Page 28

COLE

W hite-hot pain blooms on my side, twisting like a knife all over again.

My first instinct is to clench my teeth and stay still. I don’t want to face whatever fresh hell this new day brings. It’s always the same. Wake up. Rot in a cage. Until she arrived in a flurry of nail scratching and curse words that brought life to my long, slow death.

My eyes snap open.

The first thing I register is the faint hum of fluorescent lights. Their sterile glow buzzes like flies against my skull. The air is thick with the chemical stench of disinfectant that burns my nose. It’s too clean for this place. Too clinical for a prison meant to break people.

I try to sit up, but pain lances through my ribs, sharp and unforgiving. A fresh wave of exhaustion washes over me. The bandages on my side are so tight that every breath pulls at the knife wound, but I force myself to focus.

The room is small and cluttered with mismatched furniture and a single rusted cabinet in the corner. It’s cleaner than a cell, but it still feels like a cage. A place meant to keep someone trapped .

Then my gaze lands on Zoey, and suddenly I can breathe easy again.

She’s awake, sitting cross-legged on a bed against the far wall. Her white tank top and blue shorts stand out against the stark gray walls. They’re too bright and too soft in a place like this.

Her golden hair lands right below her shoulders, but it’s the soft flush of color in her cheeks that’s a relief.

A welcome contrast to the pale, lifeless pallor I last saw.

She’s not out of danger, but she’s alive, and right now that’s enough.

The insulin bought her some time. That alone makes every bruise, every broken rib, every gaping knife wound in my side worth it.

Her eyes flick to mine, sharp blue meeting green, and the reaction on her face cuts through the haze of pain.

A faint smile touches her lips, but only for a second before her brows knife together and her focus narrows on me. “Cole,” she breathes. Her voice is softer than I’ve ever heard it. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah,” I rasp, my throat as rough as sandpaper. It almost sounds like I swallowed gravel.

I push up onto my elbow, but agony spears through my ribs, and I freeze when my muscles lock. Zoey swings her legs over the edge of the bed. Her footsteps are light. Her bare feet don’t make a sound against the floor.

She’s at my side in seconds, even though the rope around her wrist pulls taut as she moves. I follow the length of it with my eyes until I see it knotted around a metal loop embedded in the cinderblock wall. She’s still a prisoner, even here outside the cell block.

“Are you okay?” Her voice pulls my gaze, and I see her electric blue eyes fill with concern.

“Fine.” The lie is automatic, and I can tell from the way her eyes narrow that we both know it .

“You don’t sound fine.” She crosses her arms over her chest.

I sigh, then flinch when the motion pulls at the stitches in my side. “I’m fine,” I repeat, sharper this time. “And I’d do it all over again, so stop feeling guilty.”

Her expression hardens. She doesn’t like that answer. Good. She shouldn’t. Maybe she’ll dislike it enough to stay away. All I can offer her is pain. Yet, she doesn’t take her eyes off of me.

She moves closer. Her feet pad softly across the floor until she’s standing only a breath away from my cot, that I’m also tied to. Her voice drops. It’s quieter now. “You shouldn’t have to.”

The words sting more than I expect them to. I don’t answer. I don’t know how to answer.

“Well, I’m glad I finally get to see your face, even though we both almost died.” She changes the subject. “You’re even more handsome than I imagined.”

The words hit me like a punch. Me? Handsome? She’s kind, but she has to be joking.

A bitter chuckle rumbles at the back of my throat. “You don’t see it?”

“See what?”

“The monster everyone else sees.”

Zoey kneels down. Her non-roped hand grips the back of the chair beside my cot and she leans forward. “No,” he says without a moment of hesitation. “I don’t. Not even a little.”

The sincerity in her conviction shakes something loose inside me. Something I’ve tried to bury for years. I was already obsessed with her when I knew I could never have her, but if she keeps looking at me like this, then we’re going to have a situation.

Caring too much, giving too much, it always backfires. Every time.

“I’ve cared about people before,” I admit to my own surprise. “More than anyone has ever cared about me. It doesn’t end well, so you don’t need to be nice or pity me. I don’t expect anything from you.”

She tilts her head and watches me so closely that it unnerves me. The look in her eyes is unapologetic and bold, like there’s fire in her veins. “Well, you should.”

I scoff. “Why is that?”

“Because I care about you. Even before you saved my life.”

The words slam into me. Her unwavering conviction shifts the air, making it hard to breathe. This time, it’s not from the bruised rib. It’s from her, the woman sitting in front of me, defiant and unbroken despite the greatest attempts of the world around her that’s shrouded in chaos.

I open my mouth, close it, and then open it again. I can’t look away. “Do you mean that?”

“Every word.”

Hope flickers inside me so bright, hot, and dangerous that I fear it’ll burn me from the inside, but I force myself to hold her gaze.

I’ve been burned before. Left behind, abandoned, and betrayed.

I don’t know if I can survive it again. “Could you ever care for me like you seem to care for Benji and Damon? Can you look me in the eye and tell me I’m more than a mere way to pass the time?

Because you don’t have to. I know we’re all prisoners here, and you have a whole life outside these walls that we don’t have a right to be a part of.

All you have to do is say no, and we can continue along without expectations and nothing will change. ”

“But if I say yes?” she asks without missing a beat.

“If you say yes, then you better be ready to back it up because lying to me and leading me on will destroy me.”

Her lips curve into a genuine smile. “Yes.”

“Why?” I demand. My heart hammers against my ribs so hard that it hurts, but I can’t calm it down. Not when she looks at me like that. Like she actually wants me in her life for more than just company and protection.

Her gaze softens and her lips curve into a small, genuine smile.

The first one I’ve seen in days. “Because you make me feel safe. All three of you do, and I want to give you that same feeling in return. To guard your hearts like you’ve been guarding me.

Though I’ll still respect your wishes and keep my distance if you want me to, but you should know that I really don’t want to. ”

“Is it only safety you want? Because I can provide that without anything in return. I won’t just stand by and watch you die. Even if you walk away and shatter me.”

She shakes her head. “Few people choose to hold me up when I can’t stand after they witness my weaknesses.

You literally did that. All three of you have been doing that.

I don’t know if these feelings result from this crazy shared experience, but I’m willing to find out and give it a try.

Your simple touch electrified me when most others do nothing but numb me. ”

Her un-roped hand reaches out toward me, and her fingers tremble. “I so badly wish to close this distance, Cole,” she admits. “It hurts. Constantly being so close, yet still so far away. Now that I’ve seen you and touched you, I don’t want to stop.”

Her words pull something deep and raw inside me, twisting it until it feels like my chest might cave in. She has no idea how terrifying her request is. Closing the distance means opening a door I’ve kept locked for years. One that once led to nothing but pain, but is finally a suffocated paradise.

Yet, the way she looks at me with her vulnerability matched by her courage, it chips away at my fear.

I push myself up and lower my bare feet onto the floor, even though my body protests every inch.

Pain knifes through my ribs, but I ignore it.

Pain is irrelevant when I’m in front of her, and I need to close this distance between us.

I need to feel something other than the ache of survival.

Then I stop. There’s one thing I still need to know. “What about Avery?”

She frowns. “What about him?”

“You said he confuses you.” My hands curl into fists against the thin sheet I’m sitting on. “In what way?”

She hesitates, but she doesn’t look away. “He’s not like the other dregs.”

My stomach knots, but this is what I needed to hear. Even if it’s not the answer I wanted.

“There’s a weird sort of kindness in him. Something that makes me feel safe, too, but…” she shrugs. “I don’t know what it means yet, but I do know that after you, Benji, and Damon, he’s the next one here that I trust.”

“What about anyone else here?”

She shakes her head. “No. There are some who are worse than others, and some who are downright evil, but no one else confuses me or gives me butterflies or makes me physically ache from wanting to touch them.”

“What would happen if you had to choose? Between him and the three of us? Or even between all of us?”

Her wide eyes blink as if the question caught her off guard. Then she shrugs after a moment. “I honestly don’t know, Cole. I used to think I knew what life would look like. Live simple, survive day by day, sleep every once in a while. Then, since I’ve been here, I’ve realized I want so much more.”

“More?” I repeat.

She takes a deep breath. “I’ve seen how my friend Emily went through hell and back for the loves of her life.”

“Loves? Plural?” I ask, making sure I heard right.

She smiles at me. “Yeah, three of them. It’s a hell of a story.

Maybe I’ll tell you guys about it later when we need to pass some time.

” She shakes her head. “I can’t help but wonder if there’s someone out there for me like that, too?

Or maybe even someones.” Her lips twitch into a wry smile.

“I’m not saying I want to jump on every penis I come across.

Heck, I’ve even cut off one. What I mean is, caring about someone, and genuinely caring, is rare nowadays.

So when I find people I care about, I want to hold on as tight as I can and never let go.

You’re worth so much more than that, and I want to gouge out the eyes of every single person who ever made you feel like less. ”

Her words roll over me like a balm, soothing the cracks I never thought could heal.

“Before they captured me, my life was bleak. I watched in black and white while everyone else around me lived their lives. They laughed, they loved, and they exuded joy. Meanwhile, I spent my days watching from the outskirts with a veil over my eyes. I never imagined it would take getting thrown into a place where I couldn’t see anything, before I finally saw colors again. ”

A new crack forms inside of me, but this time it’s for her.

That veil is one I know all too well. “I’ve been in the dark for so long that I never thought I would see the light again.

Then you showed up with your stubborn determination, always shoving knives in your bras without cutting off your tits. ”

She laughs. It’s light and airy. A sound I want to hear again.

Then she meets my gaze. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see potential with Avery, too, but this whole situation is so fucked up.

I don’t know much at all. What I do know, though, is that you are absolutely not a means to an end or a way to pass the time.

You have the kind of heart that I want to protect above all else, and I’d never callously break something as pure as yours. ”

A storm brews inside me. A good one, I think. One that doesn’t want to destroy, but the opposite. I need to touch her. We’ve already wasted too much time being apart .

My legs wobble when I stand. My mind screams that this is a mistake, but my heart doesn’t care. I take a shaky step toward her, despite the rope grating against my wrist.

Then the door swings open before I can reach her. “Oh, good.” Avery steps inside with a grin that’s all teeth and sharp edges. “You’re both awake.”