Page 99 of Whiskey and Regret

When I knew Frankie was in bed with the lights out, I sent Xari a text to meet me in my bedroom. About seven minutes later, she was knocking softly on the door before pushing it open and walking in. The way she swayed her slender hips and shapely legs over to the bed, forced my eyes to focus on her.

I might have been the writer but Xari was the words. She was the whisper in my ear that told me being a published author was a real possibility. My heart thumped harder in her magnetic presence.

“You’re not writing in the den tonight?” She asked, climbing on the bed to sit beside me. I shut my laptop because when she was in the room, all my concentration honed in on her anyway.

“Nah, I felt like writing in my room tonight. Plus, I wanted to talk to you.” My hand slid over to her thigh. It was warm and firm beneath my touch. I wanted to spread her legs and speak my feelings directly into her pussy.

That would have been easier than admitting I wanted something deeper with her. It would have been easier than admitting what I knew was happening in my heart and head. It was the first time they both agreed on the same thing.

“You wanted to talk to me or fuck me?” She grinned.

“You and this nasty little mouth, Xari.” I gripped her smooth jawline and she giggled. She was always down to do whatever felt right in the moment. I didn’t know how she would feel about pursuing something deeper though.

I’d watched her grow up and mature but how deep did those evolutions run? I hated the thought of putting my feelings on the line for them not to be reciprocated. The pads of my fingers tingled as I constructed the words I wanted to say in my mind.

“Nah, but I did want to talk to you.” I kissed the back of her hand and she nodded, her eyes sobering.

“About this,” she gestured between us.

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“Listen, Evander…” Her slender throat flexed as she studied her fingers and hands. Immaculately shaped and filed nails painted white seemed to be the most interesting things she’d ever laid eyes on.

“If you don’t want to keep fucking around, I understand.” The fine arches of her eyebrows pulled together and crimson heat mottled her ochre skin. I couldn’t believe my ears.

She thoughtIwanted to break things off.

“I don’t want to keep fucking around, Xari,” I said with a huge exhale. Her shoulders fell and hurt flashed in her eyes. She tried to cover it but I saw it. I rushed to ease the sting. “I want something deeper.” I touched the side of her face, cupping her cheek in my hand. Her skin was warm and silky against mine. “With you.”

She studied me for a minute, uncertainty gripping her in a frozen fist. “Wait, so you don’t want to break things off with one last fuck?”

“Hell no,” I chuckled, relief dripping through my veins like cool water. “It’s the opposite,” I told her, swallowing a knot of jittery nerves. The room fell silent. The knocking of my heart reverberated against the walls of my ribs.

It was now or never. Spit it out and put my heart on the razor-thin line. Either I’d come out on the other side reassured by her reciprocity or sliced to ribbons by her rejection.

“Xari, I’m falling for you.” There. I said it. The truth was finally out in the universe. A truth I’d been avoiding for so long. I conjured it in my heart and spoke it from my lips.

I couldn’t deny that I was falling. I cared about her too much. I loved her easy company and encouraging words. I loved her confidence and fire. I loved how she made me laugh. Most importantly, the way she loved Frankie put me at peace.

The gasp she sucked in froze me. I didn’t know what was coming next. I held my breath and listened to my blood pound against my veins.

Say something, Xari…

She reached over and pulled me against her plush mouth. She sucked on my lips one at a time before drawing in a shaky breath. “I’m falling for you too, Evander.” Her lashes rested against her cheeks as her eyes fell shut. “I knew it when the hairs on my arms stood for you. That only happens with Sunshine.” When she opened her eyes, I saw a wet sheen making them sparkle.

She was beautiful. She cracked her ribs open and allowed me to examine her hidden parts. The parts she kept close to her chest. It was all open for my mind and heart to feast on. I wanted to savor them though.

I finally felt close to someone. Like I had a best friend and a lover tied together with silk and cashmere. Warmth and ease.

“I love you, Xari,” I said in an unavoidable rush of truth. She squeezed her eyes shut like she was at the top of a rollercoaster ready to zip down the other side. The unknown side.

“I love you too, Evander.” She opened her eyes to look at me so we could take the plunge together.

I pulled her on top of me. My only concern was feeling her body. Tasting her. Dipping my tongue into her mouth to explore the three words we both shared.

Our kiss tasted different.

Sweeter.