Page 35

I don’t answer right away. First, I sink down onto the edge of my bed and pull my soft white fleece jacket tighter around me, and then twist my trembling fingers together until I find my voice. “He gave me a choice. The same choice as always, but this time, there was only one option.”

There’s a pause, and no one speaks.

“Either I agreed to go with him, and you all would be set free from your cells, or…” my voice catches.

“Or what?” Benji pushes.

I take a shuddering breath and dig my fingernails into my palms. “They dangled Damon over the edge of the roof, with dozens of rotters waiting below. If I rejected Eugene again, then I would have to watch you all…”

“Watch us all what? Fuck, you’re shaking. Come over here.”

I do as he says, and walk over to him on steady feet. Benji’s arms appear around the bars and wrap around me, pulling me close. I wish I could fully lean into him without these damn bars in the way, but this is better than nothing.

“Watch as they threw all three of you over that edge, one by one,” I finish.

Cole’s voice comes out rough. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Done what? Saved your lives? You weren’t there. There wasn’t any other way.”

“Damon’s strong. He would have figured it out. Now you’ve damned yourself,” Cole says.

“There wasn’t another way.” My voice rises with disbelief. “You weren’t there. You didn’t see…I couldn’t lose you. Any of you.”

His breath is warm against my ear, but his voice is tight with rage. “It’s all a game to him. Eugene doesn’t have an honest bone in his body. Whatever he promised you, there’s a catch. There’s always a catch.”

“I had to do something. I had to try. You don’t belong here. None of you do.”

There’s a heavy pause, then Benji’s voice drops to something softer, heavier, more morose. “I do.”

I pull back enough to stare into the shadows and make out the faint outline of his body. “What?”

He lifts his head, and even though I can’t see his expression, I can feel his gaze on me. “You shouldn’t risk yourself for me, Zoey.” His thumb brushes along the bare skin of my shoulder where my jacket has fallen. “You shouldn’t even be here. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be.”

“What are you talking about?”

His thumb moves in slow circles against my shoulder, soothing yet torturous, because I’m terrified of what he might say next. Then his words gut me. “I’m the reason you were captured.”

“What are you talking about?”

No. No, that’s not possible. He’s been locked up here for too long. I never met him before I was tossed into this hellhole. He has nothing to do with Eugene’s obsession with me. Right?

His hand stills, and when he speaks again, his tone is raw, heavy, and full of regret. “I could have stopped Nathan. Hell, I tried to, but I didn’t. Damon blames himself, but it was me who got us here.”

Nathan.

My breath catches in my throat, and I shift to face Benji fully. My hand slides off his arm while I process what he said. “Nathan?” I choke out the name. “You knew him?”

His nod is almost imperceptible, but it’s there. “We didn’t know what he was when we got here. Damon, Cole, and I, we were passing through is all. New to the area, low on supplies, trying to stay out of trouble. We were exhausted. We thought maybe we’d found somewhere safe.”

So many questions fill my head, but I can’t speak.

Benji’s exhale is laced with something bitter, something broke. “We weren’t dregs, Zoey. Not like Nathan and his people. We thought we’d found a group willing to share resources, maybe even to survive together.” A pause. “We were wrong.”

He shifts and pulls me closer, like he knows I need the comfort but won’t ask for it. Not from him right now.

Still, I don’t speak, because what is there to say?

“We were there when a woman and some guys showed up looking for insulin.”

I freeze. My pulse pounds in my ears. “Emily,” I whisper.

Benji lets out a soft, bitter laugh. “Yeah. Her. She had the same voice as the one we heard shouting out your name a few days ago.”

I don’t realize I’m shaking until he squeezes my shoulder.

His tone turns guilty. “I’m the one who alerted Nathan.

He was the one who brought in the medical supplies, including the insulin, so I figured…

maybe he could help them out.” His voice dips with something haunted.

“By the time he got to them, though, they’d already taken more than they were supposed to.

Because, you see, this place had rules when helping outsiders.

At least, what this place was a few months ago was a place that helped those who needed it. ”

The pieces snap into place.

Emily. She and her guys, they were desperate. They took what they needed, more than they were told to. She brought my bag back, but she never told me the entire story.

And Nathan, being the psychotic bastard that he was, wasn’t about to let that slide. Not when it came to his own stolen products .

Benji continues. “When he came back in, he was furious. He weaved a story about how they’d gotten away with everything. He wanted everyone to go with him to ‘handle it.’ Wanted to teach them a lesson, he’d said.”

I swallow hard, but my throat is dry as sandpaper.

“He wanted them to pay.”

I stare into the darkness beyond the bars. “You didn’t…” I start, but my voice feels too small.

Benji shakes his head, or at least I think he does.

“We didn’t go. The three of us stayed back because we thought it was ridiculous.

They had plenty of supplies here. They could afford to spare a few things.

Especially for someone who really needed it.

” He lets out a sharp breath. “When Nathan refused to take our no for an answer, it was bad. He squared me up. Told me to fight. Told me to prove my loyalty.”

It becomes hard to breathe, but I still hang onto every word. “And?”

“Well, I told him it wasn’t worth my time. So he challenged Cole, but then Damon stepped up and said we’re not going. Damon told him we were leaving.”

“Bet he didn’t like that.”

Benji’s laugh is low and painful. “No, he didn’t. He turned a dagger on me, which is how I wound up with this little scar on the back of my hand. He thought I wanted to fight, but I told him I didn’t care what he did to other people. All I wanted was to stay out of it.”

There’s another pause while I process that.

“He had us locked up. Told Eugene to keep us here until he gets back. We’ve been here ever since.”

“Well, then he was never going to let you out otherwise, because Nathan is dead. He’s not coming back.”

I still say nothing.

He reaches through the bars and tilts my chin so I’m facing him. “What is it? What’s that look in your eye? ”

“Did you know all along?”

He hesitates. “I did, ever since you told me about what Nathan did to you and how you got that scar.”

My hand ghosts over the scar on my side, hidden beneath my clothing. The scar I got because he flat out told Nathan he didn’t care what he did to us. I back away from the bars. “When were you going to tell me?”

“That’s the thing. I couldn’t decide whether or not to tell you.”

My heart breaks at the feeling of betrayal. The guy I gave up my freedom so he could live couldn’t be bothered to tell me the most important detail that links us together.

I collapse onto my bed and stare up at the cracked ceiling around the skylight.