Page 36 of Wicked Salvation

No, this is drowning.

My heart stumbles in my chest.

My ribs rattle like a locked door somebody’s trying to break down.

I try to take a deep breath.

I can’t.

My throat clamps shut. I stagger backward, hitting the walls, my palms slick with sweat. Somewhere along the line I lost my joint—not that there was much left of it anyway. I can’t breathe.

I feel ridiculous.

I’m Lucian Augustine-Beaumont, the most powerful man at this school. I shouldn’t everpanic, but my vision blurs at the edges anyway. My fingers twitch.

Breathe.

Just breathe.

In.

Out.

Focus on what’s real, Lucian.

And as the thought floats through my mind, I’m reminded of the reason I’m having a panic attack. Because the voice sounds like Eden’s. Should I have been that harsh with her? Could I have gotten her to call off her engagement if I had tried instead of chasing her away into his arms? We could have kept our relationship a secret.

I feel the ghost of her lips on mine.

My hands curl into fists.

I slam them against the wall until I can’t feel them anymore. They’re bloody, but that hardly matters. I have to get my mind together and focus on the facts.

Eden betrayed me.

She’s engaged to Silas.

Some part of her still believes in this religion.

And the monolith of this religion? This fucking school.

As for Silas, she needs him to keep her parents happy.

I’m not sure how happy they’ll be when they find out he’s broke.

Eventually the burn fades.

And for a moment, I’m raw—and hopelessly in love with a girl who is set to marry someone else. No, I can’t think about that. It’ll only distract me.

I need to get back to my mission.

I may not have been able to control the start of Eden and Silas’ fucked up relationship of convenience, but I will certainly control the ending.

IX

SILAS

Ihad planned for this drive into town to bring us closer together.