Page 19 of While Angels Slept (de Lohr Dynasty #1)

He sighed heavily, wandering over to where she sat. He sat down beside her heavily, his dark eyes dulled with bewilderment. Val put her hand over his.

“It’s not as if you can marry her,” she said softly.

He hung his head, staring at the floor. “It’s strange,” he muttered. “But that fact never bothered me until you just said it. Louisa has been gone so many years now that I do not feel married. I haven’t since the day she ran off.”

Val hated bringing up the old shame, but given Tevin’s train of thought, she had to. “She may very well be alive,” she said. “But then again, she may not. We simply do not know. But you cannot take the chance that she is still alive, somewhere.”

Tevin grunted, still staring at the floor. “The woman is not a part of my life, yet I am married to her.” He lifted his gaze from the ground, staring off across the room. “Until this moment, it never bothered me.”

Val squeezed his hand. “Then you feel something more for Lady Penden than simple pity,” she confirmed.

“But whatever it is, you must stop. It is not fair to the lady. She is still young and beautiful and will make some man a fine wife. You cannot let her fall for a man who will never be able to marry her.”

Tevin looked sharply at his sister. She could read the turmoil in the dark eyes and it pulled at her heart. She could already see that he was far gone for the lady. She put her hands on his face.

“Tevin, for her sake, you must stop this,” she whispered. “The death of her husband has already broken her heart. You cannot possibly think to destroy it further.”

He opened his mouth to argue with her, but just as quickly closed it.

A sardonic smile creased his lips. “Louisa and I were so young when we married. I never even knew her until the day we said our vows. And after she left… I just forgot about her. I didn’t care.

She left Arabel with me and that was all that mattered.

Just so long as she did not take my daughter, I did not care where she went.

But now… now I have, in the most unexpected of places, found a woman I would give up the entire world for and I cannot have her.

The irony of the situation is unfathomable. ”

“I know.”

“Nay, you do not. I want her, Val. I cannot stomach living the rest of my life without her.”

“Then it would be only as your mistress, not your wife.”

“She is far too worthy to be a mistress. She comes from a long line of consorts to kings. She deserves more.”

“More than you can give her,” Val said.

His gaze was piercing. “I can give her everything but marriage.”

Val didn’t say any more. She had said her piece and the rest was up to her brother. Mostly, she couldn’t say any more because she could see the pain in his eyes. Whatever he was feeling was consuming him. He needed time to sort it out.

“Well,” she stood up stiffly, favoring her torso. “We can talk about this at another time. I fear you have much on your mind with the approach of Geoff.”

He stood up next to her. “You and Cantia must leave before Geoff gets here. I do not want either of you here with him around.”

Val nodded in agreement. Her cousin could not control himself around women, even a blood relative. “Where shall we go?”

Tevin thought a moment. “Rochester has other holdings, including the fiefdom of Gillingham. I shall ask Lady Penden about it. Perhaps she knows of a place you can go until the storm blows over. In fact, I’ll send Myles with you. I’m not sure he should be here when Geoff arrives, either.”

They moved towards the door of the solar. “Then we should probably start making some manner of preparation,” Val said, not entirely upset by the prospect of going into seclusion with de Lohr.

“I’ll know more after I talk to Lady Penden,” Tevin said. Noting his sister’s expression, he held up his hands in supplication. “I’m simply going to talk to her about Gillingham and nothing more. And stop looking at me like that.”

Val stuck her tongue out at him and made her way to the stairwell that led to the second floor.

Tevin stood at the base of the steps, making sure she didn’t falter as she mounted then.

When he was sure she was safely on her way to her chamber, he went to seek out Lady Penden.

While the knights had gathered in the solar, she had taken her son out into the kitchen yard. He would start looking for her there.

*

Tevin found Cantia far beyond the kitchen walls.

Far beyond Rochester’s walls, in fact. It seemed that Hunt wished to chase rabbits and she had followed her son out into the flat, vast plain just to the west of the castle.

His momentary annoyance at her leaving the safety of the castle was dashed when he saw her face.

She was laughing as her son would run after a rabbit and then trip over himself in his efforts. She was having a marvelous time.

Cantia noticed him approach and she turned to him just as her son fell flat on his face when a rabbit slipped away from him. Before she could speak, Hunt waved and called out .

“My lord,” he picked himself up off the grass. “I am catching rabbiths!”

Tevin gave him a short wave. “I can see that,” he said, turning his focus to the boy’s radiant mother. “Why aren’t you helping him?”

She smiled. “Because he and the rabbit are much faster than I am.” She watched him snort. “Is there something I can do for you, my lord?”

Tevin’s dark gaze lingered over the topography before settling on her. “I need to speak with you when you are free of rabbits,” he said. “Something has come up and I require your assistance.”

“Oh?” she cocked her head, shading her eyes from the sun overhead. “Is it serious?”

He nodded faintly. “It could be. My cousin, the Earl of East Anglia, is coming to Rochester.”

Her eyes widened. “How marvelous,” she said. “When is he due? I must make all necessary preparations for the.…”

He cut her off. “’Tis not a grand occasion, I assure you.

” Hunt was off after another rabbit and Tevin lowered his voice as he watched the lad leap over the tall grass.

“I do not want you or your son here when my cousin arrives. I would ask your advice on where to send the two of you for the duration of his visit.”

She gazed at him a long moment before lowering her hand from her face. She seemed to lose her good spirits. “Of course,” her voice was strangely cold. “We would not want to be underfoot. We will certainly go away for the duration of the earl’s visit if that is your wish.”

He sensed that perhaps she had taken his meaning wrong.

“Cantia,” he said gently. “It is not that I wish you to go away. It is a necessity. My cousin is, shall we say, a less than scrupulous man. I am even sending Val with you because I do not trust him where women are concerned. Especially around you.”

Her momentary offense at what she thought he had been trying to tell her vanished with his quiet explanation. She should have known better.

“Why especially around me?” she asked .

Tevin’s dark eyes glimmered warmly at her. “Because you are the most beautiful woman in England, if not the world, and my cousin would not be blind to that. He might very well try to make you another one of his conquests and I would not stand for that.”

She gazed up at him, her lavender eyes luminous. A hint of pink crept into her cheeks. “You wouldn’t?”

He frowned. “I do not wish to commit murder, which is exactly what would happen were he to so much as look in your direction. You are not a woman to be trifled with.”

She lowered her gaze, humbled with his words. Or so he thought. As Tevin watched, she slowly reached out and took his fingers in her small, warm hand.

“How fortunate I am to have a protector such as you, my lord.”

He gripped her hand strongly, bringing it to his lips for a tender kiss. “In private you will call me Tevin,” he rumbled. “And I will protect you, always.”

Cantia felt the heat from his kiss course down her arm like a river of fire. She remembered the kiss in the church, the force of his passion, and it made her knees weak.

“Because it is your duty?” she asked breathlessly.

He shook his head. “Because I want to.”

She smiled at him, a dazzling gesture that sent bolts of exhilaration pulsing through Tevin’s big body.

He kissed her hand again, forgetting about the boy chasing rabbits or the fortress behind him.

There could have been eyes watching them at that moment and he could have cared less.

All he cared about was that beautiful face.

“God, I wish I could kiss you again as I did at the cathedral,” he admitted, his mouth against her fingers.

She put her hand on his head as he bent over her hand, feeling the soft copper tendrils beneath her fingers. “As do I,” she whispered. “Yet I suspect this is not the place for it. But at least there are no candles.”

He lifted his head, fighting off a grin. “You will never let me forget that, will you? ”

She shook her head, an impish grin on her lips. At that moment, Hunt suddenly popped up with a tiny rabbit in his arms. He struggled with the little creature as he made his way to his mother.

“Mam!” he called. “Look, I have one!”

Cantia discreetly took her hand away from Tevin as Hunt approached. “My, he is a little one,” she said to her son as he drew near. “Perhaps he needs to go back to his mother.”

But Hunt was firm. “I will take care of him. I will be his mam.”

“He is too young, Hunt,” she insisted gently. “He will be missing his mother. Would you not miss me if you were taken away?”

Hunt cocked his head just as Brac used to. Squinting in the sunlight, he looked curiously at his mother. “But I will go away, some day. I will go away to learn to be a great knight.”

Cantia’s heart just about broke. Tevin eyed her, remembering their conversation on fostering and knowing how she had reacted to it. Hunt had unknowingly reopened the tender wound. He took control of the conversation before Cantia could react.