Page 28 of Win You Over

Holden

C rinkling my nose, I gesture to Remington’s ice cream.

“Why?”

We’re back on the yacht after stopping on the island of La Maddalena for lunch and picking up gelato for the return trip.

He’s splayed out on his stomach on the yacht’s decking, swiping a small grape candy through his vanilla gelato before popping it in his mouth and taking another from the bag on the deck next to him.

“Ah… because they’re delicious?” His eyebrows pull together as if he doesn’t understand why I’d ask.

I shake my head, then lick the melting goat ricotta and honey gelato from the side of my cone, savouring the complimentary sweet and tangy flavours, while watching him devour the entire bag.

“Has anyone ever commented on how you look when you eat?”

Remington looks up at me, his eyes as blue as the sea surrounding us.

“Sexy?”

I purse my lips.

He crawls up the deck until he’s leaning over me, one arm on each side of my body, his lips hovering close to mine.

“I look sexy when I eat. That’s what you want to say, isn’t it?”

I shake my head, biting the inside of my cheek to hide a smile.

“Go on, leeutjie , tell me.” His tongue darts across my lips before he smirks in that wicked way that is all Remington.

“You eat like a wild animal. A starving wild animal.”

He laughs, deep and warm, and in a move I don’t see coming, takes my gelato from my hand and smears it on my neck.

“What the fuck?” I yelp as the cold, sticky dessert drips down my skin.

Remington dives forward and latches his mouth onto the area beneath my throat. A sharp bite of pain, a sign that he forgot his no marking rule, before he’s licking up the drops of gelato.

“I think you like me wild and untamed. Eager to devour you.” He’s not wrong. I throw my head back, like the prey that I am, submitting to the predator. When he bites me again, I push him away, both of us laughing.

I lean back, both hands on the deck, and Remington rests with his head on my thigh.

“The first time my parents brought us out here, I decided I wanted to be a fish scientist,” he admits.

“A marine biologist?” I ask, massaging my fingers into his scalp.

“Yeah, but I was seven. I didn’t know that word. Studying the ocean and fish sounded fun.”

“What happened to that dream?”

“Nadine told me I’d be eaten by a shark,” he replies. “The ocean kind of creeped me out after that.”

“And you believed her?”

“I was seven ! And she was my older, wiser sister.”

“Are you still scared of the ocean?” I ask with a smirk.

“No! I was literally swimming with you moments ago. I have a healthy amount of fear of it.”

“Ha!” I exclaim, trying but failing to hide my smirk. “Scared of little, tiny fishies. You’re not so perfect after all.”

“Fuck you,” he replies with a laugh before sinking his teeth into my thigh and making me squirm.

“Tell me something about you I don’t know,” Remington asks, his gaze settling on mine.

“Um…” I think over the things he already knows about me, which, to be fair, isn’t much. “Like what?”

His forehead creases before he answers. “Your favourite colour?”

“Black.”

“That was too easy. Favourite animal?”

“Bees. I really like bees. And honey. I fucking love honey.”

The smile that lifts on his face is golden, brighter than the sun.

“What would be your idea of a perfect first date?” he asks. No one has even taken enough interest in me for me to have even considered this. I bite my bottom lip and Remington taps my leg.

“That. Tell me what just came to your mind, right then?”

“Ok. We’d go somewhere quiet. Have a picnic. Or to an open air theatre. Something classic like A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

“And then?”

I look out at the sea and then back at him.

“We’d go to a thrift store and look for old records or vintage clothing. Then eat ice cream.” I shrug. “When I say it out loud, it all sounds a little ridiculous.”

Remington kisses my thigh, where he left the imprint of his teeth earlier.

“Sounds pretty perfect to me.”

We stay like that for a while, joking about the lies Remington’s sister told him as a child and talking about the things we like and don’t like.

I tell him about the record player I found and how I’m going to fix it up, and he tells me about a bookshop he once visited in Paris, all while the sun shines down on us and waves lap at the sides of the yacht.

His one hand plays with the hem of my t-shirt, while the other draws patterns along the exposed strip of skin.

His touch is electric, sparks igniting in my blood.

I never realised how starved of affection I was until Remington barged into my life.

I never realised how gentle touches could be when my only real experience had been torture.

“Can you take this off?” Remington asks, his lips following the trail his fingers were mapping on my skin. He tugs at the bottom of my t-shirt.

My breath gets caught in my throat and I shake my head. I can’t let him see me, not the parts that I keep hidden from everyone, including myself.

“You don’t have to hide from me,” he says, then kisses my stomach over my tee before laying his head back on my thigh.

As the yacht bobs on the sea, the air around us still, I admit to myself that if I want this thing between us to be real – which I do – maybe he needs to see me, really see me.

Maybe I need to give him the chance to walk away now, before things get serious.

Because he will walk away. No one could look at me and still want to be with me. I can’t even look at myself.

Tipping my head up, I lock my eyes on the cloudless sky as I drag my t-shirt up.

I sense Remington’s body move, his head leaving my lap.

Not that I can blame him. Now he knows that I’m damaged beneath my clothing.

For a second back on that island, I got to be the most beautiful man he’d ever seen.

It felt unreal, amazing, words I cling to as they melt into the ether.

Tears form at the corners of my eyes. It’s better he finds out now.

As much as it hurts, I know it’s for the best.

“Holden. Look at me.”

I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head, shame, disgust and fear pulsing through me.

“Holden. Baby, please.” His voice is gentle with not an ounce of the disgust I expected.

The sudden warmth and strong arms engulfing me take me by surprise and the tears I was holding back fall helplessly down my cheeks.

“I get if you don’t want…”

His hands find my cheeks before I can finish talking, his blue eyes fierce and blazing.

“You think I don’t want you anymore? Because of your scars?” Remington shakes his head, messy blond hair falling across his forehead. “Jesus, Holden.”

He pushes me down, my back hitting the deck with a thud, then rests his head on my heart, his hand splayed over my stomach. I’m grateful for the quiet that falls between us, even if I don’t know what happens next. Maybe I can pretend everything is as it was an hour ago.

It’s Remington who breaks the silence, his words cutting through my wishful thinking. “We’re nearly back at the marina. When we get back to the villa, we’ll talk about this. But make no mistake, Hold, this changes nothing .”

My phone buzzes with a message as soon as we reach the port. Remington is thanking Daniel, while I open it and read the message.

Theo: Guess who stopped by the cafe again today?

Me: What did he want?

I have no idea what’s going on with Finn – there’s something unnerving about him stopping by Theo’s place of work twice in such a short space of time.

Theo: He asked if I had heard from you. If I knew when you would be back. I told him to fuck off again.

I snort. Of course, that’s what Theo would do.

Me: Thanks, Theo. I guess he’s missing Remi.

Dots appear on the screen before they stop and then start again.

Theo: Maybe. Just gives me a bad feeling for some reason.

Me: Don’t worry about it. I’ll tell Remi to call him and check in.

I end the chat with Theo right as Remington walks over to me and we stroll down the marina to the parking.

“Finn stopped by to see Theo again,” I say.

“Odd,” Remi replies, his voice distant and his gaze in the distance.

“Maybe you should call him,” I suggest as we climb into the car.

Remington nods and starts the engine, but neither of us says anything more on the matter of Finn and the rest of the drive is quiet.

I can’t shake the niggling feeling that even though Remington says nothing has changed, everything has changed.

Or it will when he finds out I’m not as strong or brave as he thinks.

The villa is buzzing with people when we walk in. I recognise two of Nadine’s bridesmaids and their husbands and kids, but I don’t know anyone else. Music is barely audible thanks to the raucous laughter and chatter of the bodies filling the patio and garden.

“Rem!” Nadine slurs as she walks across the decking, wobbling on her sky high heels. “You’ve made it.”

Remington wraps an arm around his sister’s waist, holding her up.

“What have I made it to?” He looks past Nadine to a group of girls splashing in the pool.

It’s still early in the evening, not even dark yet, but by the glossy look in Nadine’s eyes, it’s clear she’s been drinking for a few hours already.

“Some of my friends got here earlier than planned. We’re having a champagne lunch. Come say hi.”

“Sister dearest, you’re drunk,” Remington remarks, leading his sister to a chair and pushing her down. “Lunch time was over hours ago.”

Nadine scrunches up her nose. “Oh, shit. What’d we eat for lunch?”

Remington snorts a laugh. “I don’t know. I wasn’t here, remember?”

Making myself useful, I head into the kitchen, pour a glass of water and then carry it outside to Nadine. She takes it with a smile that looks so much like her brother’s.

“Your boyfriend is sexy,” she says loudly. Heat blasts up my cheeks, and I tip my chin to my chest, looking down at my feet.