a woman, I imagined curly red hair and the freckles above her nose.

Her laughing would be like a bird chirping, and her body would be absolutely gorgeous.

If I got a male mate, I thought about something totally different.

He would be shy, kind and also a bit cheeky.

Even though I'm totally fine with being bi, I never imagined how he possibly could look.

The whistling kettle brought me back to reality and I pure the hot water in the mug.

Forget about it William. You're 43 now. Too old to find your mate...