Page 67 of Wicked Tides #1

Dahlia

We are both whole and broken

When we find we love something we cannot have

~ Rich are the Broken

Morning was teasing the horizon when Vidar and I trekked back to the spring.

Grazing on the plant life around the pool was the giant beast he rode in on.

The horse. The animal was large with hooves that could crush a skull, but it was beautiful with a soft, gray coat that matched the season of storms. I paused as we approached, staring at it as Vidar grabbed the ropes that were draped over its thick neck.

“Come,” he urged, holding out his hand to me.

I cautiously approached, my heart beginning to race when the animal lifted its large head. It snorted, shaking out the coarse hair that grew down the ridge of its neck and I tensed.

“Have you never seen a horse before?” Vidar asked.

“From afar,” I said, watching the horse’s black eyes take me in.

He beckoned me forward again and hesitantly, I stepped toward the creature. Vidar reached out and took my hand, pulling me even closer. The horse bobbed its head again with another snort, stomping one of its solid feet into the ground.

“Shh, girl,” Vidar hushed, his voice calm and soothing.

I pulled my hand from him, nervous. It wasn’t often that I shied from anything that could kill me, but I’d always wanted to see a horse up close. Ever since I was young. Watching my presence spook her made me wonder what she saw in me. A predator? A fiend?

Vidar stroked the horse’s long muzzle a few times, steadying its nervous movements until it stilled again. And then he looked at me, gesturing for me to approach.

“She’s afraid of me,” I muttered.

“Show her she doesn’t have to be,” he said, once more holding out his hand to me.

I inched forward and slowly, Vidar raised my hand toward the animal and pressed it flat against her muscular neck. I felt her skin twitch beneath my fingers. Felt the fiery heat of her body. Her strong pulse soared under my touch, powerful and alert.

“I never imagined I would touch one,” I admitted. “I’ve seen wild ones on the islands. I used to watch them run when I was young. It amazed me that they could move so fast.”

I could see Vidar staring at me in my peripheral and slowly panned my gaze toward his. Something was on his mind, but I couldn’t tell what it was. His hand remained pressed over the top of mine, his thumb stroking my knuckles.

“They used to be my favorite as a boy,” he said, releasing me. “So? Are you ready to ride her?”

My eyes widened at the prospect. I knew men rode the giant animals, but it amazed me that he even offered.

Smirking, Vidar grabbed a thick tuft of the mare’s mane and leapt up onto her back with very little effort.

He situated himself astride her, adjusting the thin ropes in his hand that wrapped around her long muzzle.

“I learned to ride on the fiercest of them,” he continued, offering me his hand .

My heart was doing somersaults when I gripped him and he hoisted me up onto the horse behind him.

It was far off the ground and as she sidestepped, I could feel every muscle move beneath me.

Every breath coursing through her giant lungs vibrated across her body.

I wrapped my arms around Vidar’s waist and held onto him, certain the animal would throw us off of her, but she didn’t.

Vidar clicked his tongue, tapping her ribs with his heels, and she trudged forward.

“His name was Dawn,” he continued. “He hated saddles, so I often rode without.”

“That such a strong creature lets men ride it is fascinating.”

“They don’t all let men ride them. And I regret that defiance is often met with cruelty.”

“As it is with all things,” I said with regret. “Sometimes giving up is worse than the punishment, though.”

I nuzzled against his back and the warmth he provided as we rode back toward the village. My limbs were frozen and my body ached, but none of it mattered. My nerves savored the echoes of how Vidar felt inside me. The way he claimed me and commanded me and pushed away the darkness.

Nothing had ever been able to do that. Not even for fleeting moments.

I rested my cheek against his shoulder and closed my eyes, finding that I didn’t want to be without the bastard.

Some pathetic, sad, weak part of me wanted him.

Needed him. I locked my fingers together against his stomach, listening to the gentle thrum of his heartbeat and the rhythm of the horse’s gait like they were a lullaby.

“We are so different, Vidar,” I muttered. “How is it that I have waited more than half my life to kill you and now…” I trailed off, turning my lips into his shoulder. “I almost died trying to save you.”

I felt his hand slide across my forearm to cup mine. It was affectionate and affection was something I didn’t know how to digest. No one but my sisters had ever offered it in any form.

Not even my mother .

“You may yet be a monster succeeding in tearing me apart from the inside, Dahlia,” Vidar said. “But the fool in me refuses to end you. So, I suppose we do have something else in common. Neither of us seems capable of destroying the other.”

“I don’t believe that. I believe you’ve destroyed me, Vidar Woelfson. Just not the way you intended.”

When we returned to the village, the horse was left at the round pen, and Vidar and I continued inward.

I was eager to put on a coat and some shoes.

Or at least get somewhere to rest my aching feet.

When we came to the longhouse, I saw Meridan sitting outside with Taupek and Mullins.

She stood as soon as she spotted us, her lips parted with concern when she saw my stained and torn dress.

I strode toward her, despite the stabbing pain in my soles from running across frozen branches and rocks, and cupped her face in my hands.

“Are you alright?” she whispered. “I’m sorry. It was stupid of me to tell him—”

“I’m alright,” I answered softly, kissing her on the forehead. “I’m going to rest.”

“With him?”

I nodded. “You must trust me. Please.”

She bit the inside of her lip and then finally inclined her head. Sighing, I turned back around to see Vidar waiting for me on the path.

“Cap’n?” Mullins asked, pointing at the blood that stained his shirt over his shoulder and down the front.

We were both aware what it looked like. It looked like we had just tried to kill each other.

It wasn’t too far off from what actually happened…

Vidar shrugged, grinning. “Do I look bothered, Mullins?”

I ambled toward him and his eyes flicked to my feet and the way I was trying not to seem uncomfortable. In two strides, he was next to me, lifting me into his arms so I would not have to walk anymore. I saw his jaw tighten at the pain in his shoulder, but he completely dismissed it.

“You don’t have to,” I said .

“Aye. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”

. . .

One more lick of Vidar’s expert tongue over my clit and I was stifling a cry behind my hand and squirming against his mouth.

He continued to torment me with his lips until I was finally spent and shaking.

Emerging from between my legs, he surged over me, bracing his hands on either side of me so he could claim my mouth in a kiss.

For two days, we shared his hut, though it prevented us from ever getting a good night’s sleep. We were addicted to what happened in the woods and spent hours every night finding new ways to experience it again and again.

Vidar fell to his back atop his furs and blankets, joining me in staring up at the ceiling to catch our breath.

During those two days, something swelled in my chest that had not been there before.

It was heavy and almost painful, filling a hollow space that had been there my whole life.

A space I thought was meant to be there, vacant.

“Will you ever let my mouth do the same for you?” I asked, distracting myself from the deeper feelings.

Vidar chuckled. It was a sound I had come to enjoy.

“With your affinity for biting off limbs? No.”

I bit my lip to keep from smiling when Vidar rolled over, propping himself on an elbow over me.

“Do that again,” he said.

“What?”

“Smile.”

I pressed my lips together, unsure how I was supposed to just smile.

I could fake it. I was good at that. But I didn’t want to fake it anymore.

When he lifted his hand and let his fingers whisper over my lips, it was like he was doing it for me.

I felt my face warming under his touch and it spread across my mouth into a soft, subtle grin.

Vidar mirrored it, his eyes roaming my face like he was seeing it for the first time.

That heavy feeling in my chest grew, making my heart skip. I stilled as Vidar’s fingers continued from the corner of my mouth along the scar that stretched across my cheek. He didn’t say anything, but I could practically hear his thoughts rattling inside his skull.

Slowly, I sat up beside him, a large fur tucked around me, and reached for his right hand.

He hadn’t taken off his leather bracer in ages.

Not in front of me, at least. Gently, I pulled his hand into my lap and started to loosen the leather strings keeping it tight to his forearm.

A strap buckled around his elbow and I pulled that free as well until it was loose enough to slide free.

Slowly, I pulled it from his arm and the two false, leather-bound fingers with it.

I set the bracer aside and let my fingertips trail lightly down the top of his hand. Turning it over, I did the same to his palm, studying his imperfections.

That horrendous day was imprinted in my mind like a brand. His screams and mine mingled in my ears and I blinked the images away, lifting my eyes to his.

The word was there, right behind my lips, begging to be set free. One word. One, simple word.

“Sorry,” I whispered, my voice quivering.

Vidar stared for a moment, processing what he’d just heard.