Page 35 of Witchbane

He was very quiet and still, which was odd for my mate who almost always vibrated with energy and strength. He’d been a wolf a long time. Did he remember what it was to be human with ordinary strength?

He had his face down and turned away, but I took hold of his shirt and tugged him my way. There were tears on his cheeks. I gasped and cupped his face, kissing him.

“Liam.”

“I thought I’d be able to protect you. But not like this.” He held his hands out. “How will this help you? It was all I had.”

I stroked his face. “What was all you had? The wolf?”

“Strength.”

“Don’t be dense, Ulrich,” I growled, holding his face firmly in my hands and kissing away his tears. “I love you and your stupid face. Wolf or not.Youare what grounds me, helps me focus, gives me a home.Youare my strength. It’s not because you’re an alpha and usually have a werewolf in there ready to tear something’s face off.”

He sucked in air and stared at me, gaze intense like he was searching my face for lies. He’d find none. He was it for me. Wolf or not.

“Plus, you’re kind of hot,” I teased.

“Kind of?” Liam whispered, processing my words.

“Super-duper hot.” Touching him helped clear away some of the confusion of the kitsune battering at me. Instead of lunging and fighting, it seemed to pause and focus on Liam. Not in a bad way, I thought, more like it was parsing out which box Liam fit in. I really hoped the kitsune got the memo that he was ours and hurting him was a bad idea. “I’d do you, even in a cabin in Underhill with the world blazing around us.” I kissed him breathless, letting our breath mingle for a minute. “Get it out of your stupid head that I need you only because you are an alpha werewolf. Do you know how many werewolf alpha’s I’ve met in my life? How many alpha assholes who didn’t even have the benefit of being werewolves? Dicks are everywhere. There’s only one you. And you are mine.”

“I thought it was something. Since I don’t have magic. That being strong would be enough to keep you safe. A reason for all the madness of being a werewolf.”

“I have karate lessons regularly,” I reminded him. “I can kick-ass just fine on my own.”

“And that’s going to help you against fae monsters how?” Liam inquired.

“It’s about as useful as you having the ability to lift and throw cars in a world that doesn’t have them,” I pointed out.

“Good point.” He nodded, nuzzling his face into my neck. “I’m sorry. I should have been better prepared. I even left our backpacks behind.”

“We were running for our lives. What the fuck was that?”

He shook his head as he clung to me, and I could feel his frown where his lips rested against my throat. It was strange having him, who was usually the confident one of us, feeling lost and uncertain. He was more than muscles and sharp teeth. He was wit and charm, intelligence and kindness, wrapped up in a pretty package. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

I tugged on his hair until he was looking at me. “I love you,” I said and stared at him for a minute before guiding him back to the little nest he’d made by the fire. He was shivering, and I didn’t think it was cold. Shock, perhaps? Being stripped of his wolf and left in a world where magic had not only gone wild, but insane? That was scary even to me and I was part of that insane magic.

The blankets were warm and soft, smelling a bit musty. Curling up in Liam’s arms, and wrapping them around us, felt good. Grounding, even with the kitsune still pacing and confused. It was close. I wondered if I went outside and tried to let the kitsune out, if it would burst free and destroy everything, or make me feel better? I didn’t like the idea of leaving Liam alone. What if the kitsune took over and left him there? He’d be helpless. Or worse, what if the kitsune took over and hurt him? I’d never forgive myself.

Liam’s arms around me tightened. Could he still hear my thoughts? If he did, he didn’t say anything, simply draped himself around me, like I was the only thing holding him together. I’d never seen him this uneasy. He was my rock.

“Liam?”

“I’m okay,” he lied. It was a platitude. We both knew it. But I didn’t call him out on it, because he was adjusting to the lack of a deadly beast tearing him up, that didn’t mean it was all that different from me trying to manage the one clawing its way out of me. “What’s it feel like to use too much magic?”

“It’s sort of like my soul is an overworked muscle.” I ached to the very core of my being.

“Ouch,” Liam said. “Rest. I’ve got you.”

“Was there any food in here?” I asked trying to refocus our thoughts. Liam should eat at least, especially if he was human now.

“Not that I found. Only the blankets and some worn clothes.”

“There’s a sign that says to wait until someone comes? Tell me what you remember. Does it say who? How long it will take? Is it safe to stay here? Was the fire already lit when you came inside?”

“Not sure it’s safe anywhere else. As soon as we crossed over, you passed out. I couldn’t wake you, no matter how hard I tried.” He breathed deeply, a steadying breath. “And the smoke... I already couldn’t breathe from running hard. Then the smoke. It was like a weight on my chest. Everything was dark and full of shadows.” Liam didn’t sound happy.

“First time in Underhill seems to do a number on all of us,” I said, recalling my first trip in which I’d lost time and then become the kitsune demon form. “Dropped in the middle of some sort of fire doesn’t sound fun.” I gripped his hand. “Were you hurt? Burned?”