Page 18

Shawn

W as this the moment he panicked? Where he told me to fuck off, or even worse, hit me again?

“Daniel? Babe?”

He blinked at me a few times but didn’t move. We sat there in awkward silence as my thoughts rushed a million miles a minute inside my head. Was it too much? Did I push him too far? He’d said he’d wanted it, but he’d also said he’d wanted to talk. I’d pushed him away from talking to settle my own selfish desires.

When he still didn’t respond, I rolled off him. Was he all right? The longer he lay there staring at the ceiling, I wondered if I’d short-circuited his brain.

“Is it—is it always like that?”

His words were quiet, a mumbled question. I wasn’t even sure if he was asking me directly or if it was rhetorical.

“You all right?”

When Daniel finally rolled to his side to face me, those deep brown eyes swirled with so many questions. I probably wasn’t the best person for him to experiment with. I was definitely a fan of the hit-it-and-quit-it lifestyle, but there was something about him that had me debating if that was something I wanted to keep doing. Maybe it was because he was making me work so hard for it.

“Fine. More than fine. Jesus .”

Daniel rolled onto his back again, and I mourned the loss of being able to read his expression.

“You sure about that?”

He laughed, running a hand down his face before tilting his head to look at me once more. “Yeah. I mean, wow. Fucking shit, dude. I just need a moment to process, is all.”

I sucked on my bottom lip and studied him for a moment. So this wasn’t a freak-out. That was great, but it didn’t mean he was super happy about things, either. My thoughts continued to spiral, thinking up all the worst-case scenarios. Maybe Daniel snapped out of his post-orgasm haze and realized what had just happened, who I was, and remembered that he hated me.

That wasn’t what happened. When Daniel rolled toward me again, I couldn’t help the flinch when his hand reached toward my face. He frowned as he trailed his fingers down my jaw, marring his handsome face. “Can I—can I kiss you again?” Daniel swallowed audibly after his question, and his fingers trembled against my skin.

After all of that, this guy was still nervous.

“Yes. Fuck yes. Wholeheartedly yes.”

Daniel chuckled before gently slapping my chest with the back of his hand. He leaned in close and brushed his lips against mine. They were soft and oh-so hesitant. There was no rush or sense of urgency in this. There was no end goal of sex, just the simple sampling of our mouths.

When Daniel pulled back, his cheeks had a soft pink hue. There was something special about him being so embarrassed and unsure. I wanted to bottle up these moments and savor them. The fear still sat in the back of my mind as he turned and gave me his back. He didn’t crawl from the bed, just lay there and a strange silence fell across the room.

Could I touch him again? Would that be crossing a line? We weren’t the guys who snuggled. Right?

“I can hear you thinking, Shawn. Get your ass over here.”

I huffed a laugh as I scooted closer. Daniel was still naked, and my sweats were sticky. I kicked them down my legs and prayed that he didn’t mind the extra contact.

When my arm slid around his trim waist and the bare skin of my thighs met his, Daniel let out a contented little sigh, pressing further back into me. We were snuggling. What the actual fuck? We’d gone from almost punching each other to holding each other within a day. Talk about whiplash.

T he body under me stiffened enough to wake me up.

“Shawn.”

I cracked one eye open, but Daniel didn’t seem to be freaked out that he was in bed with me. He focused his gaze on something in front of him.

“What’s up, babe?”

He didn’t move at first, but then slowly started to relax. “It’s Nacho. It’s going to take me some getting used to having a fucking cat in my space.”

I rested my chin on his shoulder to see the kitten had curled up in front of him. He was fast asleep and had no idea what sort of mental chaos he was causing for my bedmate.

It wasn’t often, if ever, that I woke up with someone in bed with me. I sort of liked having Daniel there with me. He nestled nicely against me, as if our bodies were made to fit perfectly together.

When I turned my head and kissed Daniel’s neck, a shiver raced through his body. I’d done that. He responded so nicely to my touch and I was tempted to discover if he’d let me do more than the blow job.

“Your space? I think this is my bed.”

And there was Daniel, locking up all over again. That was what pushed him too far. I stared in shock as he pushed away from me, scaring the cat, who scrambled out of the room.

Daniel hunted for his clothes, finding his boxers, and shoving them on. He looked at me because I hadn’t moved from my place on the bed. What the hell was I supposed to do? Pull him back and beg him to stay? It wasn’t my style, and this was the freakout I had expected earlier.

“This—this shouldn’t have happened.” Daniel ran a hand through his hair, looking so damn conflicted. His gaze bounced between the door and me. His fingers flexed against the clothes he held in his fist. If I told him to drop them and get his ass back in bed, would he?

“You wanted it.”

Mistake number two.

Daniel shook his head as he backed away from me and out the door of my room. When he didn’t come back, something slimy settled into my chest. Had I ever made someone feel like that? That I’d used them and then discarded them? It wasn’t a fun feeling, that was for sure.

I sat up, still staring at the door, giving a small, startled jump when Daniel’s bedroom door slammed closed.

While I thought things had been getting better, maybe I’d just made them all so much worse.

Nacho let out a small mew as he jumped on the bed again. He nudged my arm with his head, purring loudly and begging for attention. It was hard to stay in such a sour mood when the little guy was so damn cute. And I still needed to feed him.

Instead of wallowing in my worries about Daniel, I grabbed the kitten and carried him to the pantry in the kitchen. I didn’t have cat food, but there had to be something he could eat. I scanned the shelves and settled on a can of tuna. The fish was smelly, and I didn’t really care for it, but my parents always kept some around. Something about it being a staple and good for emergencies. Guess this was one of those times I was grateful they had it.

I set Nacho on the counter and opened the can. My nose wrinkled as soon as the smell hit my nostrils. Didn’t seem to bother the cat. The second he caught a whiff, he started meowing and pawing at me excitedly. The poor thing was probably starving. There was no way to tell when the last time he ate was.

The second I set the can down next to him, Nacho attacked it. Did all cats come into this world knowing how to eat canned fish? It didn’t seem like something you had to teach them. And now that the cat-feeding situation was taken care of, I could find out what was going on with Daniel.