Page 83 of Whiskey and Regret

Besides, after I emailed her some of my books, she barely mentioned them. She only told me when she started reading. That was it.

Maybe my ego was bruised.

I’d never mention it though.

“You drive me up a fucking wall, Xari.” I nipped at her earlobe before checking my watch. I felt the temperature cool between us and I knew it was because I didn’t reciprocate but I couldn’t. Xari brought things to the surface of me that I had nowhere to put. I didn’t know what to do with the thoughts and feelings she unleashed inside of me, so it was easier not to deal with them head-on.

“The driver is outside,” I said, moving toward the door. Since Apollo was coming along to the event, we were taking the truck.

“Right.” Her voice was different. It wasn’t pulled tight and dripping with sarcasm and attitude. I knew for a fact I detected what sounded like hurt feelings. The revelation made me sick to my stomach.

I never wanted to hurt Xari’s feelings.

The thought gnawed at me while we clicked our seatbelts in place and the truck pulled off. I didn’t even hear Apollo talking to me from the front seat because I was too busy staring at Xari’s side profile while she looked out of the window.

“Van, you okay?” He asked.

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine. Just tired.” I wasn’t in the mood for small talk so I hoped the conversation would die off.

When it did, I went back to studying the enigma sitting beside me. She pulled out her phone, still keeping her body angled away from mine. I tried to occupy myself with something so I pulled out my phone too. I couldn’t stare at her for the entire ride.

My phone buzzed with a text the moment I had it in my hands.

Xari: Why are you staring at me like a fucking creep?

I jerked my eyes to her, and I couldn’t help but smile a little.

Xari: Apollo is going to notice you’re staring at me too, Evander.

Me: Sorry. I get caught up when I see beauty up close and personal.

Xari: Wow. That was so fucking horrible. LOL Is that how you apologize for being a dick?

Me: Nah. Usually, that involves fucking you until you can’t walk.

Xari: Fucking me until I can’t walk. Sounds like what you wrote in A Heart’s Song. I mean you said it poetically but that was the gist.

I stared at my phone for a few silent seconds, blinking at her words. My heart thudded to life in my chest.

Me: You read A Heart’s Song?

Xari: Yeah. I finished it. I finished all your books. I was planning to have this long, drawn-out discussion with you book club style last night but we ended up getting drunk and you gave me dick until we passed out.

Me: We did…I don’t regret it.

Xari: Me either.

Me: So…what did you think? I mean about the books.

Xari: LOL because you already know how I feel about the dick.

Xari: I think you have such a unique voice, Evander. I also think I saw a little bit of myself in Riley from Firebird.

Me: Because you did see a little of yourself in her. When I wrote that book, you’d started bleeding into my subconscious.

Xari: Being your muse makes me really fucking horny, Evander.

When I glanced over at her, she was biting her plum-colored bottom lip. Watching her and knowing she was turned on, made my dick hard. I shifted a little in my spot and went back to texting.