Page 29

Chapter 29

Grace

James? Rittenhouse Square? Philadelphia? No, I still couldn’t believe it. School was over for the day, but driving into the city would’ve meant he’d left early—or, knowing James, walked out early. “Are you sure it was him?” I asked Ev as our latest Uber stopped at a red light. All three of us were in the backseat.

“I only caught a glimpse,” he answered, squashed between Isa and me, “but yeah, I’m pretty sure. He wasn’t wearing the same shirt he had on when he picked me up this morning, but it looked really familiar.”

I gave Ev a quizzical look. “Wait, why did he pick you up? Did your battery die again?”

“Yep, and the jumper cables are in my mom’s car, which is in the shop.” He rubbed his forehead. “All we have is theBronco….”

I resisted the urge to run my hand through his hair. Today was the day Ev’s dad had been diagnosed with brain cancer—I wished he’d told me. I really wished he’d told me. Had I done the right thing by pulling him out of school and making him face Philadelphia? Or was it a mistake?

You’re so blinded by him , Isa’s words floated through my head. You don’t see what’s right in front of you….

Well, right in front of me now was a Find My Friends map, with James nowhere to be seen. “The Invisible Man” we sometimes called him, because he almost always had his location settings switched off. Isa, Ev, and I, however, were very much not invisible. “He found us through this,” I told the others, holding up my phone and groaning. “I’m so stupid.”

Isa didn’t say anything, perfectly happy to stare out the window. She’s still upset with me, I thought, heart twisting. What am I missing?

“I don’t think it was just Find My Friends,” Ev said. “He genuinely thought you were sick today. Can I see your phone?”

He unlocked it himself, already knowing the passcode. I watched him tap and scroll, searching for something until he stopped and pointed at the screen. It was my chat with James. I looked and reread its most recent messages—me asking him to bring home my missed assignments, me making a joke about our mom repainting the house, and then him writing: Isa’s absent too, FYI.

And, lo and behold, I had sent back:

I know. I’m going to take a nap now. Thanks for getting my stuff. XOXO.

My stomach squirmed. Everything about that text was normal…except for the last part. XOXO.

Shit, I thought. My brother wasn’t one for missing the little details in life. He knew this message didn’t sound like me.

But it sounded exactly like someone else.

I favored heart emojis, but for years, Isa’s sign-off had been XOXO. Day or night, happy or sad, home or on vacation: XOXO. Ev was right; this text had been the major tip-off. It had blown Isa’s and my cover. It told James that she and I were together. “Has Isa sent her nightly hugs and kisses?” he liked teasing while we brushed our teeth before bed.

“Isa,” I said lightly, willing myself to stay calm. “Do you have any idea how James figured out we were in Philly? Assuming he didn’t just see us on Find My Friends?”

Her spine straightened in her seat. Isa was my best friend, but when pressed, she wasn’t the best liar. This time, she didn’t even try. “Because of me,” she said with a shallow sigh. I saw her lace her fingers together. “I kinda told him.”

“Yeah.” I held up my phone. “With your XOXO mistake.”

“Well,” she said, reaching back to redo her ponytail, “it’s a little more complicated than that.”

I cocked my head. “More complicated?”

Isa bit her lip but then unzipped her purse and took out her phone. Ev put a subtle and silent hand on my knee as she pulled something up onscreen. “Please don’t read the messages,” she whispered once she’d given it to me. “Just the pictures.”

Pictures? I thought, and then, Oh, snap, pictures !

Isa had sent James an album’s worth of images documenting our day, an entire trail of breadcrumbs. There was one of me driving Mr.Cruz’s Tesla, a shot of Independence Hall and its Assembly Room, a video of Ev and me racing up the art museum’s Rocky Steps, photos of various paintings, Jean-Georges’s panoramic cityscape, even Pat’s superior cheesesteaks— everything.

I lost it before I could stop myself. “Why, Isa?” I asked, my heart hitching and voice shrill. Poor Ev, poor Uber driver. Things were going to get loud. “Why would you do this? James is going to tell our parents!”

“Because he should’ve been invited!” she cried. “Like I said, there are four of us, G, not three!”

“But it’s not the same….” I trailed off. Ev’s fingers found mine as it suddenly dawned on me. Isa assuming we were kidnapping James. Isa losing it over James’s fifth-grade shenanigans at Independence Hall. Isa hugging James’s blue blazer to her heart—the blazer she had faithfully held while touring the art museum, and the blazer she’d been wearing since escaping the sixty-story Comcast building.

And there were probably a million other things, things I’d missed because I was too focused on Ev and my guilt. Who had Isa been talking and laughing with at our family get-togethers? Who did she always perform with at our annual talent show? Who helped her quell her anxieties?

Holy crap, it was all so obvious now.

I swallowed hard and leaned forward in my seat. The two of us locked eyes. “You like my brother,” I said, my mind whirling. “You like James.”

Fairmount Park was over two thousand acres. Rolling hills, woodland trails, gardens and green spaces, and relaxing waterfront views of the Schuylkill River. Once upon a time, we had gone to the Philadelphia Zoo in West Fairmount, but today, our Uber dropped us off in East Fairmount, at Boathouse Row. Fifteen historic Victorian houses lined the riverbank, each one belonging to a Philly college or rowing club. I’d only ever seen them from across the river. They looked especially stunning at nighttime, all lit up with Christmas lights come December.

But I would have to wait a little longer to admire the boathouses up close, because as soon as we got out of the Uber, Isa began hobbling up the paved pathway in her heels. “Speed-walking,” if you used the term loosely. “Isa!” I called. “Wait!”

She ignored me, and I didn’t exactly blame her. How could I? “Yes, I like James,” Isa had admitted in the car. “This isn’t how I wanted to tell you, but I do. I really, really like him.”

And what had I said?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

In fact, I’d even turned away from her to lean against my window. My heart was beating too fast to say anything, and truthfully, it was a lot to process. James was James. The complete opposite of Isa’s usual type, and not to mention, he was my brother. I’d always thought Isa saw him as her brother, too. The brother she’d never had.

I guess not.

Isa didn’t wait for me, but I caught up to her pretty quickly. (I’d seriously offer to switch shoes with her, but our feet were far from the same size.) “Hey,” I said while Ev trailed a distance behind us. “Hang on for a sec. Let’s talk.”

“Why?” Isa asked. She sounded a little choked up. “Clearly you’re upset with us.”

Us. They were an “us”—or at least wanted to be one, like Ev and I did.

Isa’s heels stopped click-clack ing when I pulled her into a hug. “I’m not upset with you guys,” I said. “I’m surprised—maybe even a bit overwhelmed and really confused? But I’m not upset, Isa. I’m not.” I broke away and nodded at a nearby bench. “Do you want to sit and tell me aboutit?”

Isa shook her head. “No.”

My brow knitted together. “No?”

“No, I mean, yes,” she said quickly. “Yes, I do. But can we keep walking? If I sit down…” She glanced at her shoes. “I don’t think I’ll ever stand up again.”

I checked my phone. We had time, and our parking meter back at Independence Hall wasn’t hungry yet. “Lead the way.” I smiled at Isa, linking my arm with hers. But as I glanced at Ev over my shoulder, I felt Isa unlink our arms. “I’m sorry,” I blurted. I knew Ev and I didn’t need Isa’s permission to date, but a huge part of me wanted her blessing. “You’re right. I’m obsessed with him, it’s a problem, and I’m going to work onit….”

Isa laughed. “No, it’s okay,” she said. “It’s nice, actually. I think it’s a good thing to be kind of obsessed with your otherhalf.”

“ You are my other half,” I told her.

She smirked. “And aren’t you obsessed with me?”

I smirked back, so relieved inside. “Irrefutably.”

“But you know what I mean,” Isa said. “You are obsessed with your other other half, too.”

We both looked back at Ev, who had his hands tucked in his pockets and was once again risking his life by sporting that stupid Mets hat. My heart somersaulted.

That boy.

“Okay, tell me about James,” I said. “Tell me why you’re obsessed with him.”

Isa sighed. “Well, first, because he’s just so sweet. ”

I gave her a look. “We’re talking about my brother, right? James Barbour?”

“G!” She lightly slapped me. “Come on, listen!”

And so I did. I listened as we abandoned Boathouse Row, walking along our winding pathway until we reached a sprawling meadow with late afternoon picnickers and multiple Ultimate Frisbee games in motion. Isa told me about the first time she felt sparks with James, one night when she’d come over to find me gone. “He made me the most delicious ice cream sundae,” she said, and I nodded. James had certainly been touched by the sundae gods. “And then we just talked about random things—he made me laugh. I was so wound up from my class that night, but by the time I left your house, I felt like me again. I felt like a happier me.” She paused. “This is nothing against you, Grace, but ever since all the college stuff started, I haven’t been very happy.”

I haven’t been very happy.

My heart pushed hard against my chest, wanting to break free and fly to her. “Oh,” I whispered, but when I tried to hook my arm around hers again, she didn’t let me.

“An Ivy League school is my dream,” she said, “but getting there was really stressful. I mean, you know…”

I nodded. Her panic attacks.

“I’m not saying you didn’t support me,” she said. “It’s just, James was surprisingly what I needed. You steady the load,but he lightens it.” Her voice grew quiet. “I needed to be light, or else I would’ve been crushed.”

“No, I get it,” I said. “He has his gifts. Ice-cream sundaes are one, and calming you down is another. Then we have piano, pranking teachers, faking illnesses…”

Isa giggled as we passed a huge abstract sculpture. I liked this meandering walk of ours, I liked our easy, high heel–friendly pace. I liked that my best friend was gushing about a guy, even if that guy was my brother.

He was just such a goofball!

“Yeah, and he’s also incredibly kind, caring, and smart,” Isa replied when I said as much. “But I do love his goofiness. It’s one of my favorite things about him.” She grinned. “I came to your house after my SAT class one night, and you weren’t home, but James was. And when I saw him in your kitchen, eating an ice cream sundae, it felt like coming home to your other half after a long day. Like he was the person I’d wanted to see all along.” She wrinkled her nose. “Does that sound silly?”

“No.” I shook my head. “No, Isa, it definitely doesn’t.” I thought about the two of them over the years, about all their talent show concerts—how natural their voices were together, how they smiled at each other during songs, how they almost made their audience feel like intruders. In a way, it was hard to believe this hadn’t happened sooner. “I’m happy for you,” I said, then oh-so-dramatically sighed after Isa grinned. “But I can’t say there won’t be an adjustment period for me. I’ll have to get used to the fact that you’ll be making out with my brother two doors down from my room.”

Isa groaned. “Really? You had to go there?” She shook her head. “We both know James has hooked up with plenty ofgirls.”

It was true. My brother had that “wink-and-a-smile” charm. He had dated a handful of girls, always inviting them over and bringing them…

“To the basement,” I told Isa. “No girl besides you has ever been in his room.”

Isa proudly smoothed James’s blazer. “I’m sorry I kept it a secret,” she said a moment later. “I should’ve told you sooner. He’s wanted to tell everyone for months”—she blushed—“but I said I wasn’t ready.”

“Hey, don’t be sorry.” I reached for her hand. “I kept Ev a secret, too.”

Isa gave me a look. “I’m sorry about that, too,” she said. “I’m sorry that everyone expected you to choose a side when Everett and I broke up, especially me. I never should’ve done that, and I also never should’ve asked you to pretend in front of our families.”

“Isa…” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “We should’ve just talked. All we had to do was talk.”

She nodded. “That’s another reason why I felt like I couldn’t tell you about James. You two used to be so close, G, and now you barely talk. I didn’t want to risk driving you further apart.”

I blinked back tears. James and I had been super close when we were younger, and I missed those days. When he’d been assigned a different academic track in middle school, we didn’t share any of the same classes or even the same lunch period. He made new friends, and I stopped asking him to hang out with Isa and Everett and me. By high school, we were so used to our new routine that it felt like it was too late to reconnect. Neither of us made the effort.

“I understand,” I told Isa, and whispered that I loved her when we hugged.

“I love you too, G,” she whispered back.

“A band name,” I said when we made another turn, into Fairmount Park’s azalea garden. The breathtaking magenta, red, and purple flowers were in full bloom. “Now that you and James are basically together, you have to settle on a band name.”

“Funny you should mention that,” Isa said. “Today gave me an idea, and I sent it to James….” She pulled her phone out of her purse, and once she showed me the familiar painting—the one I had admired her admiring at the art museum—I smiled and looped my arm through hers. Isa laughed as we walked in perfect harmony. We were forever linked.

But that didn’t mean she couldn’t also be linked with someone else.