Page 32 of Wildfire (Owl Creek #1)

This weekend was a blast. We did the radio spot and sold-out shows at our last two gigs, but I'm exhausted down to my bones. To top it all off, Jordy just found out his girlfriend is pregnant, so he won't stop talking about going home. I can't blame him, but it's making my homesickness worse.

Homesickness implies missing a place called home.

We have one more week of shows before returning to Owl Creek, and I can't wait.

I'd give my left boob to sit on the back patio with Cole, drinking whiskey and watching the dragonflies dance over the lake.

Even though I was only there for a few weeks, that place feels more like home than Downsville with my family ever did— at least since my mom died.

In my little bit of downtime, I've been learning to play my Mom's songs, and I've been writing my own, too. Seeing more of the world and experiencing my dream firsthand has given me some perspective and material to write about. I've aged since we started this tour. I feel like a different person.

Being on stage and performing is epic, but I've also dealt with gross behavior.

You learn a lot about people when they want something from you.

They put on an act to try to get you to feel a certain way about them, and when they don't get their way, they show you who they really are, and it's… shitty. People can be shitty.

But people can be kind, too, and that's what I'm holding onto.

Like the trucker who pulled over to help us with the flat tire.

Or the bar manager who offered to give us the spare room at his house so we could skip the motel that night.

Or the women who come up to me after the show and tell me that I'm inspiring them to live their dreams.

It's all showing up in the music I'm writing—the ugly, the sad, the inspiring. No matter what happens when we return to Owl Creek and the band goes into the studio to record, I'll take my experiences with me forever.

After taking a phone call outside, Trevor comes into the motel room and says he wants to have a band meeting.

I get him to agree to do it over coffee because I just woke up and can't deal with whatever he wants to talk about before I'm caffeinated.

That's the other thing. I've become a coffee drinker since the tour started.

I need high-octane stuff to deal with this schedule.

I wonder how the big-name stars deal with the road?

We trudge to a diner with bottomless coffee. I order that and a full stack of pancakes. As soon as the coffee is poured, Trevor starts in.

"I have some bad news that I need to share because it impacts all of us. I wish I could wait until we were back in Owl Creek, but I think it's important because we need to make some decisions."

My heart is in my throat, and the coffee isn't helping push it back down.

I look at Trevor, waiting for him to say something else.

"What is it?"

"It's about Georgia."

Tears start to form in my eyes. "Oh my god, did she die?"

He's ripping a napkin to shreds. "Nope. She was put under arrest last night."

Jordy and I look at each other and back at Trevor.

"What for?"

"She's the one who's been starting the fires. The Sheriff confronted her with some evidence, and apparently, she broke down and admitted to the whole thing. I guess it started after Jensen got engaged."

"What are we going to do about the new album?"

"Really, Jordy? That's your next question?"

"Well, it's just that you said this would impact us all."

"It does. And we do have to think about the new album. But I would have thought you would have asked something about her and how she's doing."

Jordy looked down at his mug. "Sorry, you're right. I'm just on edge because my girlfriend—"

"Is pregnant. We know."

"I guess this is as good a time as any to say it then."

I turn in my seat and stare at him. "Say what?"

"I don't want to tour anymore. Not when I have a kid on the way. My dad was a shit dad, and I don't want that for my kid. So when we finish this tour… I'm done. I…You need a new drummer."

I slump in my seat and lean my head back.

"Wow. First, Jensen leaves, and now you. That’s two drummers lost in one year."

"Sorry, man."

"I get it. The road is hard. What about you, Renée?"

"What about me?"

"Are you out too?"

"I didn't think I was in . I was just a temporary replacement."

"Given the circumstances, I don't think Georgia will play any music for a while. So, you in?"

My mind starts spinning. Again, Georgia's loss is my gain, and it feels awful. I'm also not sure anymore that this is what I want. Is this what my life will always be like? I love the highs of being a musician, but I need a way to cope with the lows.

"Can I…I need to think about it. Let's finish this tour first. Okay?"

"That's fair. I'm ready to keep going if you are. You're a solid player and a great frontwoman."

"Thanks."

Right then, my food comes, and I tuck into it like I haven't eaten in a week. While I hoover it into my mouth, I mull over what happened.

I could front my own band. This tour gained us a lot of fans, and I got to play some of my music in almost every show. I love performing.

I also miss sleeping in a comfortable bed with sheets I know have been washed recently. I miss home-cooked meals, swimming in the lake, and waking up next to a man I love.

I miss Cole. I miss his soft kisses when I wake up in the morning. I miss washing dishes while he dries them. I miss how he always knows what I need before I do, and he takes care of it. He takes care of me.

"Listen, Renée." Trevor breaks me out of my reverie. "You can be a touring musician and still maintain a solid relationship. It doesn't mean you and the Chief won't work out."

"How did you—"

"I can tell by the look on your face."

"My mom was a musician. She gave it up when she married my dad and had us kids."

He thrums his fingers on the table. "You don't have to follow in her footsteps.

It's hard. I'm not going to lie. But it can be done.

This is my sixth tour as a musician, and my relationship has lasted through all six.

If you want to meet my wife to get her perspective, I'm sure she'd be happy to talk to you. "

"Thanks. I just might take you up on that offer."

"If it's your deciding factor, I hope you do."

We finish our food and go back to the motel to start the long drive to the next gig.

Seven more nights until I'm back in Owl Creek.