Page 37

Chapter 37

Everett

Grace and I swiftly made it out of the city—being quite literally under the highway helped—but there was no way to outwit the traffic that soon greeted us. It was a little after four thirty.

“Hey, Grace…,” I said when she reached across the center console for my hand. She casually threaded our fingers together. It sent shock waves up my arm. “I’m going to talk to my mom when I get home.”

“About what?” she asked. “Your Phillie Phanatic day?”

“Oh, obviously,” I said as she eased up on the brakes a bit. The Subaru moved all of five feet forward. “She’ll want every last detail.” I closed my eyes, remembering our phone call at the art museum. I want you to enjoy the rest of your visit, but I think later we should rediscuss…

“Ev?” Grace prompted, sensing there was more.

“We’re going to talk about me going on a new antidepressant,” I said. “My therapist keeps recommending it, and even though I filled the prescription, I keep saying no.”

Grace inched the Subaru forward again. Her mouth twisted. Unlike Isa, who always knew when to be a listener, Grace sometimes had to fight to keep her thoughts to herself. “You’re worried,” she guessed when I didn’t say more. “You’re worried the same thing will happen as last time.”

Heat rushed to my cheeks. Grace had seen me on the first medicine; I’d even snapped at her once. “Yeah.” I nodded. “I know I’m depressed, Grace, but I’m also happy enough. Not at school, but I’m happy with my mom and sisters, and I’m happy with you.” I squeezed her fingers. “I don’t want that to change.”

“It might not,” she said softly but with a fierce faith. “Those are just possible side effects, not guaranteed ones.” She turned and gave me a look. “I’m here for better or worse, Ev. I’m all in, always.” She let go of my hand to cup my cheek. Somehow, it took the weight of the world off my shoulders. “But I also want you to be happier than ‘happy enough.’ Your dad would want that, too. This new medication might stop you from feeling the current trying to sink you.”

I nodded. Isa had said something similar. “That’s what I realized today,” I said. “I want that, too. And I’m going to tell my mom tonight.”

“Good.” Grace touched the back of her hand to my mouth. I kissed it, and we grinned at each other before someone honked their horn. We both jumped in our seats, a clear stretch of highway suddenly ahead of us. I waved an apology to the car behind as Grace pressed down on the gas pedal.

But all too soon, she braked right next to an Audi that immediately set off an internal siren. In my entire eighteen years of existence, I swear I’d never squawked until now.

“What?” Grace said. “What is it?”

“Your dad,” I whispered, pulse pumping. “Grace, it’s yourdad.”

She craned her neck to look out my window. “Fuck,” she mumbled. “Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Of all the cars in this standstill traffic, we’d pulled up next to Scott Barbour. This had to be some kind of joke. It had to be. A joke from the heavens above—

The tips of my ears prickled. Mom and Abigail had their cardinals, Margot made her friendship bracelets, and Mr.Barbour even kept an eye out for hideous Ferraris.

No, I thought. It can’t be.

Dad was not messing with me.

“He’s going to see us,” Grace gulped after we shoved on our sunglasses, her hands gripping the steering wheel like it was her only lifeline. “He’ll recognize—”

“He’s not going to recognize anything,” I cut her off, unbuckling my seat belt and stretching into the backseat. I loved Grace’s car, but the one thing that drove me nuts was that whatever she and James tossed into the back made its permanent home there. There was so much stuff. Today, though, their habit might just save us. I dug through extra school supplies, drawstring bags stuffed with who knew what, and school spirit day costumes until I found something that could work. “Here,” I said, and tossed Grace a Stetson and a suede jacket with brown fringe. I vaguely remembered one of James’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-her girlfriends spending spring break out in Colorado.

“Oh, perfect,” Grace whispered as she wrestled on the jacket and slammed the hat on her head. “These were Lauren Bitterman’s. Dad only met her once.”

I mined the backseat for more, digging deeper. I needed a hat or something. Between Fairmount Park and Old City, we did acquire a Phillies jersey, and Isa had forged their top players’ autographs. Mr.Barbour would never expect me to be wearing it.

A minute later, I found a knitted beanie at the bottom of the barrel. Sure, I thought. I can be one of those guys who wears a winter hat in seventy-something-degree weather…

It looked sort of familiar.

I flipped it inside out to see the Lands’ End tag, along with a pair of initials. “He lent that to me right after I got my hair cut way too short,” Grace said as I stared at the JTA, for Jesse Thomas Adler. “It was snowing outside when I left your house, and he didn’t want me to get cold.” She smiled, guilty. “I know I should’ve given it back, but it was too toasty.”

“It’s a great hat,” I agreed before hearing myself say: “It’s also a sign.”

And then I started laughing. “Shh,” Grace giggled. “Ev, bequiet!”

Who do you want to win, Dad? I wondered. Grace and me? Or your best friend?

“We have to be really strategic about speed,” Grace said, even though traffic was at a standstill. “I know there are Subarus everywhere, but we’re toast if he sees our bumper stickers.” She gasped when I slowly lowered my window. “ What are you doing?”

“Just cracking it,” I told her. “He has his down, and it looks like he’s on the phone. We’ll do a little eavesdropping.”

Mr.Barbour was wearing his AirPods and drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. Grace and I didn’t dare look hisway—or breathe, really—once we had audio. “Yes, it’s going to be a brutal ride home,” Grace and I heard him say. “I could put the car in park if I wanted; that’s how backed up everything is.” He paused, then chuckled. “Oh, fuck off, Jeff. I know the New Jersey side has less traffic, but I wasn’t near the bridge…”

“Crap, I knew we should’ve taken that route,” Grace mumbled.

“Well, I told Grace I’d be back by six,” her dad continued, “but Kim called a couple hours ago to remind me we madeplans.”

Grace and I exchanged an eyebrow raise. Plans? What plans?

Plans were promising.

“We forgot that we’re having happy hour drinks with our new neighbors.” Pause. “Yeah, that family from Vermont. Their yippy dog still does nothing but bark, but the couple is very nice. Kim’s excited, and told me she could use a cocktail or two after the day she’s had at work.”

“Yes, let loose, Mom!” Grace whisper-cheered. “You drink your G I probably looked like my dad in the Phillies jersey and hat. Mr.Barbour’s eyes didn’t widen in immediate recognition, but he cocked his head in confusion. I distracted him from putting any puzzle pieces together by leaning over to give Grace a sloppy kiss. After all, The Parents didn’t know we were together yet. “Go,” I whispered once my tongue was no longer lodged down her throat. The horn honked again. “Hurry.”

“It’s not the car behind us,” she whispered back. “It’s the car behind him. ”

Grace was right; with ten wide-open and pothole-ridden yards ahead of him, Mr.Barbour had some ground to cover. Soon enough, a Volvo stopped next to us, but the second the opportunity presented itself, Grace flipped her blinker, narrowly switched lanes, and sped up a sudden stretch of road. “Have fun with the Vermont people, Dad!” she shouted.