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16

Jax

I hated phone calls.

I didn’t often want to strip off my clothes and take off howling for the nearest forest, but phone calls made the drive to go wild near irresistible.

Doubly so when they were with Igarashi.

We were trying to schedule our next meeting. Our office needed more time to refine the wording on the contracts, and Igarashi Jiro didn’t want to stay in the States any longer than necessary.

“Of course we don’t want Ms. McCallan concerned over her legacy, but I’m sure this is a misunderstanding.” Igarashi Jiro’s voice was smooth and ingratiating, meant to put me at ease. Something about it had my hair on end instead. “I don’t see what you’re worried about here.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and pinned my phone between my ear and shoulder. “Our translation lacks clarity on the rights of our partners.”

Igarashi sighed. “It’s unnecessary for you to have a translator. We have people for this. We’ll draw up new contracts in English for you if that’s a concern.”

I hummed. “That’d be greatly appreciated. Nevertheless, we’ll need a few more days to bring Ms. McCallan’s contract and this new one in line with each other, so we’ll meet next Tuesday.”

Igarashi was too polite to sigh. I didn’t even hear annoyance in his voice. “Delightful. We’ll look forward to it.”

I’d hardly hung up the phone when Jillian was at my door, arms crossed and smirk on her lips. “You okay?”

I leaned back in my chair and shrugged heavily. “Talking to Igarashi. I’m worried about Prudence’s agreement with us. If they’re trying to?—”

Jill stepped into my office and shut the door softly behind her. “Dakota caught it. You’re not barreling blindly ahead, Jax. This’ll be fine. It’s just going to take negotiation.”

At the mere mention of Dakota, I flinched. “I should terminate his contract.”

Jill huffed and crossed her arms. “You’re not serious.”

I sighed, scrubbing the heel of my palm over my closed eyelids. “No, I’m not.” Of course I wasn’t—Dakota had told me what he wanted already. I’d have to be a real piece of shit to deny us both when he’d been so clear. “I trust him. I don’t trust Igarashi. We need him around.”

And if I were a good leader of Crescent, or a good leader of my pack, that would be the main reason I wanted to keep him around.

It wasn’t. I wanted him in the halls. I wanted him where I could smell him and know he felt safe, where I could hear his heartbeat if I got close enough, where he was mine.

Except he wasn’t mine, couldn’t ever be fully mine, and I needed to get a handle on myself if we were going to keep up this balancing act of working together and having him in my bed.

Dakota simply didn’t understand what he was risking. It’d be one thing if he’d spent a life among mages and decided they were not worth his concern, like Prudence had. Instead, he knew even less about them than I’d assumed on first meeting, and the longer we kept this up, the more I could hurt him.

“Every werewolf in this building is going to know I’m sleeping with him,” I admitted, dropping my hands. “They’ll smell it.”

And any one of them might decide to try and hold that fact over Igarashi the next time one of their people turned their nose up at one of mine. It’d put me in an awkward position, and it’d be worse for Dakota.

Jillian shrugged. “It’s a big deal when the alpha takes a m?—”

I growled. “Don’t say that.”

She arched a dark brow at me, pursed her lips. “You’ve thought about it.”

The terrible truth was that I had . Every time I held him close, every time I pressed into his body and felt that first full breath he took as he reshaped his world around me—yeah, I thought about it.

“If I bite him, he loses all of what he is.”

My sister didn’t say anything, but the sarcastic twist of her lips had disappeared behind a terse line.

“He could die,” I said. “It’s not like I can keep him, so what would—what would be the point of him risking everything for... what? A few more nights with me?”

Jill looked at me with so much pity I couldn’t stand it, like she wanted to tell me that a few more nights with me was worth all that risk, even though we both knew that was bullshit.

The best thing for Dakota would be to pull away and get to know himself and his people before he committed to half measures with me.

“It doesn’t matter,” I mumbled. “I’m not terminating his contract or sending him away.”

I was too damn selfish for that.

Maybe we really were what the mages thought, us werewolves. Clearly, I was being led around by the nose, instinct ruling over good sense or genuine kindness.

No, before I’d known Dakota was ignorant of the whole magical world, I’d just felt a thrill of victory at taking him home from the club. I wasn’t a leader; I was a beast.

And the worst thing I could do in the aftermath was punish him for it.

Truth was, whatever Dakota needed, if he’d ask it of me, I’d do my very best to give it to him.

Just the thought had my lips twitching toward a smile. “You know something they don’t talk about with mages?”

Jillian lifted her head. “What?”

“They can really eat. Their magic burns through them fast. I’ve never seen anybody put food away like Dakota.”

She snorted. “And you like that?”

A sound too like a purr rumbled in my chest. “Fuck yeah. It’s crazy, but my wolf loves it. Last night, he was on his sixth piece of pizza before he realized I was watching, and he smiled kind of—like, you know, like he was embarrassed? But my wolf was just so goddamn proud we’d provided for him. I don’t know.” I groaned, dropping my head against her arm when she came over to squeeze my shoulder. “He’d fit so well if it weren’t for?—”

“All the shit that makes him fit so well meaning you can’t actually keep him.”

I couldn’t say anything to that, just sigh.

I might be doomed, destined to get hurt, but for now at least, Dakota needed me. As long as that lasted, at least I could hold onto a piece of him.