Page 22 of Wicked Riddles & Bitter Heartbeats (Till Death Do Us Part #1)

Chapter Nineteen

Atticus

I’ve never felt anything like that before.

Watching Lilah talk to my brother for me, trying to get information out of him for me.

She went over there, put herself in an uncomfortable position, and she did it all for me.

It may not seem like much, but to me it’s everything.

People don’t do things for me unless they’re paid for it.

That’s how it’s been my entire life. I never thought I cared, but apparently I do.

Because her doing that drove me absolutely wild.

I almost bent her over the dining table and fucked her in front of the entire restaurant.

Thankfully, I had enough wherewithal not to do that.

The drive back to our hotel is full of tension, my dick still achingly hard even after already coming.

I’ve had sex before, enough times to know what it’s like.

Yet it was different just now, with Lilah.

It’s never felt so good. Not just the orgasm or the sex, but something deeper.

Like an actual connection. I knew there was something about Lilah the moment I saw her, and the more I let her in, the more I realized how right I was because my attachment to her is only growing with each day that passes.

She hurries ahead of me to the elevator, and I spot dried cum on her dress and on the back of her thigh.

I’m not sure if she knows it’s there, but even if she did, I doubt she’d care.

She’s unapologetically herself; just like me.

I’m tempted to shove her against the wall in the elevator and fuck her again, but there are cameras in here, so it’s a bad idea.

“Get that dress off, and get on the bed,” I say before our room door slams closed.

I undress myself as I follow her to the bed.

She’s naked in seconds and spreads out on the mattress like some sort of twisted dark angel.

When my clothes are off, I climb over her, shoving myself inside her just like I did earlier.

I can’t wait. There is no patience when it comes to this woman, to my kitten.

How I’ve waited so long is beyond me, because now I’m not sure I can stop.

Her head cranes back as she pushes her hips into me, needing me deeper. I grab her hip hard enough it’ll leave a bruise and grind myself against her, going in as far as I can.

“Fuck, Atty,” she groans. “You feel so good.”

I suck her nipple into my mouth, nibbling on the tight bud until she’s hissing. I move to the other side to do the same, and then I lick my way upwards to find her neck, latching on and sucking hard.

“I’m going to mark you everywhere I can,” I whisper as I pull out and slam in. She moans loudly, nails raking up my sides. “Every inch of this beautiful skin.”

I move down her chest, biting and sucking. I go across her tits, sinking my teeth in. She moans and writhes, begs for me, tells me to stop even though when I do, she pleads for me to keep going.

“Harder! Go harder! I need you deeper, Atty.”

When her front is covered in my marks, I turn her over, spank her ass until it’s raw, then sink my teeth into her shoulder as I drill into her harder than I’ve ever fucked before.

“Atty, I’m going to come,” she cries out.

I tangle my hand in her hair, yanking her back to kiss her while I fuck her from behind.

Sweat drips down my temples, the salty taste landing on my lips.

Lilah’s whimpers are muffled against the bed as her pussy flutters around my dick, sending me over the edge.

A deep groan tears from my throat as I pump my cum into her.

“Oh my god,” she breathes out as she drops to the bed. “I can’t believe… you made me wait for… this.”

I chuckle, falling beside her and pulling her against me. Her eyes are closed, face toward the ceiling, my legs tangled through hers.

“Was that too much?” I ask, brushing her hair out of her face. I lost control, and though it seemed okay, I need to make sure it wasn’t too much.

“No,” she says sleepily.

“You’d tell me if it was?” I ask.

“Of course.”

“If I do something you don’t like, you have to tell me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

There’s a short pause before she turns in my arms, putting her hand on my cheek.

“Don’t get soft on me now, psychopath.”

She smiles before pressing her lips to mine. I can’t pull my eyes from her as she settles against her pillow and pulls the blankets higher.

Moments later, she’s sleeping, but I’m not tired. When she’s snoring softly, I get her settled under the blankets and go to the window to stare out at the city.

My parents brought me all over the world.

To museums and restaurants and theaters.

I was spoiled and had everything anyone could ever need.

I saw things people only dream of seeing.

I’ve seen more things over a summer than most see in a lifetime.

I’m grateful for the experiences, but I can’t help but feel like someone else out there would have appreciated it more.

It was never enough. Not the vacations, the clothes, the toys, and dinners.

Something was always missing. As I got older, that hole deep in my chest got bigger until I felt like it was constantly swallowing me whole, and I was fighting against it to survive.

I always knew I wasn’t like everyone else, and assumed that’s what the hole was, but…

I’m starting to think it’s something else.

I turn from the window and look at Lilah. The moon shines through the large glass windows, casting faint light over her face. She’s bundled up in the blankets, wrapped up like a caterpillar preparing to change to a beautiful butterfly.

Maybe I’m not as different as I thought I was. Maybe this hole in my chest isn’t the darkness eating me from the inside out, like I thought. Maybe it got bigger as I got older to make space for Lilah. Maybe, just maybe , it’s been something else this entire time.

It’s not that I’ve felt the need to fit in with others, but it does make things easier when you don’t have to try so hard.

I don’t have to try when I’m with Lilah.

I don’t have to put on a face and force smiles and remember what emotions fit with what facial expressions.

I know her. I know her reactions and mannerisms and tones.

And she knows me, too. She accepts me as is.

She’d once asked if I believed in twin flames, and my response was to tell her I didn’t have a soul.

I think that’s because she’s had it this whole time.

Holding on to it, keeping it safe and warm.

Because when I’m with her, I feel normal.

I feel alive. I feel better than I ever have in my entire life.

Better than I thought possible for someone like me.

None of that makes up for what happened to me. If anything, it only makes the situation worse. I can be normal, if only given the opportunity. Yet I was given up while James got to stay. If I had been the one to stay, would I even be who I am today?

I need to come up with a new plan. One that is going to get his attention. One that will show him that I am worthy, that I’m better than he is. That I didn’t deserve to be thrown away or pushed aside the way everyone has always done to me.

James Erickson is going to regret being the twin who got to stay, because I am about to ruin his goddamn life.