Page 32 of Win You Over

Holden

R emington’s phone rings from its spot on the desk. He doesn’t so much as flinch.

It’s really fucking early, and I’d be annoyed at it waking me if not for the fact that I’ve been up for a while, watching the sun rise through the cracks in the curtains, relishing in the way Remi’s hair glows golden in the morning light.

Like he’s too magnificent to be real. I run a finger over his nose, and he scrunches it up and nuzzles closer into my neck.

When it rings again, I sigh, lift his arm off my chest, slide out of bed and walk over to the desk, turning down the ringer as I look at the screen to see Finn’s name.

It stops ringing seconds before starting up again.

It’s not the first time he’s called or messaged in the days since they last spoke.

But for whatever reason, Remington has chosen not to answer.

When I asked, he told me they’d catch up when we’re back.

There’s a part of me that feels bad for Finn. He clearly feels something for Remi – friendship or more – and it must hurt to be shut out like this. That’s the only reason I can come up with for why he’s stopped in to see Theo twice.

The closer we get to the end of our holiday, the more thoughts of what happens when we’re home surface.

Finn is his best friend , regardless of what I am to him.

Finn came first. That has to count for something.

It’s not like I’d ever make him choose one of us over the other, but can the same be said for Finn?

Glancing behind me, I take in Remington’s naked form, his head on my pillow and his body star-fished across the bed. My body is slick with sweat where he pasted himself to me in the night.

He never stops touching me now. Whether we’re awake or asleep, alone or with company, he touches me.

Pecks on the cheek, a pinky twisted with mine, or his hand in my hair.

Remington touches me like I might fade away if he doesn’t.

And I breathe it in, inhaling his affection like air.

I don’t want to go back to my pre-Remi life.

Not now that I know what it’s like to be wanted and adored.

Not now that I know what his skin tastes like or the noises he makes when he’s cresting the edge of orgasm.

Not now that I know how much pleasure his fingers can bring or how much his smile warms every dark corner of my soul.

Pushing the hair out of my eyes, I look at him one last time, tracing the lines of muscle down his back before leaving the room and closing the door behind me.

The house is quiet, and when I step out onto the patio, I’m met with the fresh scent of the sea.

This is my favourite part of the day – apart from the times I’m wrapped up in the arms of the blond with the big smile and the wicked mouth.

I take a seat on one of the plush sofas, putting my feet up on the table in front of me. From here, I have a beautiful view of the turquoise sea, stretching to infinity.

Tomorrow is the wedding, and then we have two more days on the island before we head back to the States. There’s a big part of me that never wants to leave. But I’m not a dreamer. I know that’s not a possibility. Life awaits us back home in Marina Cove.

As it is, I’ll have to pull double shifts to bring my bank balance to where it needs to be to cover next month’s rent.

Worth it though. Coming here with Remington, getting to know his family, discovering things about my sexuality I hadn’t known before; it has all been worth it. And if my heart gets broken on our return, it still will have been worth it.

I startle when the patio door opens and Nadine steps out, dressed in pink tartan pjs.

“Can’t sleep?” she asks as she takes a seat next to me, mirroring my position.

I shake my head.

“Me either.” She looks out to the horizon, where the sky is waking up, turning the same shade of blue as the sea.

Blowing out a lungful of air, I clear my throat, then turn to face Nadine.

“Are you nervous?” I mumble, forcing myself to keep eye contact with her.

Nadine smiles.

“About the wedding?”

I nod.

“No. The wedding will be fine. It’s the marriage I’m nervous about.”

She rests her head on my shoulder, the move making me tense for a moment.

Outside of Theo, and now Remi, I don’t have any friendships where people are affectionate with me – not in the way that seems to come so easily to the Langfords.

And when Nadine’s soft hair brushes my cheek, and she sighs loudly, my body relaxes against the sofa, realising how nice this connection is, how amazing it is to have one more person in my life who makes me feel comfortable.

If I’d have had someone like Nadine in my corner, maybe I would have felt less alone growing up.

“Why?” I ask in a whisper.

“Because what if I’m not very good at it?”

I laugh, then place a hand on her knee. She’s just like her brother. These Langford kids need to learn that you cannot excel at everything. You can be mediocre, you can exist without people liking you, you can fail and still survive.

Not that I think she won’t be a great wife. I’ve seen her and Rupert together these past few days and they are the picture perfect image of love and respect.

“Cold feet,” I say in reply.

Nadine chuckles. “Yeah, you’re right, that’s all this is. I’ll be a fucking incredible wife.”

God, two peas in a pod, the Langford siblings.

Nadine turns my arm over, tracing a finger over a heart drawn on my forearm.

“He is determined to mark you, isn’t he?”

I follow the path of her finger, taking in the tiny yellow, blue and black hearts on my skin.

He’s been drawing them on my body every day since that night I finally let him see all of me.

Those, along with the teeth marks on my thighs and the purple love bites on my hips, are the scrapbook of our time together this summer.

Her finger stops at an indecipherable image in the fold of my arm.

“What is this?”

“A bee.”

Nadine sits up, scrunching her eyes to get a better look before belting out a laugh.

“It looks like a flying cookie! Oh my gosh, do not let him convince you to get this as a tattoo.” She covers her mouth with a hand, then places her head back on my shoulder.

“Hey Holden.”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t break his heart, okay?”

I shake my head, watching as a gecko flits along the wall leading down to the pool. I’m certain he’d break mine long before I could his.

I’m not sure how long we sit in silence, watching the gecko and the sea, before a rustling of pots and pans carries out the window from the kitchen where clearly someone else is awake.

Following the sound, we find Charlene preparing breakfast.

“Morning, you two,” she greets us, while breaking eggs into a plastic bowl. “I’m making French toast. Come, keep me company.”

Charlene points to the stool at the kitchen island, and I pull it out and take a seat, while Nadine makes coffee. The rich aroma of the beans soon filling the air and making my stomach rumble.

Nadine turns on music, dancing around the kitchen while she pulls out condiments from the cupboards. Charlene adds milk, then dips sliced croissants into the mixture before placing them in a frying pan.

And me? I watch them. Soaking in the love and happiness that exists in abundance in every member of this family.

“Baby,” a gravelly voice says, and I turn to find Remington leaning against the doorframe. He’s topless, blue shorts hugging his thick thighs. “What ya doing?”

He closes the distance between us, slides his hand up the back of my neck, threading his fingers into my hair, then pulls me into a kiss.

His lips move gently against mine, his tongue making tentative swipes across the seam.

Tasting. Savouring. There’s no heat – not like there is when we’re alone.

This is different. This kiss is reverent. Meaningful.

“Remi,” I whisper into his mouth. He makes a happy noise at the back of his throat before he’s smiling against my lips. He kisses me one last time, then pulls away. His eyes are glossy, and there’s the remnant of sleep wrinkles on one cheek.

“If you’re done eating your boyfriend,” Nadine interrupts. “Mom’s made breakfast.”

“Bridezilla!” Remi remarks. “Not long now until you’re walking down that aisle, marrying the third hottest guy in the room.” He gives his sister a wink, and she swats him with a tea towel.

Curtis walks in, kisses his wife on the head, then helps her carry the tray of French toast and freshly cut fruit to the kitchen table. We all take a seat, the cinnamon-sweet scent filling the air.

“Try this,” Remington suggests, handing me a jar. “It’s eucalyptus honey, made right here on the island.”

I spoon a healthy amount onto my toasted croissant, then take a bite. It’s unlike anything I’ve tasted before. Sweet, as you’d expect, but with a subtle earthy bitterness.

Remi is watching me, waiting expectantly, like he’s just handed me a gift that he cannot wait for me to enjoy.

Sweat beads on the back of my neck as I look at every person at the table before finally answering.

“So good,” I reply quietly.

“Knew you’d like it,” he remarks, his face bright with a smile. He closes the jar and then, after a quick glance around he hides it in his pocket. He winks at me, then leans in until his lips linger on my ear. “For later.”

Well, fuck. Okay.

“What are your plans for today?” Charlene asks. Remi’s hand finds my knee under the table, and he rests it there, his fingers tickling the inside of my thigh.

“I have a surprise for Holden,” he replies.

My mind flits to the jar hidden in his pocket and I suddenly cannot wait to find out what my surprise is.

“Come closer,” Remi says, holding a hand out for me as he stands near the edge of the cliff overlooking the sea below, with only a small wooden barrier between him and a sloped drop.

The view is breathtaking – sparkling blue sea that seems to stretch for miles, bordered by sandy beaches, thick shrubbery of bright flowers and sharp rocky outcrops – but I can see it well enough from where I am.

Hiking to a very high point to look at this terrifying plummet was not what I had in mind when he said surprise.

Not that the hike up was bad. That had been really enjoyable. Taking us longer than it should have because we kept stopping to steal kisses.

“I’m good,” I say, then wipe the sweat beading on the back of my neck.

Remi stands with his back to the world and his eyes on me.

“You scared of heights, leeutjie ?”

“It’s a perfectly understandable fear to have,” I remark defensively.

He laughs. “You jumped off the side of a boat. That didn’t scare you.”

“That was a lot different.”

Remi steps towards me. “Take my hand, baby.”

I swallow thickly, my hand hovering next to my side.

“Trust me,” he says. “I’ll never let you fall.”

That’s the thing, isn’t it? I do trust Remi. More than I ever thought possible.

Sliding my hand into his, I let him urge me forward, until he spins us, and wraps his arms around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder. My stomach somersaults when I take in the view at our feet.

“It’s like we’re the only two people left, standing on the edge of the world,” he whispers, his words sending shivers down my spine.

The view is something else, and though my legs shake thanks to the enormity of the drop below us, causing me to lean back into Remi’s hold, I can’t deny that standing here with him is incredible.

“It’s amazing,” I say, placing my hands over his, where they rest on my stomach. “Thank you for showing me.” I don’t mean just this view, but everything that’s happened on this trip. Not only has he shown me who he really is, he’s helped show me who I am.

“Thank you for pretending to be my boyfriend,” Remington says.

“Any time,” I joke, and he holds me a little tighter. “What are you afraid of?”

“Nothing,” he replies, not even considering the question.

“Bullshit,” I reply. “Everyone is scared of something.”

“Hmmm,” Remi hums, kissing my neck. “Okay. People not liking me. Losing my family. And spiders.”

“Why do you care so much about people liking you?” I ask.

He turns his hand and twines our fingers together.

“My grandmother hates me. Well, us. But Nadine couldn’t care less.”

“But you do?”

He shrugs, his chest moving against my back.

“More than I should. I guess I just don’t want the list to grow.”

“I like you,” I say, hating how sad his voice has become.

“I know. Why wouldn’t you?” he jokes, making me chuckle.

There’s a noise behind us and we turn towards it right as a group of hikers make their way from the path we followed up moments before.

“Wait here,” Remi says, letting go of me. I instinctively take two steps away from the edge. I watch as he greets the hikers, passes them his phone and rushes over to me.

His hands find my waist, and he leans forward and presses our lips together.

“Smile, baby,” he says, and I do, my lips curving upward to match his.

When we finally separate, Remi thanks the person who took our photo and we head down the other side of the path, his hand wrapped in mine.

“What happens when we get back home?” I ask, deciding it’s time we finally put a name to this thing between us.

We step around a broken log, heading to the left into the thicker, taller shrubbery. Remington pauses at one point to pick one of the pink flowers, which he hands to me with a smile.

“I want to be with you,” Remi admits.

“But?”

“No buts. I want to be with you. It’s as simple as that.”

Butterflies flitter in my stomach, a feral mix of fear and excitement. If only it were that easy. I twist the stem of the flower between my fingers.

“What about Finn? And the rest of your friends?”

Remi sighs. “Finn will come around. I’ve told you before, he really isn’t a bad guy.”

My excitement recedes at his words. Remington will always wear blinders where Finn is concerned.

“Have you spoken to him lately?”

Remi shrugs. “We’ve sent a few messages back and forth. He’s fine. I promise, it’ll all work out.”

“I guess we’ll see,” I reply, my shoulders slumping. Maybe my time with this real Remington is coming to an end. Why does that thought hurt so fucking much?