Page 23 of Wild Card

“Oh, so we’re still pretending that didn’t happen?”

My molars clamp down on each other. “I’m not pretending shit, Clyde. I’m just internally berating myself for even telling you about it.”

Of course, the loud noise and the hole in the wall hadn’t gone unnoticed. People came running—Cecilia included. So, of course, Tripp found out too.

Obviously, I couldn’t admit why I’d had a completely out-of-character outburst.

Sorry, I’ve been obsessing over your girlfriend for months, blew my shot because, in the fog of pulling an all-nighter, I missed one fucking number, and now I’ll never have her.

I had to cover and said my frustration over all the years I missed got the best of me. It wasn’t a total lie. It was a frustrating position to be in… but it wasn’t why I lost it and punched a wall.

Tripp looked shocked. His mom turned and walked away—which was just so fucking fitting. And Eddie tried to placate me.

I gave Tripp his gift and saw myself out with my tail between my legs and my dignity left in the powder room.

I headed straight to the airport to come home, thinking my luck couldn’t get any worse. But I’d been wrong. Because there in the terminal, I ran into my ex-wife for the first time in three years.

She looked happy, healthy, remarried, andverypregnant.

Pregnant. Something she told me she never wanted to be. Something she clearly just didn’t want to bewith me.

Our greeting was brief and awkward, and once the shock of it passed, the run-in only pushed me deeper into the hole of despair that I’d already been calling home. Since then, I’ve done my best not to analyze how I feel about it. And I certainly haven’t told anyone about it. Not even Clyde got that piece of information.

Instead, I may have fallen back on venting to Clyde about other things. About Tripp and Cecilia and the mess that comes with this whole new chapter in my life. And in my most distraught moment, I may have even divulged my misery over the Gwen bombshell.

Things may have been tenuous between Tripp and me after I put a hole in his mom’s wall, but with persistence, we’vemanaged to forge something of a connection. Even if we only talk about work.

Work is safe. Personal lives are dicey. Gwen is personal. And I sure as shit don’t want to talk to him about her. I don’t even want to think about her.

With him.

Clyde’s raspy voice interrupts my spiral. “You should call her.”

Her.

I don’t even need to ask who he’s talking about. I scoff and roll my eyes as I pull the truck around to head down the back road.

Of course, Clyde has to live way the hell and gone—up the back side of the mountain. Something about fewer cameras tracking him. As if anyone wants to track Clyde and his daily puttering around his land.

“Absolutely not. That would be beyond inappropriate.”

“According to who?”

“Everyone, Clyde. Everyone. Especially my son—herboyfriend—who I’m trying to be friendly with. I’m trying not to totally fuck everything up with him, so it might be best to steer clear of that ticking time bomb.”

He sniffles, wiggling back against his seat. “Seems to me that little prick could use some fucking with.”

I let out a heavy sigh, but I don’t respond. The worst part is, I agree. Although I barely know Tripp, it’s clear he has his mother’s family’s fingerprints all over him. He’s not all bad, but the silver-spoon, image-obsessed genes are there. I could tell by the way he introduced me to people and the way they patted him on the back with that knowing look in their eyes.

Like he was downright heroic for welcoming me back into his life.

Truthfully, I didn’t care. They can all say what they want about me. But teasing Gwen about her eating habits felt like a backhanded way of criticizing her body.

Andthat set me off.

Because her fuckingbody. I’ve dreamed of it. Of her. I know I shouldn’t—especially now—but my subconscious is having a grand old time torturing me over what could have been. What I could have had.

Clyde yammers on about the jet trails in the air, spraying the mountain with chemicals, poisoning the water and the animals. He suspects this is the reason his kidneys are in such rough shape.Chem trails.