Page 35

DIESEL

M errick and I get turned loose from jail Wednesday afternoon with a hefty fine. But we’re warned that if we come back to the premises, they might arrest us again.

The fix is in.

We drive back to our houses in silence. We are good and fucked. They’ll use this as an excuse to deny our permits.

The Leaky Skull will be shut down in a matter of weeks.

I kill the engine in my driveway. I need a shower, food, and about twenty-five beers.

Merrick sits with his head tilted up, resting on the back of the seat. “What the fuck now?” he asks.

“Hell if I know.”

“You won’t let Sherman bail us out?” His voice has an edge to it.

“Fuck no.”

“What about the bar staff?”

“Hell if I know.”

Merrick sits up. “I’ll message Jose. Tell them to keep it going cash-only until someone shows up to shut it down. Sell out of everything. Then they can all split the money. It’ll be a nice severance till they can find something else.”

“Sounds fine to me.”

“We selling these?” He gestures to the two houses.

“Maybe.”

We sit there for a while, sweating in our dirty suits.

“There’s always what got us out of trouble before.” He grins, then punches my arm.

“Maybe. You got another tour in you?”

“Why not?”

I sniff. “Some beach time first?”

“Hell yeah. Fuck all this shit. Let’s get plastered on the beach, sober up, and then get our asses back in the Army. Start over somewhere else.”

I peer out at the houses. “We’ll have that guy sell these. We can do one tour, save up, and add this to it.”

“Maybe Mexico this time,” Merrick says. “Make it real hard for anyone to find us.”

I nod. “Meet you back out here around six?” That gives us a few hours to shuck these monkey suits and throw some things in a bag.

“You know it.” He glances behind him through the rear window. “Bikes are already in the back. We’ve got everything we need.”

“We sure as hell do.”

We get out, slamming our doors simultaneously.

I’m about to unlock my house when Merrick calls out, “What are you going to do about Symphony?”

Fuck. “Hell if I know.”

He nods. “All right.” Then he takes off across the half-dead yard.

I cram a sandwich and head to the shower, determined not to think of Symphony.

My phone is completely dead, and I didn’t bother to charge it. Maybe I won’t. Cut and run. Easier that way.

But in the dark space, warm water running down my body, thoughts of her rise up. I want her with me, her blonde hair going dark as it gets wet. Kneeling, my cock in her mouth. I picture suds rolling down her breasts, getting caught on her pink nipples.

Fuck. I fist my cock, working it, letting my mind go wild.

Only when I’ve sprayed the floor of the shower and the evidence has washed down the drain, do I remember my sketchbook is at the office.

I want it.

And I don’t want anyone else to get it, especially those fuckwads at the permit office, who are bound to show up with notices and bolt cutters the moment ours expire.

And I can’t skip the goodbye. It wouldn’t be right. She deserves better.

I shut off the water and towel off. My phone is still in my suit pocket. I drag it out and stick it on the charger. It takes a minute to come back to life, buzzing nonstop as it downloads messages.

I scan them.

Vicki. Handled.

Jake. Merrick handled him.

And Symphony.

I can’t let her words sink in. I scan it for anything I need to know, but mostly, it’s her worry coming through.

It’s fucking impossible to type what I have to say, but I do it.

Me: Got tossed in the slammer. Nothing important.

Me: But the county will shut down the bar. Decided fuck it. Let it go.

Me: Merrick and I re-enlisting. Taking an R&R, then we’ll ship out.

I hesitate, waiting to see if she’ll jump on. Maybe it’s better if she doesn’t. I don’t want my mind changed.

When nothings happens, I say one last thing.

Me: You were a fucking goddess to me. I’ll miss everything.

Fuck. That’s about as schmaltzy as I’m going to get. I yank the cord out of the phone, and for good measure, I smash it against the corner of the table.

I don’t need it. After the R&R, we’ll be back in training. I’ll have Merrick, and he’s the only person I want to talk to now, anyway.

Everybody else is what I have to leave behind.